Nothing makes me feel worse than days where I push Ellie to tears. It's not like I'm sitting around openly antagonizing her or anything. Although, if I was, then that would definitely make me a bad dad. She's not old enough to appreciate the concept of being antagonized and how that would be a way for me to show my love. If I was actually antagonizing her right now, I think it would be something like poking her whenever she falls asleep, taunting her with a bottle, or taking Leon the stuffed lion away from her. All horrible, no good, putrid, low-down things to do to an infant. Also, doing none of those things would speak well for me as a human being. Nope, me pushing Ellie to tears comes from a pretty simple source; trying to get her to sleep anywhere that is not her swing for naps.
It's probably not a huge problem for her to nap in her
swing. It's just that the forward
thinker in me sees it being a problem when she reaches that twenty-five pound
weight limit. Or when she gets so long
that her feet hang over the edge of the swing.
Or when she's thirteen. Ok, maybe
some of those aren't necessarily legitimate but you know what I mean. I actually thought I was going to have a
breakthrough on this quest today. After
playing a ton in her bouncy seat, I noticed that Ellie was starting to wear out
and get tired so it was time to transition to nap time. Since she actually seemed pretty tired, I
laid out her favorite blanket on our spare bed.
She doesn't roll around a ton so I figured she would be safe there. Once I laid her down, I read her a book and
then gave her a pacifier and sat in the room in the dark while she attempted to
fall asleep. As I write this, I now
realize how creepy me sitting in the room while she attempted to sleep could
have been.
When I first laid her down, she was pretty calm and still
but within five minutes, screaming began.
And by screaming, I mean it was so epic that I had to dig out some
earbuds to put in my ears just to block some of the sound. Once I got her calmed down, she closed her
eyes, sprawled out everywhere, and drifted off to Sleepytown USA (That should
really be the name of a store that sells beds).
After close to twenty minutes had passed, I heard the unmistakable sound
of Ellie's cries of sheer terror. I
guess she had woken up in the dark and in a room that she barely recognized
which led to severe fright. Poor baby. I went up to comfort her and she was actually
shaking. After getting her cooled down
again, Ellie went straight to her swing to nap there in peace.
 | ||
| It's apparently already a book and a song. Not a bed store...yet! |
If I'm being 100% vulnerable and honest, I think days where
I make her violently cry like that are the worst ones to go through as a
stay-at-home dad. Even though I could
easily avoid some of these by just bending to her will, I'm still trying to
figure out how and when to pick battles with an infant. I know that is a work in progress and I'll
figure it out eventually. Or die
trying. Or I'll simply go deaf. Or run away to Canada. I think all are possibilities.
And just so you don't think life is all bad, here's a cute
baby video that oddly begins with Ellie breaking epic wind. It's kind of her favorite thing to do now. Enjoy. #DaddyWrite
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