Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Day 12 - Introduction to Basic Baby Physiology 101




So my baby may not necessarily be a baby at all.  But something else instead.  Perhaps some kind of mutant kitten-volcano hybrid.  Based upon my experiences with her today, I can see all of those in her.  Just saying, I don't think those come from my side of the family.  For example, Ellie really hates it when her mother heads to work.  That is not hyperbole in the least.  Nothing leads to more pure unhappiness in her life than that second that the garage door closes.  I'm beginning to realize that this may just be a part of life for a while that both Ellie and I need to become accustomed to.  However, until she calms, her anger runs as hot as Mount Saint Helens.  As her anger builds, her face slowly turns from her pasty white complexion to more of a Donald Trump orange to finally reaching fire engine red.  Her volume definitely climbs in the same fashion as well.  Since she gets so wound up as an infant, I find myself trying to picture what she's going to be like as a teenager.  I can really only think of one thing.

 

Of course, she's got some volcano in her for more than one reason.  As I fed her today, during a calm portion of the day I might add, I felt like she was drinking her milk all in normally with no problems.  As I prepared to burp her once she made it halfway through her bottle, I laid her down on her back on my lap in order to set her bottle down.  Before I could do anything else, I see Ellie's mouth suddenly close and her cheeks fill to capacity.  At this moment, I see that time slows down into a horrible slow motion reality where I cannot act fast enough to do anything.  I just have to sit back and enjoy the show.  Ellie then opens her mouth and out erupts a stream of milk not unlike Old Faithful.  I just have to clean us both off and continue on.  At least until it happens again.  Then I'll clean us both off.  Unfortunately, it'll happen again.  Now we're done.


Now as for that kitten part.  Everyone knows that kittens are inherently cute.  Say it with me...Awww!  The soft and fluffy fur.  The big eyes.  The cute sounds.  I tend to think that my daughter is the same way.  She's got soft and silky hair.  Big blue eyes.  Tons of cute sounds.  Ellie's lacking a tail but other than that they're pretty similar.  They both even have a love for milk.  There is another thing that kittens and Ellie have in common.  Sharp nails!  If you've ever spent any time around a kitten, then it's likely that you've gotten a ton of holes punches in your shirt by those tiny claws.  While Ellie can't go that far, she can certainly leave scratches and marks up and down any easily accessible bare skin.  Not to mention her new love of pulling out arm hair of which I have plenty.  Luckily, baby scratch fever isn't a thing or else I'd be heading to the doctor.  Now, please excuse me while I go dig out all of my long sleeved shirts.  Winter may just hit the Holt household early this season...


#DaddyWrite

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