Happy Thirty, Ellie!
No, I'm not referring to her being thirty. If that's the case, then she has aged wicked
fast and needs to get out of my house, get a job, find a spouse, and all of that
other stuff that comes with that. Ellie
is still in that range between three months and four months old. No, instead of that, we're celebrating thirty
days of being kept alive by Daddy! In
the quest for catchy slogans to refer to this day, I looked for catchy thirtieth
slogans and may have modified them slightly to fit.
- · 30 is just 18 with 12 days experience.
- · 30 days never looked so good.
- · Feeling the love for 30 days.
That's probably enough.
Shockingly, there aren't many catchy birthday phrases for
thirty that can be easily adjusted for 30 days. So, in thinking about
how to celebrate this momentous occasion (other than cooking ribs), I began
thinking about new things that Ellie likes to do. I've always heard that if you want to show
someone that you care, then just take an interest in things they are interested
in. So Ellie has two relatively new
things that she loves. In fact, one of
them is new to today. I've been feeling
mildly inventive and creative lately (probably because of Shark Tank), so I
feel it might be time to invent something nice for Ellie.
 |
| Please, no. |
Thing 1. Ellie is a
drooler. And honestly, I am not
exaggerating there. If she's sitting
happily on my lap in an upright postion, odds are strong that both of our
shirts will be damp within a time span of fifteen minutes (Don't worry; I give
you permission to comment how gross that is).
This issue would probably subside if Ellie could bring herself to do one
simple thing; take her hands out of her mouth.
I think she really has a dream of getting the entire thing in
there. I even tried to dissuade her from
pursuing her dream by putting my hand in my mouth. Sure, I only got four fingers in there before
I found myself wanting to barf but that should be enough to show her it can't
be done (Did I mention that my mouth is really, really large?). Unfortunately, she still believes in her
quest as fervently as I believed in the Royals this year. So, I feel the time has come for me to invent
The Baby Drool Bucket, patent
pending. It would attach to her body
using a to be determined method (maybe bungee cords?).
Then, when full, you use its contents to water your house plants. Brilliant if I do say so myself.
Thing 2. Probably a
lot more exciting. Ellie learned to roll
over today for the very first time.
While doing tummy time today, Ellie found herself tired of being on her
stomach because it was keeping her from easily batting her favorite toy as it
hung above her. Her simple response,
just rolling over and batting at it with both hands. If I had actually been prepared for this to
occur, then I would have taken a photo but it didn't happen. I tried to entice her to roll over again for
the camera but she really wasn't interested hence my newest service. I proudly submit to you, Baby Dash, patent pending. In the vein of Warrior Dash, Baby Dash will
have three courses available. One for
babies that crawl, one for babies that walk, and another for babies that
roll. The way I figure, these can easily
be set up in every major US city using abandoned mini golf courses. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before now?
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| So, does this mean you don't want to invest? |
Ok, I admit that these ideas aren't the greatest and may
need a little extra work to come to pass.
Not to mention the epic liability issues involved with Baby Dash. Regardless, I'm pretty proud of Ellie rolling
over for the first time today. It's
always exciting to see her accomplish something new but I am really bummed that
Bethany is missing out on some of these firsts.
The beauty of all of these firsts though is that there are surely seconds
to follow. #DaddyWrite
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