I absolutely detest being scared. Seriously, if you do, I'll legitimately be
ticked off at you for having done so.
Honestly, I don't think I have ever once found myself desiring a good
scare. I've pretty much limited my
exposure to scary movies over the years because I just don't understand the
appeal. I will admit there are a few
good ones out there. 'The Sixth Sense'
is pretty stellar (Spoiler alert...Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole
time!). There's even a whole genre of
mobile games designed solely to create jump scares in people. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not the target demographic
though. Why do I bring all of this
up? Well, Ellie has discovered that I am
easily startled and has decided to take full advantage of it for her amusement.
 |
| Well, I see an out-of-work child actor... |
For example, Ellie's startling mobility has caused me to need
to reevaluate the way I spend my days (keyword in that sentence being
'need'). Basically, I have to be on my
guard with her at all times or she'll get herself into some kind of
mischief. Now, keep in mind that
mischief for an almost nine-month old consists generally of playing with phone
chargers, tearing up grocery ads, and trying to chew on (exclusively) left shoes. You know, normal stuff.
As a result, it's really important that I spend her nap time
wisely doing stuff like laundry, doing dishes, feeding myself, or writing. Unfortunately, I must admit that there are
times that I instead end up doing something frivolous like watching old clips
of Conan O'Brien on YouTube. I'm not
saying that's a bad thing though. Today
ended up being one of those days where I didn't get everything done during
Ellie's nap. Nothing to fear Bethany; I
only watched TV while I was eating my lunch!
Therefore, when the time came for me to actually take a shower for the
day, Ellie happened to be awake so I had to make due.
Since Ellie's now a little older, I don't see the need to
actually leave Ellie sitting right outside our bathroom door in her bouncy chair
when showering. Instead, I just close
the hallway door to our bedroom, give Ellie some toys, and let her play in the
floor accordingly. Normally there's no
issue with that but she was feeling a little clingy today after being a little
sick overnight.
About three minutes into my shower, shampoo in my hair, warm
water cascading down over my face, eyes closed, and in my own little world (#HerbalEssences),
Ellie chooses to let out a primal scream.
I literally jumped from a lack of expecting it. I frantically hopped out of the shower, tied
my towel around myself (because boundaries), and stepped out into the bedroom
only to be met by the grinning visage of my daughter. With an exasperated sigh, I stepped back into
the shower to begin rinsing again.
Before I knew it, Ellie let out the same primal scream leading me to
jump again. I peeked out the door to see
her sitting in the doorway, shaking a toy leaf, and grinning wildly at me
again. Realizing the game at this point,
I then rushed through the rest of my shower, if for no other reason than to
avoid Ellie-induced jump scares.
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| Is it more manly if I say it's the kind in the blue bottle? And that Bethany and I share shampoo? Oh, it doesn't? |
I'm really hoping that Ellie hasn't decided that
"Scaring Daddy" is her new favorite game. She already scares me plenty with her lack of
adequate chewing, her new obsession with attempting to climb and descend
stairs, and the nastiness that awaits me in her diapers. I really don't need her to add random jump
scares to the mix. If that's what I
wanted, I'd just pay $2.99 for a random 'Five Nights at Freddy's' game. #DaddyWrite
 |
| AAAHHHHHHH!!! |
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