Day 337 & 338 - Sleep Deprivation and the Study of Creative Sustenance Delivery

Question, can anyone out there remind me what sleep is? Also, can someone let me know what the appropriate amount of sleep someone should receive is? Another question, what's the best position for receiving adequate sleep in? Also, I should probably apologize in advance for the distinct possibility this post is littered with spelling errors, incorrect word usage, and jokes that fall flat (Actually that last part is always true so I recant my apology for that one).

Speaking of falling flat. Lame joke alert.

I bring up this whole lack of sleep issue because, well, because it's an issue right now (Wow, that was a very circular statement). Over the past few days, poor Ellie has been subjected to the continuous onslaught of three new teeth attempting to burst forth from her gums. Now, it's true that Ellie has been teething on and off since six months of age. However, to my recollection, I can't recall her ever having so many coming in at once. It's honestly no wonder she's upset. 

The last two days haven't necessarily started off well in the Holt household for yours truly as Ellie has decided to start her day at a point that's early for even Bethany. How early you may ask? 4:30 am! I know you're probably asking what exactly we did with Ellie at 4:30 am. The answer is simple; she and I relocated to our couch downstairs where I curled up with her on my chest under a soft blanket and proceeded to lull her back to sleep until Bethany started her day around 6:00 am.

I swear, there's a baby in there somewhere. Sorry for the B&W, bad exposure on that picture.

While Ellie's sleep has suffered the most from her teething, there is another downside to it. Namely, her ability to eat is compromised right now. Given Ellie's love of all things food, you know she's in intense pain if she's turning up her nose at food. In fact, last night at dinner, Bethany and I found ourselves in a unique situation attempting to get Ellie to eat.

Our issues began simply enough; with Ellie refusing to sit in her high chair. This really isn't an issue for us under normal circumstances. On the rare occasion Ellie fights her high chair, we just let her sit on one of our laps for dinner. Unfortunately for Ellie, we weren't willing to do so as she had sat on Bethany's lap for dinner on Sunday night.

And thus the battle commenced. Back and forth it raged. Ellie in the chair, out of the chair. On the floor in the living room crying, in her crib crying. It continued to rage back and forth until Bethany (in all of her kindness) relented and allowed Ellie to sit on her lap to eat her meal of spaghetti and carrots. I was not done however as I had an ace in the hole. What is that ace you may ask? Garlic toast.

I've never heard of this film but now feel like I should seek it out...

As Ellie was sitting on Ellie's lap, intensely staring at the piece of garlic toast in my hand, I began to purposely tear it apart. Instead of giving it directly to my daughter though, I instead laid the pieces on the table right in front of her high chair. With her eyes watching as I kept adding new pieces to the pile, I could see her little mind running the cost-benefit analysis  of just how many pieces of toast it would require for her to sit in her chair. Finally that number was reached at four and Ellie relented and went to her chair.

Unfortunately, the issue of getting her to actually eat something that wasn't garlic toast still remained. That was an easier fix though as all we had to do was play the airplane game. You know, the one where you pretend the fork is an airplane delivering food into a cave? Of course, that's not creative enough for me so I had to up the ante with a noise-filled progression of NASCAR racers, divebombers, trains, and Free Willy. I even busted out a zeppelin. I will say that impression left a little something to be desired as I didn't really know what sound a zeppelin made so I instead just repeated the words "zeppelin noise" over and over again while the fork lazily floated from side-to-side.

Go zeppelin, go! Also, props to me for continuing the black and white theme...

Here's hoping that things pick up for us soon. Honestly, I feel like the combination of sleep deprivation and coming up with creative methods of food delivery really don't work well in the long run. At least not unless I learn what sound a zeppelin actually makes. #DaddyWrite

See, it's not all bad times. Just mostly.

Day 333 - That's Half & Half Interesting

It's an interesting thing to think about our interests. Not our best interests mind you, but more along the terms of what we're interested in and why. Wow, I just used a variation of the word 'interest' four times in two sentences. That has to be some kind of record, right? All of those 'interests' and not a one deals with the banking definition of the term. That's impressive in itself for someone who spent nearly eight years in the financial industry.

That's just harsh, Mr. Larry David.

Ok, back from my little side rant now. I've been thinking about the concept of our interests lately, particularly when and why they form? Also, whether or not the interests we develop as a child remain with us throughout our lives? I mean, when I was a kid, I was super into the Ninja Turtles. Of course, so was every other child of the eighties. Now though, I couldn't care less. However, the opposite is true in some aspects. For example, I was really into NASCAR even before the boom period of the late nineties/early aughts and that still remains today.

Ellie, as I'm sure every toddler does, is very rapidly developing her own likes and dislikes, as well as things in which she is super interested. Chief among them for the time being seems to be cows. Despite her inability to mimic what a cow says (you know, not "Baa"), she still has a love for them that defies all logic for a child of her age. That was clearly evident after the 26th reading of our library book, Find a Cow, Now. Lucky for Ellie, Bethany's job at DFA has allowed us to procure a multitude of cow-based periodicals over the years. Also, lucky for Ellie, one happened to show up the same day we returned Find a Cow, Now.

Allow me to introduce you to Half & Half Magazine. DFA's newest magazine is essentially a mix of a recipe book and stories about farmers. When it arrived in the mail on Friday, neither Bethany or I gave it much thought at first. At least, that was the case until Ellie stumbled upon it. From the time she first cracked the pages, she's been enthralled by it. Seriously, the girl has spent upwards of fifteen minutes at a time perusing the pages just staring at the combination of food and cows.

Why yes, that is a lasagna on the cover.

Of course, Ellie's intense love of sharing has resulted in her wanting to share her affinity for Half & Half Magazine with her mother and I as well. Multiple times a day, Ellie will come to us with her magazine in hand requesting we partake in it with her. That pretty much leads to Bethany or I sitting down and describing pictures to her in detail. 

"Look at that, Ellie. It's a quiche. Oh, what's that you see? Why, of course, it's an article about the love of lasagna. What do you see there? That's coffee. Your aunt is obsessed with the stuff but you're way too young for it, Ellie."

Of course, it goes without saying that Ellie's affection for the magazine completely changes once pictures of cows come into play. Basically as soon as we reach those pages, Ellie will grab hold of our hands and "encourage" us to lovingly stroke each picture of cattle. For the record, these aren't touch-and-feel pictures either. They're just regular old color photos printed on recycled paper. The good thing about Ellie's current love of cattle is that it makes it relatively easy to keep her entertained. Especially when you consider it really just takes an agriculture magazine to do so.

Oh, the irony of a stack of books sitting by Bethany's feet as they instead read Half & Half Magazine.

Honestly, I'm hoping Ellie's love of agriculture continues throughout her childhood, teenage years, and on into adulthood. Even though we don't currently live on a farm, Bethany and I both have a deep appreciation for agriculture's role in our lives stemming from our respective childhoods spent living on farms. Hopefully Ellie will grow up with a hint of understanding for the role of agriculture in everyday life as well.

Or, you know, at least continue to be entertained by simple photos of cows. If nothing else, it'll make long car trips easier someday. #DaddyWrite

Day 332 - Daddy Versus the DMV

I could write a hook today. In fact, it'd probably be a very good hook. Possibly even the best hook ever. However, I feel the title of this blog post simply belays the need for a hook. After all, we're all familiar with the DMV and how going there can be one of the worst experiences on earth so let's dive right in. 

As you likely already know, my old RAV4 was totaled in an accident back in December. A week later, we found and purchased a 2013 RAV4 and that pretty much catches you up on the current state of affairs. 

Here we are a month later and while everything regarding the car is great, there has been one small issue; namely the lack of title in our possession. Now, don't worry about me getting pegged for stealing the car or anything as I do have proof of ownership hanging out in my glovebox. The problem is that my temporary license tags have expired and I've begun to accumulate fines for not having paid my sales tax or having the car properly licensed.

Obviously, I've been blowing up the phone lines over the past couple of weeks trying to figure out the status on my title. Today, I finally got the answer I'd been looking for with the news that my title was at the dealership in St. Joseph. So, even though it was supposed to be sent to me via overnight mail last Wednesday (not going into that), I decided to take matters into my own hands, load up Ellie, and head north.

While I used to make driving with Ellie a staple of everyday life, that has kind of faded into oblivion as she's gotten older. Therefore, it was definitely a slight shock to my system to see that instead of falling asleep in the car, Ellie instead chose to "sing" aloud to the radio all the way to St. Joseph and back. Just goes to further show how fast she's growing up that she doesn't feel the urge to sleep in the car anymore. 

Upon arriving at the dealer in St. Joseph, I extracted Ellie from her car seat (after putting her shoes and socks back on, of course) and headed inside to the front desk. Upon our arrival, I chose to set Ellie down on the ground as I talked with the attendant. Normally when I do this, she tends to just patiently look around until it's time to leave. That would not be the case today as she instead chose to position herself between me and the desk. 

With her back facing the desk, she proceeded to push all of the weight into my legs until I finally had to step back. At that point, I looked down at Ellie to see her raising her arms aloft signifying her desire to be picked up. Rather than risk a meltdown in a public setting, I picked Ellie up and held her in my left arm while still having to sign documents releasing the title to me with my right hand.

Once I finally had the title in my grasp, I loaded Ellie back up in the car and drove the two blocks over to the St. Joseph License Bureau to get my car licensed. Although I was able to procure a spot close to the door (after it was vacated by a gentleman who it's possible should not be driving an automobile), I first chose to peek in the window before removing Ellie from her car seat. Wise decision as there were close to 30 people seated in the waiting area awaiting help. With that knowledge in hand, I chose to hop back in the RAV4 to instead head back to Kansas City and specifically the Parkville License Bureau.

When we arrived at our destination, I sat in the car for a moment to make certain I had all of the documentation necessary to license my car before getting Ellie out in the rain and snow. Once I confirmed all was good, then it was time to let Ellie out. Of course, I couldn't just remove her and be good to go. I first had to shove her wildly dancing feet back inside her socks and shoes. Once that was done, I sat Ellie down on her feet in the parking lot where she began screeching happily (to the legitimate joy of the guy applying expiration stickers to his plates a few spots over) and we walked inside the office together.

Upon entering the office with my folder of documents in one hand and holding Ellie's hand with the other, I quickly scanned the multitude of lines until I found my rightful spot in vehicle titling. As Ellie and I took our spot in line, she immediately asked me to be lifted up so that she could see better. Then, she spent our ten minute wait pointing to everything of value in the office and providing an explanation for the intrinsic value of said item. Finally, it was our turn.

I approached the counter and sat Ellie down at my feet. It didn't take 30 seconds before she began pushing me away from the counter just as she had at the dealership. Finally, I gave in and picked her up again so that she could engage with Shawnda (remember that name) in their own conversation. Finally, after five minutes (and multiple shufflings of my daughter from left arm-to-right arm), the job was done and Ellie and I headed out the door to go home. Pretty easy if I do say so myself.

At least I thought the job was done. Fast forward an hour and I receive a phone call from an unknown number. Normally I just ignore calls like these and let them go to voicemail. For some weird reason though, I felt compelled to answer. So answer I did (my responses are in bold).

Hello?

Mrs. Holt?

Um, this is Mr. Holt.

My apologies. This is Shawnda at the Parkville License Bureau. Do you happen to still have your title in your possession?

If so, it's in a folder in my car. I'll check. Uh yes, I do.

We're going to need that back. Can you bring it to our office tonight before close?

Yes, I can do that.

                                         

As you can see, my time at the DMV was not yet finished. However, instead of dragging Ellie along on the trip again, I waited until Bethany would arrive at home so that I go by myself. I mean, I can't be certain it wasn't Ellie's fault for the mistake to begin with. After all, you can't sit there in your daddy's arms and regale office workers with anecdotes about their stapler and expect the job to be completed to perfection. That's just not how things work, Ellie! #DaddyWrite

Day 331 - Sit n' Sled

Stop me if you've heard this statistic before. The average office worker spends 10 hours a day in a sedentary position. By the way, that statistic encapsulates all of that time at the desk in the office as well as anytime sitting at home in front of the TV or what have you. You scared yet? 

Honestly, it doesn't shock me. I mean, by the end of my gainful employment, I did have a stand-up desk available for my use. However, if I'm being totally honest, I probably used it for a max of a couple of hours each day. The rest of the time was spent sitting in my nice desk chair with a moderate recline working as I watched the hours tick away. That's probably one of the biggest differences between my old job as a Client Operations Specialist, Associate II (at least I think that was my title when I left) and my current job of Manager at Holt Stay-at-Home Dad Enterprises. 

If you claim you've never done this, you're lying...

I bring up this whole sitting concept mostly because it's a rarity that Ellie wants to sit for very long at all. Seems relatively normal for a toddler right? Well, be prepared to be shocked as I have a nice little story for you that actually involves Ellie sitting down!

For you to get the concept behind said story, I simply have to say one word: sledding (or sledge if you're British). That's right, Thursday, January 18th, 2018 will go down in history as the very first time Ellie went sledding. 

With the weather being in the 40's and both Ellie and I suffering from yet another onslaught of cabin fever, the time was right for us to head outside and enjoy the last of the snow before it was gone. Of course, don't think for a moment that getting Ellie prepped to play in the snow by oneself is an easy task. For a good comparison, I liken it to Rocky training to fight Apollo Creed by trying to catch chickens.

First of all, one has to manage to catch/corner/corral the baby who is on the move constantly. Then, you must somehow figure out how to guide her legs inside of her snow pants. Realistically, you should get this on about the third try or you're doing something wrong. Once the snow pants are on, then it's time to add the boots. That being said, don't make the mistake of setting the baby down or she'll be gone again. After that, it's time to add the coat (which is relative child's play by this point), followed by the hat and gloves. Then it's time to play outside!

For me, playing outside with Ellie was self-serving. In my eyes, I could let her burn off some energy while I cleaned off our front steps and driveway after the last snow. After a few minutes of working with the snow shovel, it was clear Ellie wanted to be a part of anything and everything I was doing. With that information in hand, I chose to only clean the stairs and Bethany's side of the driveway before turning my attention to Ellie.

Following that, I made a beeline for the garage and grabbed both sleds that had been waiting inside for the perfect weather. I first chose to test out the Snowslider with Ellie. My thought was that I could easily sit Ellie down on the near 4 foot sled and pull it around the yard. Of course, there were two problems in doing so: If I trudged along too upright, Ellie would fall over backwards and if I bent over too much, my back would ache. See, it was a real Sophie's choice. Needless to say, after a few minutes of trying, I decided I had an unwinnable situation with the Snowslider.

So much speed...

It was then that I chose to turn to the classic round disc sled. There was still one problem though since I didn't have anything to pull it with. Therefore, I had to instead get down in the snow on my hands and knees and alternate pushing Ellie around the yard with spinning her around like a top. Finally after about ten minutes of playing on the sled, Ellie decided she had enough and retreated back inside the open garage door, calling it a day. Honestly, I wasn't too saddened by that decision as the wet knees of my jeans had begun to make my legs pretty cold.

I guess the moral of the story is that like an adult in the workplace, my child is capable of sitting still when the situation calls for it. And unlike said adult in the workplace, my child's ability to sit still is only for ten minutes at a time. That's a start though. #DaddyWrite

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