I had to discipline the baby today. You're probably slightly
curious what exactly Ellie did to deserve discipline. Well, don't think about
it too much because she totally deserved it and had it coming. That being said,
it still wasn't fun at all. Just so I don't leave you wallowing in anticipation
any longer, I'll go ahead and hop right to it.
Today started off basically like every other. Well, not
every other if I'm being totally honest. A 4:00 am wake-up call from Ellie is
not standard operating procedure. That tidbit isn't really integral to the
story though. What is important to the story is that everything else for the
morning went according to plan; Ellie ate her breakfast around 6:45 am and went
down for her nap around 7:15. See, nothing too out of the ordinary.
Once Ellie woke up from her morning nap during the 8:00 hour,
I promptly picked her up, gave her a hug, and set her down on the floor to
play. It didn't take long though for me to notice the stank emanating from within
Ellie's pajamas and for the accompanying gag reflex to kick in. That's right,
Ellie needed a diaper change! Just in case you're wondering, I am aware that I
have shared other diaper stories over the lifetime of #DaddyWrite. This one's
slightly different.
Just like every other diaper change, I laid Ellie down on
her changing table and unzipped her pajamas. Just as I suspected the diaper was
definitely soiled. Therefore, I removed her pajamas and set about diaper duty,
taking great precaution to lay out a fresh diaper and as many baby wipes as I
assume would be necessary. Then it's time to get to work.
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| Ellie's diaper changes can be such a dirty job, not even Mike Rowe would tackle it. |
I open up the diaper and use the minuscule piece of clean
diaper left to wipe remaining residue off of Ellie's skin before hitting it
with the wipe. Here's where things get rough. You see, Ellie has developed this
weird habit of trying to grab the used diaper's tabs while laying on the table.
In fact, that very action on Sunday night led to me getting my hand covered in
her poop. As you can guess, I was not stoked by that turn of events. Therefore,
each time I saw Ellie's hand inching close to the used diaper, I made certain
to slap it away. Once, twice, three times I followed through with slapping her
hand away.
Finally on the fourth time, I wasn't quite fast enough and
Ellie got a firm grasp on the diaper. It so happened that Ellie wasn't just
content to hold the diaper. She instead wanted to work on her lifelong ambition
of being a calf roper in the rodeo. She took the diaper and began whirling it
around over her head just as a cowboy would a lasso. Luckily, I got the diaper
away from her before its contents added some new colors to her pretty, green
walls.
Now, as you can probably guess, I was pretty much fuming
after this. Quickly cleaning Ellie's backside off, I then grabbed her legs and
raised them in the air, proceeding to give her three swift swats to her bare
butt. As Ellie has never been spanked before, she looked up at me, tears
beginning to stream from her big blue eyes. Her bottom lip began to quiver,
finally opening wide and letting out a primal scream. I wasn't really in the
mood so I quickly diapered Ellie, sat her down in the floor, and walked out of
her room to ours across the hall. Honestly, I was still mad at her despite the
spanking and needed a little time to calm down the rest of the way.
It didn't take long for Ellie to come wandering into our
bedroom. However, she didn't come alone. Instead she came, dragging her
borrowed copy of "10 Little Rubber Ducks". She would then stand up
next to our bed, holding the book aloft for me to take. If that wasn't enough
of a hint, she also audibly followed it up with a "Muh Uh" which is
Ellie's way of asking for something. As I looked at her, I realized I couldn't
stay mad at her. I picked my daughter up, plopped her on my lap, and proceeded
to read aloud to her.
I'm actually really glad for Ellie's desire to smooth things
over quickly. I had been feeling really, really bad about spanking her (I still
do). However, I know this won't be the last time she gets spanked. It also
makes you think a little. As Bethany eloquently stated, it gives us a little
hint as to how God feels when he has to punish us.
And well, if you didn't know, it pretty much stinks. Kind of like Ellie's diaper.
#DaddyWrite
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| If you need confirmation that all is well between Ellie and I, this photo from this afternoon should do the trick... |
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