Day 124 - Canine Primate Human?

One of the best parts of being the owner/operator/sole proprietor of a semi-daily blog catered towards stay-at-home dads is that I get to share all of my wisdom with the world.  And I don't just mean the wisdom that I gain from being a stay-at-home dad either.  No, no, no.  I mean all of my wisdom.  Sure, maybe that's cocky or confident to say.  But who else are you going to learn the important stuff from?  Like how some people in life lack the ability run a sub-eight minute mile.  Or how people may really like to have their head scratched to the point that their leg literally bounces.  Or how the "Puppy Monkey Baby" commercial from the 2016 Super Bowl is possibly the most divisive ever.  #WISDOM.  By the way, the answer to your question is yes; all of those things relate to me.  Not just to me, but Ellie as well!

Eventful times are afoot in the Holt household.  Or underfoot depending on how you want to view it.  As stated, I will probably never ever run a sub-eight minute mile and Ellie won't for at least a little bit longer.  That doesn't mean that she's precluded from getting where she wants to go right now.  That's right; Ellie is now mobile.  She's been inching ever so closer to crawling over the past week but today was really a breakthrough for her.  

Basically from the time she awoke from her morning nap, she was ready to go wherever her little body could take her.  The four corners of our living room, previously uncharted for Ellie, are all now mapped out.  From the shirt box filled with old wrapping paper and ribbon to the bookshelf with the radio to the basket of magazines on the floor by the couch, Ellie explored them all.  It used to be that if we wanted to keep Ellie out of something, we just needed to move it across the room.  That's not the case anymore.  At least the kitchen is still an Ellie-free zone at this time (She lacks the desire to crawl on hard floors).  

One of the major issues with Ellie being mobile is that the days of being able to temporarily leave her alone to play while being elsewhere in the house is over.  With our house featuring staircases, I really don't want to test Ellie's ability to fall down them.  Therefore, even the quickest little errand in our house requires the company of an Ellie.  And yes, that does include a quick restroom break.

For example, I just needed a quick bathroom break before we headed on a walk today (Don't be afraid; just a number one).  Therefore, I brought Ellie upstairs with me and sat her in the hallway with the door open (Yeah, that still bothers me too).  Pretty quickly, I glanced over and Ellie was down on all fours.  The entertaining part is that she continually attempted to work up the courage to cross the threshold into the bathroom.  As soon as one tiny finger would reach the tiled floor, she would pull it back to the carpet.  It was like she was engaged in her own personal game of "The Floor Is Lava".  

When you can't find the lava-related gif you want, you instead settle for 'Troy And Abed Shooting Lava!' 

While washing my hands (Yay for good hygiene), I glanced again and she had sidled up next to the door frame.  Then, she began rubbing her head against it.  As I looked down, I saw a look of sheer contentment spread across her face.  She clearly had found a way to itch the spot on her head in a way that her tiny arms and lack of vocabulary would not allow.  She then returned to a sit, cocked her head, and stared at me as if to say, "What? Don't you ever have an itch you can't reach?".  Maybe people aren't lying after all when they say the baby's just like me.

Aww, Babe (Pig in the City?) has an itch...

As crazy as the last couple of days have been, I know that it's going to get even more nuts as Ellie gains more confidence with her crawling ability.  Honestly, I found myself thinking on multiple occasions today that this must be what it's like to have a puppy.  And provided that she really does share her Bethany's toe dexterity (as my mother claims), then I'll know what it's like to have a "Puppy Monkey Baby" before too long.  Three awesome things combined indeed.  #DaddyWrite

Day 122 - "Quack, Quack"

Clothes can be tricky.  Not only for infants, but for adults as well.  Everyone's had that point in time when they've gone to the closet to grab their favorite shirt only to find that it doesn't fit.  It's a sad, sad day when that happens.  You find yourself mourning like you're watching an episode of 'This is Us'.  Then, you realize you have two options remaining.  Number one of course is to throw the shirt out.  Number two is get to the gym and lose the "dad-bod".  Or the problem is that you've lost too much weight and now all of your clothes look like you're dressing in a gunny sack.  At least that's what happened to me.  Unfortunately for Ellie, she seems destined to fight the same battle for a little while.

Allow me to set the scene.  I don't mean right this minute.  I'm talking last night around 6:30ish (Central).  That means that it's Ellie's favorite time of the day: bath time!  So of course, by this point in time, we have this process down to a science.  Step one is to run the water in the tub on the hottest setting until the water level is right around our knuckle.  Step two, plug in the small heater in the bathroom so that it's nice and warm in there for Ellie when she gets out.  Step three, place her bottle of lotion in front of the heater.  Then it's time to head to Ellie's room to retrieve her pajamas and sleep sack for post bath.

As you can see, there is a large amount of routine in this process.  Honestly, everything is planned out even down to what pajamas Ellie wears.  We have two or three pairs that we alternate between because we know that they fit Ellie perfectly.  Last night as Bethany opened the drawer (with Ellie in her arms) to grab the pajamas out, Ellie thrust her hand inside the drawer and grabbed the first pair that she saw.  Bethany pulled them away only for Ellie to see the hidden treasure buried beneath.  Her eyes widened, her mouth flew open in pure joy, and she stretched with all of her might.  All to grab the object of her desire; a pair of white pajamas emblazoned with little yellow duckies.  

Must reach duckie pajamas...

Given Ellie's palpable excitement for her duckie pajamas, Bethany just didn't have the heart to not let her wear them to bed.  I of course, was just laughing over Ellie's pure exuberance for them.  So with that, Ellie was undressed, "flew" down the hall with great nakedness, and splash landed right in the tub.  Once Ellie was fully washed, we took her out and wrapped her up in her hooded ducky towel to dry (nice bit of unintentional symmetry).  After that, it was time for a new diaper and some baby lotion.  

Finally, the moment had arrived for Ellie.  Bethany lifted her high into the air as I positioned the pajamas on the floor below her.  Laying her down on the floor, Bethany  maneuvered each of Ellie's limbs into their respective hole and began the process of buttoning the pajamas up.  This was more of an issue than you would think since these pajamas were big enough to fit two of Ellie (literally).  Button-by-button, Ellie shook with anticipation over her new pajamas (or her meal that was shortly to come).  Finally, Bethany folded the tall collar back into place to ensure our baby looked more like an Eleanor rather than an Elvis and the task was complete.  

To reiterate, Kid not King...

With that, I found myself wondering two things in particular.  Number one being "Is this only the first instance of Ellie obsessing over the perfect outfit?".  It's possible; I have seen her mother try on at least three outfits prior to going to work some mornings.  Or number two and probably more worrisome: "Is this the beginning of Ellie developing an unhealthy fascination with ducks?".  #DaddyWrite

Day 120 - Baby's First Fine Italian Cuisine

Whenever I sit down to work on #DaddyWrite, the very first thing that I want to do is come up with a hook.  You know, the sharp, pointy object used to catch fish?  The short punch used in boxing?  The thing that takes up residence on the left hand of Peter Pan's antagonist?  No, none of those are remotely accurate.  Something that attracts attention or serves as an enticement?  Hey, that's it.  **Sigh of relief**  I didn't think we were going to discover the correct meaning of 'hook'.  Oh yes, in case you're wondering, the purpose of that little tangent was solely meant to fill some space because I had no idea for how to begin this blog post (I could just dive into the meat of it, but like a singer needs to warm up her voice, I need to warm...up...my...fingers?).

The last couple of days have actually been really eventful for Ellie and me. While I actually hadn't set out to fill them, sometimes things happen.  There's nothing wrong with that though.  I knew Tuesday that our schedule would be a little full since I was meeting a buddy for a business lunch.  Wait, hold on.  Business lunch?  Ok, maybe I oversold that because there's no money involved; just a bunch of freelance writing.  I'll take it though.  Beggars can't be choosers.  Of course, as my partner-in-crime, Ellie was along for the ride!  And boy, did we ride.  

The Venn Diagram confirms it once and for all that beggars cannot be choosers.

After meeting John at a Dunkin' Donuts, we decided that the mature thing to do was to not eat our weight in donuts for lunch.  Taking that into account, I loaded Ellie back up and headed down the street to White Horse Pub for some quality Americanized British food.  Imagine our surprise when we arrived and the restaurant was closed on Tuesdays.  With no other recourse, we headed back to Dunkin' Donuts to eat our weight in tasty, doughy goodness.  Actually that's a lie.  We just went to Minsky's to get pizza instead.  Sorry.

It's actually a blast to take Ellie out to eat right now.  She's grown enough and has good enough control that she can sit upright in a restaurant's child seat with absolutely no issues.  Of course, the one downside of that is that she has a desire to try and dig her little meat hooks (Bah!) into everything on the table.  Knowing that was the case, I asked the nice staff at Minsky's for a package of crackers to feed Ellie.  Imagine my surprise when I instead received a breadstick for her. 

America.  Land of the free and home of the brave...breadstick.

Like any good dad, my first inclination was to just shove it in there and see what happened.  Needless to say, Ellie was not a fan of the combination of Italian seasoning and hard crust (Weird baby).  Taking that into account, I instead performed brief surgery, carefully scraping the crust from the top and bottom of the breadstick, leaving only the soft, doughy interior.  Luckily for me, Ellie found that flavor to be a better fit for her palate.  Before I knew it, I had fed her the entire breadstick and she was doing whatever the baby equivalent of rubbing her belly in satisfaction is.  Shortly thereafter, John and I finished our meals and parted ways.  

I'm absolutely in love with the fact that Ellie loves to be out and about so much right now.  I don't find myself checking my ankle to make sure I'm not on house arrest anymore.  The one negative is that if I'm spending so much time out and about, then all fourteen of my faithful readers will suffer from a less-than-compelling first paragraph.  It's just like fishing; sometimes you'll get hooked, other times you won't (#BadJoke).  #DaddyWrite

Day 119 - My Venn Diagram of Reasons to Make a Venn Diagram

I'm currently engaging in a very scientific study.  Hypothesis will be formulated.  Maybe I'll figure out some kind of super-scientific experiment that may or may not produce results.  Afterwards, I'll make myself a nice Venn diagram to compare and contrast things.  Oh wait, that one's not part of the scientific process.  That's more of an English class kind of thing I think although I might have used one in a math class once (I think the same math class where part of my grade was based on how well I drew a picture of Simba).  

I love that I just found the picture of Simba I worked from online...

Anyway, once all of that's done, then I'll figure out if my hypothesis was actually correct or if I need to start over at square one with a brand new hypothesis.  Oh yeah, you may want to know what my experiment is all about.  Simply put, I'm trying to figure out two things: if stubbornness and bullheadedness are the same thing and if they are indeed two separate things, then which is Ellie afflicted with.

A little context for your reading pleasure.  Ellie is in the midst of trying to learn to crawl.  If you're looking for a current grade on her progress, I'd probably give her a solid 'C'.  She can get herself up to her knees from basically any position with no problems (I haven't tested this while hanging her upside down and likely won't).  Where she  runs into difficulties is once she reaches her knees.  One of two things will happen.  Sometimes, she will end up moving backwards across the room in an attempt to go forwards.  The more likely scenario is that she rocks back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until dramatically falling flat on her face.  It's sad, but hey, that's life.

This may or may not have been my reaction at the end of a certain college class...

Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited for Ellie to learn to crawl.  I truly believe it's going to be fun to watch her explore all of her surroundings in a new fashion (even if it does mean we have to baby-proof).  It's hard to watch her go through the process of learning right now because she is her own worst enemy.  She will actually drive herself to tears when the frustration sets in as she's trying to learn.  What I've learned is that I have to step in and find some kind of distraction for her when I see that happening.

Today was no exception.  I first tried to distract her with various toys (and even the remote control which she's not supposed to have) but nothing would work.  She would continually flip back to her stomach, push up, and attempt to crawl.  Finally, I decided a change of scenery would do her well.  So, in what seems to be a once-a-month affair, I loaded her up in the car to head to the radio station to pick up a prize (Yay for free hockey tickets).  

The Idaho Steelheads?  Prestigious...

Very quickly on, I knew I had made the right decision.  As I drove across the Broadway Bridge, I heard the sound of sweet baby laughs.  I peeked in the rearview mirror to see her tossing her stuffed elephant, Evy, around her car seat with a huge smile on her face.  Even though the trip turned out to mostly be in vain (who closes a radio station on Presidents' Day anyway?), it was worth it to see Ellie in such a happy state instead of watching her struggle relentlessly.

The lone problem is that I find myself still trying to figure out if Ellie is stubborn, bullheaded, or some combination of the two.  I actually believe that the two might be the same thing, but seeing as how my Webster's Dictionary resides at my parents' house an hour away, I'll leave that fact finding mission for another day.  That and I'm fresh out of Venn Diagrams to boot.  #DaddyWrite

What could be the most scientifically accurate Venn Diagram of all time.