There are times when one has to be jealous of Ethan. Yes, he
has no ability to talk, read, or write. Yes, it's true he has no concept of how
to use a toilet or feed himself. He can't even sit upright on his own. However,
he's still got it made in a lot of ways. He can pretty much nap whenever he
wants. People are always ready to play with him and tell him how cute he is. He
gets all of the hugs he can handle. He also gets carried anywhere he wants to
go. Last but not least, he is loved by all and has no enemies. Actually, after
making it through today, I'm not so certain about that last one.
First of all, I feel compelled to share that this was not my
easiest day ever as a stay-at-home dad. In fact, just so you have a reference
for how I felt about the day as a whole, look at the Homeland Security Advisory
Scale and imagine me pointing to orange with a frown on my face. By the way,
don't take me using that as a reference to be inconsiderate. It was just a nice
way to get my point across.
 |
| I should actually install a Homeland Security Advisory Scale in my home as well. |
I left at 5:26 in the morning to head to the gym with Ethan
apparently deciding to start his day approximately five minutes later.
Therefore, by the time I got back home, he had already been up for nearly an
hour. If you don't know, Ethan being awake for an hour means that his mood can
turn on a dime. Lucky for us though, he was pretty content and stayed awake
until Bethany left at 7:00 for work. That's when I laid him down in his crib,
shut the door, and expected not to hear from him for a few hours.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case. One thing about
having a baby and a toddler is that the toddler seemingly takes it as a
personal challenge to wake the baby from any and every nap. At least that's how
things seem to be with Ellie from time-to-time. By the time Ethan had been
asleep an hour, she was running up and down the hall screaming in joy. Needless
to say, the baby woke up and could not be persuaded to go back to sleep even
though his nap is two or three times that length. It's ok though because that's
one of the risks you run as a parent of two. I also couldn't be too angry
because I knew we were only an hour or two away from the next nap.
Unfortunately for me, I was wrong and the next nap ended in the same dramatic
fashion.
At this point, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't irritated.
Actually 'irritated' isn't the proper word for what I was feeling. I was
instead feeling a mixture of emotions, ranging from anger all the way to
apathy. Regardless of my emotions, the next couple of hours moved fast as my
parents stopped in for a quick lunch. Once they took their leave around 1:00, I
successfully put both kids down leaving me absolutely ecstatic. However, that
wouldn't last.
Part of my duties as stay-at-home dad extraordinaire is to
make certain dinner is prepared most evenings when Bethany gets home from work.
The items on the menu on this occasion? Roast and homemade bread. Let me go
off-topic here and just spend some time thinking about the wonders that is
homemade bread. For my money, there is not much more pleasing in the world than
a nice, warm slice of homemade bread. That's especially true when it's straight
out of the bread machine. I'd be willing to bet there is no one in the world
that hates homemade bread. Or at least I would have said that before today.
You see, our bread machine has a slight shortcoming in its
construction. For some reason, when the time comes for it to turn on, it
radiates a loud, pulsating beep that rivals most alarm clocks. Unfortunately
there is no way to silence said beep until the bread machine decides it's done
making the noise. As the beep rang throughout the house, my nerves kicked in
and my body tensed up. Finally, as the final beep echoed, I exhaled and
listened for any signs of life from Ellie and Ethan. At first, there was
nothing. Then, with precise comic timing, Ethan's shrill screams radiated from
his bedroom leaving me with no alternative other than to rescue him from his
crib.
Oh, in case you're wondering, the length of his nap was a
paltry 30 minutes. In fact, Ethan would stay awake until almost 4:00 ensuring
that the only amount of time I had to myself the entire "working" day
was a grand total of 30 minutes. If that's not the textbook definition of
defeat, I don't know what is. #DaddyWrite
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