How do you wake up? Is it an alarm? Do you have a really
good internal clock? Is it due to Folgers in your cup? It is the best part of
waking up after all. My wake-up calls have certainly shifted as of late. It was
a very nice 5:15 alarm that I had even trained myself to beat on occasion.
However, lately that gentle alarm has been replaced by the not so gentle scream
of a baby.
For some inexplicable reason, some evil intentioned soul
must have told Ellie that the early bird gets the worm. Despite her not knowing
what a worm is, Ellie must have decided she needed to catch one as she has been
making a habit out of being awake every day between 5 and 5:30. As you can
probably guess, often times that will preclude me from getting my morning
work-out in. Of course, I make that decision on my own, willingly and possibly
begrudgingly. I just know me sitting up with Ellie is a good way to serve
Bethany. Normally, it doesn't end up being the end of the world but on this
day, it certainly felt like it.
On mornings such as these, I usually will head straight to
the fridge to get Ellie a nice glass of milk. I honestly do this for two
reasons. Number one being she's thirsty and number two being that it guarantees
quiet. However, today something terrible happened. I opened the refrigerator to
find no milk cup there. My initial thought was one of "Man, now I'm going
to have to scrub it out." Then, it shifted to "I wonder where it's
at." If only I had known how long that question would take me to answer.
Smart money said Ellie had drug off her cup and abandoned it
somewhere in the house. Therefore, after just giving Ellie her morning drink of
milk in her water glass, I set out upon a mission to find the missing cup.
Beginning in our upstairs living room, I began searching every nook and cranny
for the missing cup. Behind the curtains, behind/under the couch, in Ellie's
toybox. All would prove fruitless. Convinced I had one room checked off my
list, I then moved my search party to our downstairs living room and repeated
the process to no avail.
 |
| The search process would have gone much quicker had I possessed Jack Sparrow's magic compass... |
After this, I found myself not just wondering where the cup
was. No, I instead found myself descending into some kind of mad obsession. I
absolutely had to find the cup and
would leave no stone unturned. Starting in the kitchen where Ellie likes to
play, I began opening every cabinet door and removing the contents within. I
even checked in our locked cabinet under the sink because it clearly makes
sense Ellie could finagle the child lock open, place her cup inside, close the
door, and relock the cabinet. In case you're wondering, I didn't find the cup
there.
With no alternative, I then headed to our top floor and
began scouring the bedrooms for the cup. Under the bed, in hampers, my gym bag,
dresser drawers. Still no cup. Honestly, at this point, the only time in
parenthood I could remember feeling so defeated was when I lost one of Ellie's best-fitting socks when she was smaller. In case you're wondering, no, it never
did turn up.
It was then that my quest got really crazy. You see, I
proceeded to go back and check everything (yes, everything) I had just finished
checking. Still no avail. At this point, with frustration mounting, I randomly
decided to look in the garage. I walked out into the garage and turned on the
light to find Ellie's neon green cup staring me right in the face.
 |
| Ah-ha!!! |
While I was blaming my daughter the entire time, it so
happens I was the one at fault. When retrieving a pound of hamburger while
holding Ellie the night before, I guess I had taken her cup away and placed it
on top of the freezer to keep her from dropping it. Then, I proceeded to
completely forget about doing so.
While I could normally get the benefit of the doubt that
Ellie might be to blame, there was no doing so this time. My own incompetence
was on display for all to see in this instance. At least now I know where I'll
be searching the first time anything disappears in the future. I mean, the
freezer's the first place anyone looks for missing items, right? #DaddyWrite
 |
| Don't be scared, Folgers. I won't drink you. |
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