Once you become a parent, there is one thing that is
virtually guaranteed. Ok, that might be a exaggeration because lots of things
are guaranteed. Doctors visits, dirty diapers, late night feedings, early
morning feeding, random crying fits, and moderate amounts of snuggles. All of
those are guaranteed but they weren't the things I was talking about. No, I'm
instead talking about how everyone will attempt to find parts of yourself in
your child. It's true that some of those parts are likely people exaggerating
and seeing what they want to see. Unfortunately, there is one aspect from both
Bethany's and my childhood that is flaring up in Ellie.
I'm not going to sugarcoat this at all. Punishing Ellie has
now become a daily occurrence. Don't take that the wrong way. I'm not openly beating my child or anything like that. Please don't call CPS or Bethany'll be
really sad. Ellie is just a very strong-willed child. In fact, she absolutely
loves to get her way. Now, this cannot do or else Bethany and I will be
fighting this fight for quite some time. Therefore, punishment has been in
order to try and mold Ellie into a semi-respectable human being. Remember that
I'm spending the most time with Ellie. That's the reason why the goal is simply
semi-respectable.
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| You know what's semi-respectable? Me looking up the definition of "semi-respectable" |
I know that you're asking, "How do you punish a
baby?". Well, sit right back and you'll hear a tale. Sorry about that, I
just gave into the urge to "sing" the opening to Gilligan's Island.
The biggest form of punishment to use against Ellie has been slapping her on
the wrist. I know the term, "slap on the wrist" is viewed as
something that could be much worse. That doesn't mean I'm enjoying doing so to
my daughter.
The truth is that she normally deserves it. For example, she
has an unhealthy fascination with trying to play with or in our toilets. That's
not something we really want her to be doing. Especially given how long it's
been since I cleaned them. Therefore, any time she gets into anything she
shouldn't be in, she gets her wrist slapped multiple times. It's not hard
enough to cause lasting damage but hard enough for her to get the message.
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| This gif is so much funnier if you sing M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This". |
I wish I could say that's the only form of punishment I use
against Ellie. Physical can only get you so far. Sometimes, I have to resort to
mental/emotional punishment. Wow, I just feel bad about myself typing that
sentence. For example, Ellie is generally a good eater but there are times when
her pickiness takes over and she shows a total unwillingness to eat anything
for me that isn't meat or bread. I used to just give into Ellie during these
times, but no longer.
Today during lunch, I had a plate of leftover roast,
potatoes, and avocado pieces prepared for Ellie. If she was successful in
polishing that all off, then she would get some fresh strawberries for dessert.
That's the deal. Keep in mind, I have to be careful with the order in which I'm
feeding her. If I give her just meat at the beginning, then she'll refuse to
eat her vegetables. If I don't mix in something she likes in between bites of
things she doesn't like, then she'll never get a complete meal.
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| Now, that's a complete meal. Except I don't really like nachos. That's problematic. |
As I sat Ellie down for her lunch today, I made a slight
mistake. I immediately sliced off a piece of roast and offered it to my
daughter. She munched it down quickly before opening up her mouth for the next
bite. With the next bite, I gave her avocado which she ate, just with slightly
less gusto than before. With the third bite, in came a mix of potato and
avocado. To this, Ellie spat out the food onto her tray and looked at me with a
mixture of confusion and sadness. I scooped up the food and offered it to Ellie
again only to be met with a response of tears and screaming.
Per my new protocol, whenever Ellie erupts in this fashion
while eating, recourse is swift. Simply put, she is immediately removed from
her high chair and doesn't get to eat anything for 15 to 20 minutes. Not only
does this give her time to calm down, but she also gets time to
"think" about her actions. I'm not certain how much time she spends
doing said "thinking" but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing
something. Once sufficient time had passed, Ellie went back into her high chair
and actually ate everything on her plate without complaining. In addition, she
got her strawberries as promised because I'm a big pushover.
If I didn't say I'm scared for the years ahead, I'd be lying.
I've heard a multitude of horror stories about my mother having to physically
restrain me in time out or Bethany being spanked with an old PVC pipe so it
makes me wonder what awaits us with Ellie. At least we're trying to discipline
her early and not give her full run of the house. That counts for something
right? #DaddyWrite
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