Like anyone who claims (possibly erroneously) to be a
writer, it's totally normal to find oneself suffering from some form of
writer's block. For me, it stems from one of two reasons. One possibility is
that I literally have no ideas whatsoever.
A good analogy would be my head is an Easter Egg and the empty air
inside is symbolic of my brain: not a single idea to be found. The other reason
is that I have ideas but have no idea how to put them down on paper (or
computer) in a legible or cohesive manner. I feel like I don't run into that
issue when doing #DaddyWrite, but it does rear its ugly head in other creative
endeavors.
Lucky for me, today is the exact opposite as I find myself
with two ideas that I'd be excited to write about. Sometimes, I'm able to
seamlessly tie two nonrelated topics together (debatable). Or, I attempt it and
fail miserably (more likely). Other times, I don't do so because I don't want
to subject my 21 faithful readers to the 800-plus words it would take me to tie
the topics together. This is one of those times where I don't want to subject
readers to 800-plus words. That, and well, I'm lazy. So, with great excitement
and fanfare, I proudly present to you, ONE TOPIC! (Side note, if I ever start a
band, One Topic will be the name so
please don't steal it.)
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| Dibs on the cowbell... |
It's a total given that one of Ellie's favorite times each
day is bath time. She's such a fan that the very second she hears the faucet
turn and the water pour out, she crawls at warp speed towards the
stairs and flies up them in a flash. Before you know it, she's in the
bathroom standing at the tub next to you and pushing each of her toys into the
water, one at a time. Finally, she'll begin trying to hoist herself over the
edge of the tub with all of her might. This pretty much continues until the
second you pick her up and take her to her bedroom to undress her.
Normally, bathtime doesn't change much from night-to-night.
Undress the baby, run down the hall with the baby screaming "Naked
Baby!", drop gently place the baby in the bath, bathe the baby, dry
the baby, diaper the baby, clothe the baby, and finally put the baby to bed.
Tonight was one of those nights that things didn't go according to plan.
I was in our basement at the time (wrapping up straps for
our hammock if you care) so all of this information comes to you secondhand.
Therefore, I cannot be held accountable for its accuracy. Ellie apparently took
great joy in her nightly game of "Naked Baby". So much joy that
Bethany felt a creeping warmness coating her feet and lower legs. Not just her
feet and lower legs, but the bathroom floor was enjoying the same warmness as
well. That's right, Ellie had peed all over my wife and the bathroom floor to
boot! If that occurred in the tub, then that's one thing. Still kind of gross, but not a big deal.
It was then that the panicked cries of my wife drew me
upstairs from the basement. With a baby in the bathtub and her own feet (and
the floor) covered in urine, she was stricken helpless by the turn of events.
Thus, as the conquering hero I envision myself to be, I stride into the
bathroom with my chest puffed out. I kneel to the floor and in one swift
motion, remove a single baby wipe from the package. I swipe the wipe back and forth across the
floor until all is gone. Then, I clean Bethany's feet with the
same swift motion. Finally, I wet down our disinfecting cloth (with water) and
let it fly back and forth across the floor, killing 99.9% of all germs in its
midst.
At this point, I stand up proudly in my best Captain America heroic pose. I look down at my wife flashing a winning smile and make a
heroic declaration before exiting the room. "Bethany, my work is done here. By
the way, this is going in today's blog. Hope you don't mind." #DaddyWrite
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| Hey, don't judge me. If Bethany gets to be Supergirl, then I can surely be Captain America. |
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