Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Day 195 - Discipling Daughters, Vol. I



Once you become a parent, there is one thing that is virtually guaranteed. Ok, that might be a exaggeration because lots of things are guaranteed. Doctors visits, dirty diapers, late night feedings, early morning feeding, random crying fits, and moderate amounts of snuggles. All of those are guaranteed but they weren't the things I was talking about. No, I'm instead talking about how everyone will attempt to find parts of yourself in your child. It's true that some of those parts are likely people exaggerating and seeing what they want to see. Unfortunately, there is one aspect from both Bethany's and my childhood that is flaring up in Ellie. 

I'm not going to sugarcoat this at all. Punishing Ellie has now become a daily occurrence. Don't take that the wrong way. I'm not openly beating my child or anything like that. Please don't call CPS or Bethany'll be really sad. Ellie is just a very strong-willed child. In fact, she absolutely loves to get her way. Now, this cannot do or else Bethany and I will be fighting this fight for quite some time. Therefore, punishment has been in order to try and mold Ellie into a semi-respectable human being. Remember that I'm spending the most time with Ellie. That's the reason why the goal is simply semi-respectable.

 You know what's semi-respectable? Me looking up the definition of "semi-respectable"

I know that you're asking, "How do you punish a baby?". Well, sit right back and you'll hear a tale. Sorry about that, I just gave into the urge to "sing" the opening to Gilligan's Island. The biggest form of punishment to use against Ellie has been slapping her on the wrist. I know the term, "slap on the wrist" is viewed as something that could be much worse. That doesn't mean I'm enjoying doing so to my daughter. 

The truth is that she normally deserves it. For example, she has an unhealthy fascination with trying to play with or in our toilets. That's not something we really want her to be doing. Especially given how long it's been since I cleaned them. Therefore, any time she gets into anything she shouldn't be in, she gets her wrist slapped multiple times. It's not hard enough to cause lasting damage but hard enough for her to get the message.

This gif is so much funnier if you sing M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This".

I wish I could say that's the only form of punishment I use against Ellie. Physical can only get you so far. Sometimes, I have to resort to mental/emotional punishment. Wow, I just feel bad about myself typing that sentence. For example, Ellie is generally a good eater but there are times when her pickiness takes over and she shows a total unwillingness to eat anything for me that isn't meat or bread. I used to just give into Ellie during these times, but no longer.

Today during lunch, I had a plate of leftover roast, potatoes, and avocado pieces prepared for Ellie. If she was successful in polishing that all off, then she would get some fresh strawberries for dessert. That's the deal. Keep in mind, I have to be careful with the order in which I'm feeding her. If I give her just meat at the beginning, then she'll refuse to eat her vegetables. If I don't mix in something she likes in between bites of things she doesn't like, then she'll never get a complete meal. 

Now, that's a complete meal. Except I don't really like nachos. That's problematic.

As I sat Ellie down for her lunch today, I made a slight mistake. I immediately sliced off a piece of roast and offered it to my daughter. She munched it down quickly before opening up her mouth for the next bite. With the next bite, I gave her avocado which she ate, just with slightly less gusto than before. With the third bite, in came a mix of potato and avocado. To this, Ellie spat out the food onto her tray and looked at me with a mixture of confusion and sadness. I scooped up the food and offered it to Ellie again only to be met with a response of tears and screaming.

Per my new protocol, whenever Ellie erupts in this fashion while eating, recourse is swift. Simply put, she is immediately removed from her high chair and doesn't get to eat anything for 15 to 20 minutes. Not only does this give her time to calm down, but she also gets time to "think" about her actions. I'm not certain how much time she spends doing said "thinking" but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing something. Once sufficient time had passed, Ellie went back into her high chair and actually ate everything on her plate without complaining. In addition, she got her strawberries as promised because I'm a big pushover.


If I didn't say I'm scared for the years ahead, I'd be lying. I've heard a multitude of horror stories about my mother having to physically restrain me in time out or Bethany being spanked with an old PVC pipe so it makes me wonder what awaits us with Ellie. At least we're trying to discipline her early and not give her full run of the house. That counts for something right? #DaddyWrite


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