Day 74 - We're talking about feet here...

I've always been one to dislike silence.  Perhaps I should rephrase that.  If I have a pounding headache or am taking a nap, then OK, silence is good.  The rest of the time, I prefer there to be some semblance of noise about.   One of the problems with being a stay-at-home dad is that it actually really quiet most of the time.  Like creepily quiet.  Like "the scenes in horror movies right before someone is going to die" kind of quiet (Did I remember to lock the doors today?).  For the most part, I've had to rely on a television or a radio running in the background just to give me some white noise.  Or I've just sat around singing to myself, or Ellie if she's awake.  However, I don't really have to do that anymore.

Go take a bite out of crime somewhere else, McGruff!

While Ellie's been able to make noises for quite some time, it's normally been limited to variations of cries, screams, and the occasional cute baby noise.  She's recently begun to diversify her sounds a lot more.  In fact, if she knows for a fact you're talking to her, she will actually fill any pauses in the conversation with replies.  Or even yelp like a dog during the barking parts of 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'.  For example...

While it's really fun that she's reached this stage, I think there is definitely a part of her that wishes she could communicate more effectively.  She will generally only reply like this for brief periods of time before her frustrations set in because, well, because I have no idea what she's saying.  I know though that in time, she's going to learn to speak in real words and sentences.  Then if she's anything like her dad, she really never will shut up.  And only about 23% of what she says will be worthwhile.  In case you're wondering, that number was calculated using very, very scientific methods.

Fortunately for us, during those times when quiet is preferred, Ellie has a foolproof method of ensuring that is what occurs.  What is that method you ask?  It's putting her foot in her mouth.  Literally putting her foot in her mouth.  Over the past couple of weeks, anytime we set Ellie down on her changing table, she immediately begins stretching her arms towards her feet with all of her might.  Luckily for her, her legs are really long so she has the ability to bring her feet to her hands.  During the average diaper change, I probably take her feet out of her hands at least four times.  Wait, maybe I should double check that...

• ·         Once to take off her pants and socks
• ·         Once to remove the diaper
• ·         Once to replace the diaper
• ·         Once to put her pants and socks back on

Ok, I had it correct.  I didn't want to lie; that's not kosher.  While the foot game has been entertaining, it reached a new level today  as I was actually having to remove her foot from her mouth for the first time ever.  Props to her for having that kind of flexibility though.  I remember always feeling really lame when I was younger because I wasn't as flexible as the other kids in P.E.  I could barely touch my feet with my arms fully extended without my knees bending under the strain.  Ellie won't have to live with that shame though.  As long as she keeps practicing putting her feet in her own mouth, she'll never be a pariah in gym class and she won't want to quit exercising.  And isn't that what's best for her in the long run?  #DaddyWrite

Note to self, don't let Ellie take life lessons from 'Friends'.

Day 73 - Holiday Decorating for Infants 101

Um, sorry.  Not for accidently referring to Captain Picard as Captain Kirk.  Although, it was interesting to hear from multiple outlets that I needed to expand my Star Trek knowledge.  I'm actually more sorry about the minor lie that I may have told you yesterday.  I said that I was going to try to write about things pertaining to my days alone with Ellie.  However, sometimes there are just more impressive stories to write about after Bethany gets home or on a weekend.  Thus is the case today.  So please settle in, buckle your seatbelts, and read aloud as Ellie...discovers...Christmas.  

Captain's horse...Star Date...sometime.

I admit that there may have been a bit of excessive excitement on my part but I really can't help it.  One of my favorite things of late is seeing how Ellie reacts to new situations.  I'm relatively certain that each day is new and exciting for her in some way.  So of course, I'm striving to come up with ways to continually introduce her to something new each and every day.  For example, I actually had Ellie sit and watch as I cleaned out the refrigerator.  She was plenty fascinated with it between me holding her up and letting her watch for a bit and also me showing her each thing I pulled out and explaining what it was as I set it on the counter.  While there's clearly a ton of excitement in me pulling out a carton of eggs and having the existential question of "What came first? The chicken or the egg?" with my five month old, luckily there are things in her world more eventful than that.

Last night as Bethany arrived home from work, we decided that since it was now December, it was finally fair game to decorate from Christmas.  I say 'finally' because I view anytime after Halloween as being fair game.  I just love the Christmas season so much.  Between the music, the lights, and the cookies, it really is the most wonderful time of the year (See what I did there?).  As is the case each year, step one in decorating for Christmas involves setting up the tree.  After I retrieved the tree from storage in our subbasement, Ellie watched on in fascination as we assembled the tree, piece by piece.  Once the tree was assembled, Bethany removed the lights from the box and plugged them into the wall to test.  Ellie's jaw dropped as she gazed at the multi-colored strands.  Red, green, blue, yellow, and pink specks reflecting in her eyes.  Her hands grasping at the strands and putting them to her lips, only for them to be removed time and time again by Bethany.

Once the lights were wrapped, it was time to hang ornaments.  Since Bethany and I got married, one of our traditions each year has been to purchase a Hallmark Keepsake ornament representing a big event for the year (Before you ask; No, Bethany did not let me get a Salvador Perez ornament in 2015).  As we removed each ornament from its own box in order of years, we explained to Ellie aloud the significance of each one.  After the last of our ornaments were added to the tree, I remember that my mother had purchased one for Ellie in honor of her first Christmas.  Picking Ellie up from her seated position on the floor, I placed the ornament in her tiny hand and directed it towards an open branch on the tree.  Ellie's reaction was to direct the ornament instead towards her mouth.  The third try would finally be the charm as Ellie was able to help place her first ornament on the tree.

"Hey Dad, I was going to eat that!"

With this, we would turn off all of the lights in our living room and just gaze at our Christmas tree illuminating the otherwise dark room.  Looking at Ellie, we could see the excitement and joy on her face as she was mesmerized by the lights.  It really made me think a little about the simple things of the season and how I should strive to see things through Ellie's eyes more often.  #DaddyWrite

Day 72 - Ready, Set, Go...away.

So, I know that the whole concept of #DaddyWrite is that Ellie's the star and I am a simple co-pilot along for the ride.  Realistically no one cares what I have to say about myself, right?  It's all about the cute baby and her experiences being taken care of by me while her mommy is away at work each day.  #MissingMommy?  Well, there are times when I am going to veer slightly off target and away from that mission statement.  Why, you may ask?  Well, because part of being a dad, a stay-at-home dad to boot, is to basically keep yourself mentally healthy by any means necessary.  To me, that means making sure I'm staying engaged with my daughter which normally results in me saying (or singing) a lot of silly things to her.  Still, there are times when being at home all day (every day) with a baby can be a bit much.  Those are the times when baby-free adventures are required.  Luckily for me, Bethany and I had the opportunity to take part in one such baby-free adventure this weekend.

Seems clear to me.

On Friday evening, Bethany's work hosted their annual Christmas party extravaganza.  I'm talking fancy meal, dancing, dress clothes (suit and tie even), the whole nine yards.  Now, if you know me well at all, it is extremely unlikely that I'm ever sporting anything other than a t-shirt and jeans.  Ok, I may occasionally bust out a button-up shirt for church but that's about it.  So you know it's a nice shin-dig if I'm dressing up is the point that I'm trying to make here.  Now, you're probably thinking, "Uh, what'd you do with the baby?".  Well, simple.  We called in reinforcements in the form of our friends, Tabi and Malachi, to be on baby duty for the night.  See, simple solution for everyone.  :)  

So, after Bethany and I were dressed and ready to go, we hopped in the car, and headed downtown.  This even had always been held at the Sheraton Hotel in the past but was being held in a new location this year; the Midland Theater.  Not a movie theater, but a fancy-to-do concert hall.  I'm talking busts of angels and gargoyles everywhere.  Fancy ceilings with Cistine Chapel-like paintings (including one that looks an awful lot like one angel backhanding another angel).  To put it simply, ornate across the board.  When we arrived, the first thing we do is get our formal picture taken in front of the golden rain background by the nice man in the red blazer.  Of course, I will "Earl Hickey" (the act of closing my eyes) in pictures from time-to-time, so the poor guy had to take seven shots.  Perhaps, the company was paying him per picture.  I don't know.  

Random tidbit...this is a tribute to 'Forrest Gump'

Following that, we headed inside of meet up at a table with some of Bethany's work friends.  Now, I actually always enjoy these events.  Not only do I get a chance to spend time with some of my wife's close friends (I like them as well), but we get a good meal to boot.  Prime rib, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad.  All tasty.  Now, the music for the evening was to be provided by the group ranked as the #1 wedding band in the city by Yelp.  Needless to say, expectations were high.  By the time the group finished their first song, I came to a two-pronged realization.  Number one, KC must not have very many wedding bands if this one was the best.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that they permanently ruined 'ABC' by the Jackson Five for me.  Number two, I really should have brought my ear plugs because the volume was turned so loud I thought my ears would never cease ringing (Get off my lawn?).  Side note, I don't actually know the name of this band so I'm just going to call them, um, call them 'The Rowdy Burns Experience' (If you get that reference, please let me know because you're officially awesome).  

Don't worry Adam. You're still the greatest wedding singer ever.

After four hours of fun, we were officially ready to get home and check on our baby.  Of course, she couldn't have been in better hands.  Tabi and Malachi had held her, played with her, and watched 'Star Trek' with her until she fell asleep.  Bethany and I were officially thankful for having such close friends that we could ask them to watch our baby (and our Netflix) without even feeling guilty about it.  Sometimes, a night out is all you need to just refresh, recharge, and get ready for another week of child rearing activities.  #DaddyWrite

See, even Capt. Kirk needs some time sans baby.

Day 70 - Which hour is "The Witching Hour" again?

During the course of this parenting experience, one thing has become painfully clear.  In the immortal words of Joe Dirt, "I'm new. I don't know what to do."  So therefore, I've had to swallow my pride and not be afraid to ask people.  That's the good thing about being a first time dad in my thirties; there are plenty of people who have already screwed up one child, or maybe even two, that I can ask for help.  One of my favorite parenting theories has got to be "the witching hour".  To describe it, it means that there is a time of the day for each child where they go from being a total sweetheart to essentially being a flying monkey from 'The Wizard of Oz'.  In other words, no one likes them and you're likely afraid of them.  Unfortunately, Ellie has gotten on a kick of extending "the witching hour" from a relatively short period of time to an all-day escapade.

Her dislike of the eight o'clock hour has become well documented over the past few weeks.  It used to be that I could lull her back to sleep by simply hitting the music button on her swing and plugging a pacifier into her mouth.  No longer is that the case.  Her new trick is actually sitting up in her swing to stare at me as I come near.  Whereas I hear a peaceful, soothing lullabye, she hears that Arabian snake charmer song (I literally don't know what else to call this song) and is immediately overcome with a desire to sit up.  Today was a rarity in the fact that I chose not to fight for the morning nap and instead allowed her to get up and play.  To paraphrase G.O.B. Bluth, I made a huge mistake.

The problem is that instead of making her remain in a position for sleep, I instead allowed her to exit that mindset too early.  Therefore, the baby adrenaline kicked in and there was no chance of sleep to be had for the morning.  Luckily, Ellie was still on her schedule for feedings so I didn't have to fear running out of milk for her.  Since she was wide awake, I chose to toss her in the car seat and go out and run a couple of errands.  Side note, she looked really cute and innocent wearing a stocking hat for the first time, so there's that.  When we got back home, I knew she was tired but she was continuing to fight sleep at all costs.  I finally had to resort to putting her on the bed and laying down beside her for her to finally sleep.  Unfortunately, that nap would only last for a whole 24 minutes bringing her total nap time for the day to approximately an hour and a half.

I think the crux of the issue continues to be that Ellie is teething.  Obviously I don't remember that feeling so I can't really identify with what she's going through.  All that I can do is attempt to console her and distract her using any means necessary.  And those means are continually diversifying.  There's the ever popular take her for a drive method.  There's the bouncing on the exercise ball.  Don't forget about giving her a toy.  The girl does love her toys!  Especially Leon.  #DaddyWrite