Remember that opening hook from yesterday about me being
more of a warden or police officer than a parent at times? Well, after a little
bit of thinking on my part, police officer may very well be the most apt
descriptor I can use for my "job" right now.
To any of my friends that serve in law enforcement, I want
to mention that I mean absolutely no disrespect. After all, most of my opinions
about the boys in blue have been molded from that time I got a speeding ticket
and repeated viewings of the 'Lethal Weapon' quadrilogy.
Quick question: do you think Wikipedia or the 'Lethal
Weapon' films would provide a more accurate representation of police life? My
vote's for Wikipedia but not by much. I think it mostly comes down to the fact
that cops don't look like Mel Gibson in real life.
Let's get back to my initial point of "being" a
police officer at home. While I've always spent a lot of time chasing Ellie
around the house and keeping her out of trouble, that role is now even more
necessary with Ethan crawling around and getting into all kinds of mischief. It's
that very penchant for mischief that brings us to the second of Ethan's threefold
problems with me. What is that problem? I just won't let him have any fun.
For example, one of Ethan's most mesmerizing nuisances is
also one that he should not play with under any circumstances: the surge bar
for our TV. I understand why it's tempting for him. Not only is there a row of
plugs just waiting to be grabbed and pulled, but there is a chain of three
bright green lights illuminating at all times. If he's left to his own devices
in our family room, it's only a matter of time before Ethan makes a break for
it. Then, I find myself (normally at the last minute because I'm lazy) having
to "enforce the law" as I pull my son away from the object of his
desire.
I don't try to be all lame. In fact, I feel like Ethan and I
have lots of fun together. We spent quite a bit of our day playing with various
toys and wrestling with each other (as much as one can wrestle with a
six-month-old). There is one game though that Ethan has very much embraced that
allows me to get in touch with my "police officer" side. That game?
The time honored activity of chase the baby. The rules of chase the baby are quite simple. In fact, there
is but one rule: you CHASE the baby.
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| "Wait, is it time to play chase the baby?" |
Oddly enough, there is only one place in our home where this activity takes
place: the upstairs hallway. All it takes to initiate a round of chase the baby
is to lift Ethan to the top of the stairs and sit him down on the ground. He'll
then immediately assume the crawling stance and take off down the hallway.
Now, I realize that it may sound like chase the baby is only
fun for Ethan. However, that is far, far from the truth. As soon as he realizes
I'm in hot pursuit, Ethan will begin laughing hysterically as he crawls down
the hall. Anytime I get too close, the laughs intensify in both volume and
frequency. You may be wondering how long a game like this can last for him. The
truth is that we haven't figured out that answer yet. Normally we get tired and
end the game long before Ethan's stamina expires.
The good thing about chase the baby is that I know Ethan
could dominate one of those baby-racing contests that NBA teams often hold at
halftime. Of course, there is a slight issue with the fact that Bethany or I
would be crawling behind him in front of at least 25,000 people. That might be
slightly embarrassing to have on YouTube for all time, right? #DaddyWrite
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| Let's be honest. Ethan would probably just sit there and do this. |
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