"Life moves
pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss
it."
That quote, by one of the great philosophers of the 20th
century, really never ceases to be true. In fact, I think I may be living that
quote during this stage of my life. Take the following story for example.
Last night as Bethany and I were hanging out after Ellie had
gone to sleep, Bethany looked at me and asked if I realized that very day was
one year exactly of me staying home with Ellie. Of course, I'm sure it's no
shocker to anyone that I had no idea that was the case.
Now, as I sit and think about that a little bit, I realize
there is an importance of me taking stock of everything that happened so far. I
could always go back and reread every prior blog post. However, that's 155
posts covering 240 days, an average of 600 words per post, and that equals...(grabbing
calculator)...that equals approximately 93,000 words.
That could probably be read in an afternoon, but I'm not going
to go that route. Instead, I'm choosing
to draw back on my seven years of business experience and go with
another time tested method: the annual performance review. Now, most
performance reviews are conducted by a manager and then shared with you. That's
a little hard for me as the closest thing I have to a manager currently is
Ellie. Honestly, I'm not exactly certain how much I can trust her expert opinion
on the matter either. As a result, I guess I'll just have to do it myself.
The rules in play? Well, similar to 'Who's Line is It
Anyway?', everything's made up and the points don't matter. I'll be grading
myself on parenting acumen, fun, and temperament. Honestly, I could probably
grade myself on some other criteria as well, but I'm just not apt enough to
think of anything else.
Starting with parenting acumen, I would have to give myself
4.25 stars. When I began the whole parenting thing, I was pretty much in over
my head. I had to learn the basic stuff such as changing and feeding Ellie. I
mean, that stuff was relatively easy. Much more difficult was learning Ellie's
tells. For a while, it was really hard for me to figure exactly what Ellie was
wanting at times. Eventually I figured it out, you know, just in time for the
rules to change.
Honestly, it feels like every time I'm feeling good about my
Ellie-related knowledge, she starts doing something new. First it was crawling,
now it's walking. Also, the fact that I laugh every time Ellie falls flat on
her face attempting to walk should probably be a strike in the parenting
department.
On fun, I give myself two enthusiastic thumbs up. I feel
like Ellie and I really do have a lot of fun together. Relatively few days go
by without photographic evidence of that via selfie. Sometimes its trips to the
zoo or park. Other times, it's just a relaxing day around the house which is
still filled with play.
For the first several months of her life, I was convinced
Ellie didn't enjoy being around me. Maybe that was the case at that time, but I
don't believe that's the case today. She gets so excited to see me anytime I've
been away from home that I know she actually does love me. Therefore, I guess
we do have at least a little fun together.
If I'm being honest, temperament is probably where I fail
the most in my performance review. Sure, I can be pretty happy-go-lucky most of
the time. However, there are those times when I get really frustrated with
Ellie. The first few months at home with Ellie were filled with days of me
screaming into a pillow out of pure frustration. There were also plenty of
panicked phone calls to Bethany so that she could talk me off the metaphorical
ledge.
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| "Real life" video of me becoming angry with Ellie... |
Things are definitely better now although I still do get
irritated with Ellie at times and probably express it vocally in a less than
desirable manner. That being said, I'm giving myself a 78% on a scale of 100. Since
it's a C, I won't need to repeat the class. Although I should really hope to
improve my grade in Parenting 201.
So there you have it, my first annual parenting performance
review. I feel like I may have been hard on myself at times, but honesty is the
best policy. 4.25 stars, two enthusiastic thumbs up, and a 78%; not terrible
scores but not the best I can do. I'll definitely look to make the honor roll
moving forward.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. That great 20th century philosopher
I spoke of? Ferris Bueller. Wise man, that Ferris. #DaddyWrite
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| More great words from Mr. Bueller... |
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