Day 595 - Eyes Wide Open

Ok, I have a challenge for all of you, dear readers. Look at the picture of a really cute baby and let me know what the very first thing you notice is. Oh, don't worry, I'll wait.

No, I'm not referring to the fact that Ethan is laying on one of Ellie's pink quilts. Don't judge me; it was downstairs and easily accessible at the time. Try again. Sorry, I am not referring to the epic smile plastered across the little man's face either. It is a pretty epic smile though, right? 

For the interest of time (and word count), I'll go ahead and tell you what the right answer is. It's the eyes. Big, blue, and shining. What's interesting about that picture is the fact that it is physically possible for Ethan to have his eyes open wider than that. For the record, it's possible for both Ethan and Ellie to open their eyes a little too much. I'll explain.

As Ethan is getting older, there is added importance on interacting with him more. Honestly, this is something I'm still trying to figure out. Number one, I struggle with interacting with infants as I somewhat view them as a new decoration or adornment. Don't get me wrong as I definitely love my son (and Ellie at that age). I just struggle with relating.

Lucky for me, my wife is the opposite. She was seemingly born with an innate sense of how to care for our kids. Either that or she is not shy about searching for tips from friends, books, or the internet. That leads us to today's activity with Ethan. 

During a text conversation with Bethany, she informed me that Ethan was at an age where he would absolutely love being flown around like an airplane. Of course, like any veteran father, I needed to ask for exact details of how to do so. Once I had the details in hand, I took Ethan, well, I took him in my hand and proceeded to fly him around the kitchen and living room. With every dip or rise in the flight pattern, I saw my son's eyes widen to the point where the whites covered more visible surface area than the blue.

Of course, none of this could be done without Ellie following along in my every footstep. That brings me to my next point pertaining to eyes widening. In this instance, when one's eyes are larger than one's stomach.

Simply put, Ellie loves to eat. I'm rather hopeful this will lead her down the road to a Bobby Flay-esque career. At bare minimum, I'm hopeful she will take over cooking for holidays in the future. More likely, it just means she's growing and needs the added nutrition.

Lunch today began with Ellie partaking in a hearty helping of Taco Pie. This delicacy has everything a growing girl needs to fill her up: cornbread, taco meat, cheese, and salsa. Once she got about 3/4 of the way through her meal, Ellie stopped, turned to me, and announced, "I would like an apple, please." Now, I'm definitely not going to turn down that level of politeness so therefore, I went to slice her an apple.

Once I brought it to the table, Ellie happily chomped down on the first slice, polishing it off rather quickly. She then started on the second slice. After taking a massive first bite, she swallowed, looked at me and announced, "I'm full." Like Ethan on his plane ride, Ellie too suffered from a case of widened eyes. The only difference was that while Ethan's eyes were wide because of his experience, Ellie's were wide due to the promise of unnecessary food.

There is a positive to take away from this though. At least Ellie's afternoon snack is already sliced up and ready to go. Yay for unintentional snack pre-preparation. #DaddyWrite

Day 592 - Back to the Grind.

"Ok, there must be a Delorean somewhere around here. That's the only possible way twelve weeks have already passed by."

If you didn't already infer it from that statement, today marked the end of Bethany's twelve-week maternity leave. It's absolutely crazy to think about her already being back at work for multiple reasons. First of all, I feel like there should be no way that Ethan has already turned twelve weeks old. Secondly (and more importantly), is it really already time for me to be solely responsible for two human lives in addition to my own? That can't be a good idea.

This morning was actually kind of heartbreaking to watch unfold if for no other reason that I once again had to wake up at 5:15 to go to the gym instead of waiting around home and going at 8:00. For the record, I'm joking with that last statement. Instead, it was heartbreaking to watch Bethany have to bid adieu to her kids for the first time in twelve weeks knowing that she'll be gone for the entire day. For Ethan, it was a fairly easy experience. Bethany hugged him tightly, enjoying every last snuggle, until the time came for her to hand him to me. With Ellie, the story was slightly different.

Here's a good place for me to remind you that Bethany heads out the door at 7:00 am to head to work. Generally there's not much that will change that time one way or the other. Today I was wondering if that would change as 6:50 hit and Ellie was still fast asleep in her bed. I could tell that Bethany was feeling the same way as she kept mentioning over and over how she hoped Ellie would wake up before she needed to leave.  

Honestly, I don't completely know where the worry arose from. According to Bethany, she didn't know how Ellie would react if she woke up and her mommy had already left for work without saying goodbye. I find it more likely that Bethany just didn't want to leave her daughter for the first time in weeks and not say goodbye. Such a good mommy, right?

As the minutes ticked by, Bethany's curiosity finally became too much to handle. She crept up the stairs, with only the cracking of her ankles providing a soundtrack for her quest. When she reached Ellie's room, Bethany gently turned the door knob and peered inside the room to see Ellie gently snoring. Bethany knew she shouldn't wake Ellie and sadly closed the door. With that, she said one final goodbye to Ethan and me and prepared to head out the door.

With pump bag and purse in hand, Bethany prepared to walk down the stairs when she was suddenly interrupted by a tiny voice. "Mommy, are you going to work?" Bethany happily turned towards the bedrooms to see a sleepy-eyed Ellie staring back at her. With that, the two embraced in a big hug which was followed by Ellie escorting Bethany down the stairs to the garage door. Once Ellie knew Bethany was safely in her car, she then romped up the stairs to the front window and stood there, waving and blowing kisses until Bethany was completely out of sight.

Hey, it's a job even if it's unpaid. Right Dwayne?

As I write these words, I am approximately halfway through my work day and I have to admit, I am very tired. Now the real challenge begins. Can I stay awake and alert until Bethany gets home at 5:00 pm or will I succumb to exhaustion, ultimately collapsing into a snoring, drooling heap in the middle of the floor? Time will only tell. #DaddyWrite

The Intermisson, Part 6 - The Fraternal Order of Home-bound Fathers

When I decided to quit working and became a stay-at-home dad, I knew I was joining a crowd of a select few. It's super common for one to see stay-at-home moms. Seriously, check out your local grocery store or library whenever you have a day off work. However, stay-at-home dads tend to be more of a rare breed. In fact, I feel like I've been able to go weeks at a time without seeing another S.A.H.D. in the wild. Occasionally though, I encounter those moments that remind me I'm not alone.

I'll set the scene. It's Thursday and Ellie and I are ready to take in story time at Woodneath Library. As we had arrived at the library a few minutes early, I decided to treat us to something special from the on-site coffee shop: a strawberry-banana smoothie.

I want this right now.

Now,  I don't know if I speak for all dads when I say this or not, but I like to spoil my little girl and occasional treats like this are one of my favorite ways to do so. Of course, part of spoiling Ellie is wanting to keep it just between the two of us. Therefore, I always make certain to remind her not to tell Mommy even though I know Bethany wouldn't care.

Once our smoothie was in hand, Ellie and I headed to the story time room and took a seat. There we sat and read books together, alternating sips of our smoothie until the festivities finally begun. While these events are largely attended by women, imagine my surprise when I saw a dad with his preschool-aged daughter wander in and take a seat. Of course, as men are prone to do in these situations, rather than engage in conversation, we instead acknowledged each other's presence with a simple head nod and returned our attention to our respective child. 

Approximately an hour later, story time had come and gone, the smoothie was long gone, and Ellie was the proud borrower of five new library books. Therefore, it was time to head to our next stop, Sam's Club. While our shopping list wasn't large by any means, it did include two specific things for Ellie: a new set of pajamas and a massive bucket of animal crackers. 

When it came time for Ellie to pick out her new pajamas, I must admit that disappointment reigned supreme. Even though I made a hard push for her to choose space cat-themed pajamas (you read that right), she instead settled for pink and purple donut-themed pajamas. Like a good dad though, I begrudgingly placed them in the cart and moved on.

Oh, what could have been...

As we traversed aisle after aisle, we suddenly encountered an unexpected surprise. There in the milk aisle was the same father/daughter combo we had seen at story time. Even though this meeting wouldn't be any more eventful than our last, there was at least a second head nod accompanied by a "Hey, it's you!". With that, it was time to head home to see Bethany and Ethan.

Oh, I guess I should mention here that Ellie is the biggest tattletale that ever lived. Within five minutes of being home, she had blabbed all about the smoothie to Bethany. I still can't believe she sold me out! #DaddyWrite

(Wife edit: Really you sold yourself out. Lol. I tried to tell her you don’t buy smoothies at the library. Little did I know her response of “you have never been to this library" was so true.)

The Intermission, Part 5 - The Return

Your eyes do not deceive you. After a little over a month, I'm finally writing another #DaddyWrite post. I'm sure my little layoff makes sense to anyone who has ever had a newborn in the house. That's especially true when you take the presence of Ellie into account as well. 

By the time it's all said and done, if Bethany and I have kept Ethan safe from his big sister for an entire day, that's a win. It doesn't matter if we have dishes that haven't been done or laundry that hasn't been done because priority #1 is keeping both kids happy, healthy, and safe. Therefore, as you can imagine, keeping up with a semi-vanity project like #DaddyWrite falls down the to-do list slightly.

In all seriousness, there is an importance to #DaddyWrite in that it gives us a practical tool with which to look back on the childhoods of Ellie and Ethan someday. That's probably the exact reason why Bethany has been strongly encouraging me to write again. For the record, there is a huge difference between strongly encouraging and nagging. 

While I could choose to write about our family trip to the zoo today, I feel there's an importance in actually discussing what life has been like at home for the past month as a family of four. Spoiler alert, it's been somewhat less than easy.

For one, even something simple like putting Ellie to bed has changed dramatically. It used to be that the three of us would all hang out in her room with the girls sitting in Ellie's rocking chair reading books while I sat in the extra-manly, furry, pink chair on the other side of the room. Once books were finished, we would spend time praying together as a family  before I finally would tuck Ellie in and call it a night. Now, Ellie is lucky to get one of us in her room for Operation Bedtime while the other takes care of Ethan. 

With any luck, Ellie will be doing this soon.

That's not the only thing that has changed for Ellie as she's had to learn to share her mother with her brother. You wouldn't think that would have been a big issue since she still had me around but it's actually been quite difficult. For the first six weeks of Bethany's maternity leave, Ellie and I spent most of our time engaged in battle over me trying in vain to get her to do something and her refusing. 

My personal favorite battle revolved around me trying to get her to put on her pajamas. We spent forty-five minutes locked in the bathroom with Ellie kicking and screaming. What was my response? To watch NCAA Tournament games on my phone, only looking up during commercials to ask if she was ready for my help. That question was generally met with louder and more intense screaming.

The most difficult part of the transition has actually been the arguing for Bethany and me. Between the lack of sleep and heightened emotions, we've found ourselves bickering a lot more than normal which definitely led to some hard feelings. It's ok though because even though we've had some hard conversations, we're back in a really good place right now or at least I feel that way. I'm assuming Bethany does as well.

I don't want you thinking that all of our difficulties are due to Ethan's arrival. For Ellie, her biggest struggle in life can sometimes come from eating a simple taco. We've all been there. We're taking bite after savory bit of taco goodness when out of nowhere, a big pile of filling plunges out the opposite end onto the plate below. While adults simply take a fork and eat the "leftovers" once the taco is consumed, Ellie's response is slightly different. 

"Oh no, my taco!"

On a positive note though, whenever something hard happens tomorrow, I now have something I can think of guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. "Oh no, my taco!" #DaddyWrite

The Intermission, Part 4 - Things Long Forgotten and Things Never Known

One big thing about having a new baby in the house is that it reminds one of all the things long forgotten about child rearing. I, for one, forgot about just how hard it is to keep any kind of real schedule in early weeks. Outside of me attempting to get to the gym each day and our early-afternoon viewings of 'Reba', there's not a ton of consistency in our lives. That's not the only thing I forgot though.

 

What I can only assume is a joke from an episode of 'Reba'. I don't get it.

For example, it was once common knowledge for me to cover certain parts of my daughter when changing diapers. That was likely due to my lack of quickness when it comes to diaper changes. However, now that I have a son, I seem to have forgotten about the importance of speed, efficiency, and taking preventative measures. It only takes one time of getting my face urinated on to remind why that is so important. 

It's not just the diaper changing that seems to have slipped my mind when it comes to having a new baby though. I definitely forgot about all of the crying that consistently echoes around the walls of our house. Unfortunately for me, I also forgot about just how bad I am at calming a crying baby.

It should definitely be said that my lack of proficiency at calming a crying child doesn't come from lack of trying. Instead, it seems to come from one of two sources. The first being that I'm pretty sure Ethan can sense my apprehension and lack of confidence when it comes to calming all that ails him. Despite my best intentions, it seems that it doesn't matter how much I hold him, talk to him, bounce him, or sway with him. The boy will not calm. Of course, I'm guessing that it also has something to do with the fact that there's something special about Bethany to him. After all, she is his source of food in the world.

I'm not sure if it's any consolation or not but at least I'm not just discovering things I've forgotten. I'm also learning about things I've never known. For example, before today, I never knew just how difficult it is to tie a simple ponytail or a pair of pigtails. I should add that this wasn't required knowledge for me until Bethany's purchase of Ellie-sized hair ties over the weekend.

After Ellie finished her daily nap, I met her in the bathroom to assist her in changing back into her clothes. As part of those duties, Ellie had but one simple request: to put her hair up in pigtails. After watching Bethany do so a couple of times, I didn't figure it would be too difficult. Unfortunately I was very, very wrong. 

Obviously the biggest hurdle for me to overcome was my own lack of skill. However, things were also complicated by Ellie's status as a moving target. Seriously, you try successfully putting hair ties in someone's hair as they're spinning in circles in front of you.

Lucky for me, I have a wife who understands my shortcomings in life. She also knew the best way to help me overcome them is through practice. Therefore, her thought was to allow me to practice making pigtails on her. Even though she wasn't satisfied with the final product, I feel like it wasn't too bad for my first attempt. What say you, dear readers? #DaddyWrite