Friday, February 8, 2019

Day 590 - In Conclusion...


In conclusion...

Those simple words portray a sense of finality to anything that both precedes and follows them. Odds are that anyone who has ever written a report has used those words on at least one occasion to signal the ending of said report. Of course, "In conclusion" isn't just used in reports. I, for one, liked to use it to wrap up any kind of oral report I was ever asked to give. 


Yes, it's cliché.
Yes, everyone uses it.
Yes, there's probably better ways to put a bow on things.
Do I care? No, I do not.

With that, let's hop to the conclusion.


Day 590. 

That number seems absolutely massive and overpowering as I look at it. If one was to add it all together, it'd make less than two years. However, when one takes the counting style (questionable though it may be) of #DaddyWrite into account, it comes out to somewhere around two and a half years. 

Isn't that insane to think about? It's been two years since I took a chance and decided to exit the work force in order to stay at home with Ellie full time. At the time, I was worried that I'd be making a huge mistake that I would come to regret. Today, that couldn't be further from the truth. 

It's been one of my favorite times of my life watching my daughter grow into the wonderful little girl she has become. While it's true that she can be a handful and that she absolutely drives me nuts at times, I wouldn't change anything that has happened. 

I realize this post makes it sound like I'm going back to work or something but that's not accurate. Instead, I feel it's important to document just how I'm feeling on what could be the final day of it being just Ellie and I. Yes, there's no Chewy yet but with his due date being Sunday, there is a strong possibility that today was the grand finale for our little Dynamic Duo, leaving us with nothing to show for it other than a mundane trip to Target.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset for Chewy's upcoming birth. Instead, I'm just waxing poetic about what has been and what is to come. Like many other people, I really don't enjoy big changes. The unknown of what lies ahead is always frightening. Also, knowing that the special relationship I've built with my daughter will definitely change moving forward is both a sobering and exciting proposition.

I should probably explain myself. It's sobering because it's been just the two of us for so long and that will no longer be the case. The days of us easily being able to take off on an adventure whenever we want is probably over. There will definitely be more planning to all that we do. 

For Ellie, the presence of little Chewy will mean that my attention will be divided from this time forward. I'm sorry to have to write these words but I've definitely taken the time I have with Ellie for granted. It's like I just woke up today to discover she's only five months away from turning three years old. It's absolutely nuts. What's next? Preschool. Kindergarten. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. Then she's out the door and off to college.

There is an excitement factor to all of this though. You see, as my daughter grows and develops, our relationship deepens and gets more and more fun. It's already gone from one where I essentially talk to myself all day long to one where she and I converse back and forth. We can actually discuss her likes and dislike which is really cool. Also, rather than me planning everything we do, Ellie has the ability to voice her own thoughts and desires.

As she continues to grow, change, and develop, I actually look forward to some of the changes in our relationship. I see the deep relationships that some of the spiritual mentors in my life have with their daughters and I cannot wait to share those experiences with Ellie.

I know having a son is going to be really fun. However, I don't want to lose sight of just how special Ellie is, has been, and will continue to be to me. The great thing is that if she ever doubts that to be the case, there's 270-something blog posts to this point showing how much I care for and adore her. #DaddyWrite


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