Day 262 - Reunited and It Feels So...Wait, What's That?

I probably say the following statement at risk of seeming like a cold, cruel, uncaring father. However, with that being said, the only person who can truly quantify that statement is Ellie. Lucky for me, Ellie's not exactly speaking on the matter at this time. So, you know, the truth can remain hidden a little longer.

Where was I? Oh yeah, that statement that makes me seem cold and cruel. Honestly, not a day goes by where I'm not disappointed by Ellie in some fashion. I see all of your jaws dropping and thinking, "That's mean." I don't feel like it's that farfetched of a proposition though. Imagine it, Ellie's an extremely lively fifteen-month-old. I mean, she's into everything, rarely slows down, and possesses the ability to either obey or disobey on command. I think it just depends on her mood at the given time.

Of course, I didn't realize we could only be disappointed in Ellie when she does something bad. I learned on Wednesday night that we can actually be disappointed in Ellie for not responding to something just like we imagined.

As you well know, Bethany had spent the better part of the previous three days in sunny San Francisco, CA (Side note: Stupid Giants, not that I'm still bitter or anything). While she was enjoying some well-deserved days away from home, Ellie and I were holding down the fort back in Kansas City. Needless to say, by the time six o'clock rolled around on Wednesday night, I was pretty stoked to head to the airport to pick up my wife (Does that statement sound like I'm picking up a Russian mail-order bride or something?). Ellie, meanwhile, was just happy to be along for the ride.

Even though we could have just parked outside the terminal and picked Bethany up at the curb, I decided it would be more fun to go inside and meet her at the gate instead. I had two reasons for doing so. Number one, I hoped it'd be a blog-worthy experience and number two, I thought Ellie would have a really cool reaction. I mean, it's not like she had spent the better part of three days relentlessly searching the house for her mother. Oh wait, she did!

As we arrived at the airport, I was personally super excited to meet Bethany at the gate. Ellie meanwhile, was more excited by the prospect of taking her shoes and socks off just as soon as I put them on. Once I successfully wrangled them onto her feet, I extricated Ellie from her car seat and then began the equally daunting task of dressing her in a jacket. After tussling with her for a bit, we were ready to head inside. 

As we were a few minutes early, I sat Ellie down on the terminal floor and proceeded to follow her on adventures down the starry walkways. Every so often, she'd try to make a new friend. Alas, people who are hanging out alone in airports generally are not stoked to be there. Although she did build a very strong friendship with a particularly happy and smiley TSA guard who told us where the exit door for gate 68 was located.

Once we finally wandered down to gate 68 to await Bethany, Ellie again made a new friend immediately. This time, it was the beleaguered employee trying in vain to close the MSNBC Store for the night as Ellie stood directly in the path of his security gate. Although he was nice enough about it, I could tell there was a tinge of irritation in his voice. Luckily for us, another distraction occurred soon enough as people began pouring out of gate 68. 

Before we knew it, Bethany exited the gate and met us in the terminal. While we both expected Ellie to dramatically scream "Ha" at the sight of her mother while holding out her arms for a hug, we were both disappointed. Instead, Ellie was deeply disturbed/intrigued by the sight of the rolling suitcase that accompanied her mommy. Perhaps she believed it had a puppy in it or something? Ellie's obsession with the suitcase actually didn't end until she was back in her car seat and heading home. In fact, she chose that moment to become aware of her mother's presence and wanted her immediate attention. **rolling eyes**

So, as you can see, we had one set of expectations for this dramatic family reunion and the reality was something different entirely. I guess television and movies have completely led me astray as to what to expect with emotional reconnections within airports. Maybe next time when Ellie's older will go more according to plan. Or it'll crash and burn in even more spectacular ways. Both good. #DaddyWrite

Day 260 and 261 - Mommy Come Home Soon?

Sometimes I really find myself wondering what exactly goes on in Ellie's mind from time-to-time. On the surface, it certainly seems like her every action is driven by some kind of basic animalistic instinct. For example, when food is on the table in front of her, there is no sense of her pacing herself. Instead, it's somewhat akin to placing Filet Mignon in front of a starving canine. If you need another example, what about those times that she refuses sleep to the point of mental anguish (both hers and mine)? 

Color me shocked that someone would actually do this...

I find myself wondering about these things more than normal right now. The reason why? Well, this week marks the first time in her fifteen months of life that Ellie has gone without Bethany. Don't worry, nothing bad happened to Bethany or anything. I didn't sell her to the circus. Nope, she's just on a business trip in San Francisco which means I'm parenting solo until she returns on Wednesday night.

Obviously, I've been responsible for Ellie during the day throughout her tiny life. I've even fed her dinner alone, bathed her, and put her to bed all on my own before. However, those experiences have played out for one night here and there. I've never before spent this long a period of time as Ellie's sole giver. Taking all of that into account, it should be no shocker than Ellie has already started #MissingMommy (It's been a while since I busted out that hashtag).

Oh yeah, that's why I don't use that hashtag anymore...

This may be a shocker to you, but Ellie has a remarkably good sense of time for a baby. I'm sure it's just a result of her getting hungry or maybe the sun going down. Regardless, Ellie has a very firm concept of when Bethany should be getting home from work each night.  

Actually, in all seriousness, I'm guessing she's put together that Bethany calls each night on her way home from work. I'm pretty sure that's the case because on Monday night when Bethany called us to check-in, Ellie dropped everything she was doing and went to the window to stare at the driveway. All of this in spite of the fact that Bethany wasn't just calling us, she was using Facetime! Even when I showed Ellie the video of her mother on the phone, I still couldn't persuade my daughter to leave the window. In fact, typical of Ellie's one track mind, the only thing that could draw her from that window was the promise of food.

My child is the human embodiment of Dug the dog...

Of course, it's not just food that is needed to distract Ellie from #MissingMommy. Sometimes, a little adventure is in order is in order to distract her from  all that ails her. That was the case for us on Tuesday afternoon. As we had received  an e-mail that morning that Ellie's most recent round of library books had come due, I decided that a library trip was in order. The thing about me is that I'm never quite willing to take the easy approach when a more difficult one will do just fine. In this instance, rather than heading to the perfectly good library less than two miles away, I decided instead to drive fifteen miles up the road to the branch in Smithville.

I know you're wondering why I would do that. Number one, I feel like Smithville's branch has a better selection of board books to choose from. Number two, I feel like there's less people that go there. As a result, it's much easier to let Ellie walk around on her own with me trailing along behind rather than carrying her everywhere. That was certainly the case in this instance as I was able to set Ellie down right next to me as I browsed the books. However, as you can probably guess, she wasn't too keen on staying put for long.

Before I knew what had happened, I turned around to see Ellie happily darting into a room right behind us. Like any doting parent would, I immediately headed after her to see what she had found. There was nothing to fear as she had stumbled upon a children's play area. Between the little clubhouse with seats just her size, the activity walls with plenty to touch and move, and those wire things with beads on them that you move, Ellie was happily distracted for well over fifteen minutes.

Of course, any trip to the library isn't complete without me seeing if I can find anything for myself.

While I was unable to find anything that interested me, I did find something else that interested Ellie. 

While quickly perusing the movie aisle, Ellie became fussy and really wanted down. Therefore, I went ahead and set her down on the ground with every anticipation of having to stop her from pulling items off the shelf. Instead, she immediately took off happily jaunting down the aisle. Before she was done, she had covered practically every aisle in the place. She even spent some time climbing in and out of a big chair for good measure. Once she was finally done exploring, we checked out our books and headed for home.

Even though things have gone just fine with Bethany gone, I still find myself eagerly anticipating her return home if for no other reason than I desperately need a break from baby duty. If I'm telling the truth, I think Ellie probably is ready for a break from me as well. I mean, who wouldn't be? #DaddyWrite

Day 259 - A Bold Fashion Choice (at the Doctor's Office)

I'm guessing there are times where all parents decide it's just easier to let their kid do whatever it is they want to rather than trying to stop them. Within reason, I mean. Imagine if your kid wakes up in the morning and says, "I don't want to go to school anymore. I think I'll rob a bank today instead." Most parents are going to react to that statement in a less-than-ecstatic manner (Unless they really want to retire, I guess). 

I bring this up because I just went through one of those times when it was easier (and much cuter) to finally just give Ellie what she wanted rather than continuing to engage in some form of strict parenting.

Friday marked Ellie's fifteen-month checkup and to tell the truth, Bethany and I had been anticipating this exam for quite some time. As people who have followed Ellie's life will surely know, ample weight gain has been a problem for her. I'm just spitballing here, but could the reason for that possibly be that both of her parents are relatively skinny people? Just a thought. 

Back on topic, Bethany and I have worked hard to make certain Ellie is healthy and growing in the way she should be. We've essentially been allowed her to eat until she's borderline miserable at dinner. Don't worry though as the food's still healthy! Not only does she have all of the food she can manage, but just like at Bethany's work, Ellie essentially has an all-you-can-drink milk bar at her disposal. The only problem is that the gallon jug does eventually go empty.

I wasn't lying about the milk bar...

I will say that I did have some worries plaguing me as we headed towards the doctor's office. It didn't so much have to do with the doctor appointment. Instead, it had more to do with the fact that Ellie refused a morning nap until 9:00 am, which I sadly had to wake her up from for a 10:00 am doctor's appointment.

Once we arrived, I checked in and played with Ellie in the waiting room until we were finally escorted back to the exam room by our nurse. At this point, I realized we were likely in for a successful appointment as the nurse enthusiastically said, "Wow, she's gotten really big since we last saw her!" Her statement was confirmed after I stripped Ellie down to her diaper for her weigh-in and height measurement; 19.775 pounds and 30 inches long.

Following the weigh-in, I put Ellie's diaper back on and headed back to the exam room to wait on the doctor. Of course, as any sane person knows, this is always the longest part of any doctor visit. It didn't take long before Ellie began getting bored and antsy while waiting on our doctor to arrive. Despite the presence of several toys I had brought, there was only one thing in the room that she wanted; her pair of pink and teal tennis shoes. As time went on, Ellie began to become more and more insistent that she have her shoes right then and there. Finally, I gave in and placed the shoes on her sockless feet so that she could trot back and forth across the tiny exam room.

About this time, our doctor walks in with my daughter traipsing across the exam room in nothing but a diaper and her pair of shoes. Ellie gazed up at him with a big inviting smile on her face to which he could only reply, "Nice shoes." With that, I sat Ellie back on my lap and we proceeded on with a relatively uneventful exam. 

You know, outside of when I had to forcibly hold my daughter in place so the doctor could look in her ears. Or when she received her two shots for the day. Those parts were far, far, far from uneventful.  #DaddyWrite

Day 258 - Entering a 'No Pacifier' Zone

I'm convinced that one part of parenting is eternally feeling like the bad guy. Yes, it's one thing to feel like the bad guy when one's kid deserves it.

"Ellie, why did you just throw food on the ground?"

"I can't believe you just shoved your hand in that diaper."

"Why are you still screaming? You have been screaming for 35 minutes straight for no reason!"

"Ouch, you just put my eye out! I was still using that."

All are good reasons to punish your child and not really feel like a bad person. However, there are those times where you totally feel like you're in the wrong even if it is the right thing. In fact, one of those times totally snuck up on Bethany and I last night.

We even had a checklist and everything to help us determine if it was right or wrong...

As Ellie has gotten older, we've definitely seen a change in how closely we monitor milestones. When she was younger, we were religiously checking our parenting app, as well as websites, to ensure Ellie was crossing off developmental goals. As time has gone on, we've found ourselves to be less apt to obsess over her milestones. We generally won't even take a peek until around the time of her next doctor's appointment.

Well, it so happens that Ellie's fifteen month appointment is on Friday. Therefore, it was definitely time to check on her development. Once we opened the app, we started cruising down milestones and were feeling pretty good about our little girl's development (and our parenting skills). That is, until we reached one particular goal stating it might be time to take away the pacifier.

Before you judge us too much, keep in mind we already have mostly taken away Ellie's pacifiers. Yes, plural; she gets one to suck on and one to hold in her hands. As things currently stand, the only time she actually gets them is during naptime and at night. So, of course, we figured taking it away wouldn't be too bad. Like the (un)smart person I am, my bright idea was to go cold turkey/pull it off fast like a Band-Aid/flat out take it away. As you're a smart blog reader, you already know where this is going.

See, 'Seinfeld' agrees with me!

We decided the best time to begin this process would be at bedtime rather than during naps. Our reasoning being that if Ellie is already exhausted from a long day filled with playing, eating, and stacking cups, she'd probably just doze off immediately. Yeah, we were wrong about that. As we laid Ellie down and left the room, we could audibly hear her just talking to herself. In fact, that would continue for about 10 minutes before the screams erupted through the baby monitor.

At that point, we made the decision to give it ten more minutes of her actually crying before giving in. So, we waited. And waited. And for a change of pace, waited some more. Finally the ten minutes were up and Bethany ran upstairs to both calm the baby and then hand her a pacifier before laying her back down. We were ready and prepared to give her the second pacifier after fifteen minutes if she was still awake. Lucky for us, Ellie decided to finally go to sleep instead.

I have mixed feelings about taking her pacifiers away. On one side, it's definitely time. At fifteen months of age, she really doesn't need them anymore. Also, it'd be nice to have one less to worry about her flinging from her crib with great intensity. On the other hand, it makes me feel like another vestige of her babyhood is disappearing. It's just another thing to remind me that she's growing up so fast and needs to slow down. It honestly makes me want to cry a little.

Probably because I'm a wimp. #DaddyWrite 

Day 256 - Ellie's Safe Place: No Daddies Allowed

Anyone actually know what Southwest Airlines slogan is off the top of their head? I'll even give you the answer in the form of a multiple choice.

A. Think Outside the Bun

B. Go & Smell the Roses

C. Go Further

D. Wanna Get Away

E. Build Something Together

F. Greatness Awaits

G. Save Money, Live Better

H. Expect Great Things

Hey, I never said how many choices you would have to pick from. Any guesses? The correct answer is actually D. Wanna Get Away. In case, you're wondering the others are Taco Bell, Travelocity, Ford, Lowe's, PlayStation, Walmart, and Kohl's in that order. 

I know this seems relatively random, but I actually do have a reason for approaching this blog in this manner. The reason is that everyone goes through times where life gets to be a little much and they need to get away for a bit. Ever since my college days, my place of refuge was behind the wheel of my car. In fact, I can't even count how many random trips I made across the countryside of northwest Missouri just to have some alone time.

I'm not the only one in my household that just has to get away for some alone time now and then. I'm not talking about Bethany either. No, I'm instead talking about Ellie and how she has discovered a place in our house that belongs to her and her alone.

Ironically, Bill Shatner is alone in being able to understand his acting...

I've made plenty of mention about my propensity to procrastinate in the past (try saying that three times fast). One of those things I put off doing (for no good reason) was washing up Ellie's 'Bumpo' seat and moving it to storage in our basement since she no longer needs it. However, instead of putting it away, I just shoved it in the corner of Ellie's bedroom behind the rocking chair and next to the window. If it makes it sound any better, I was at least using it to keep Ellie's curtains closed more tightly to keep light out.

Well, it so happens that the 'Bumpo' chair is serving a purpose in more ways than one. Lately, I've found that Ellie has been randomly disappearing when I would have just seen her moments before. Not only is she disappearing, but she's not answering when I call either. Honestly, the first time this happened, I was totally freaking out and tearing the house apart trying to find my baby. Of course, she happened to be in one of the last places I would look. Ellie had retreated back behind the rocker and was actually sitting in her 'Bumpo' seat. Not only was she sitting in the 'Bumpo', but she was also "reading" a story that she had plucked off her bookshelf.

In fact, since the first time I caught Ellie back there, she's made quite a habit of doing so. Several times a day, she'll disappear back there for a few minutes just to have some quiet time. Of course, she doesn't just head back there at quiet times. She also loves to play hide and seek and chase the baby behind that chair as well. She's certainly figured out that Bethany and I cannot get behind the chair without much difficulty so she's free to do what she wants back there without being bothered. 

As you can see, it's not easy for a full-sized human to get back there...

I think the one thing that I have failed to grasp about parenthood is that Ellie actually is a little person all her own. She has her own quirks, wants, and desires. And just like anyone else, there are times I drive her so nuts she has to seek refuge just to get away from me.  At least she's getting used to that fact of life early on, right? #DaddyWrite