Bruce Banner. Just your everyday, mild-mannered scientist
researching experimental gamma radiation. Simple enough, right? While you may
not have heard of our good friend, Bruce, I'd be willing to bet you've heard of
his alter-ego. That being the Incredible Hulk, the angry emerald giant who runs
around speaking various forms of baby talk and pretty much smashing anything in
his path.
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| Hulk smash? |
Now, believe it or not, there was actually a reason for me to go on a little rant that basically outed me as a huge nerd. Well, let me rephrase that: I'm a huge nerd in regards to the Marvel movies. I'm not really a comic book guy. In fact, if you had to ask me what the last comic book I purchased was, I'm pretty sure it was a Looney Tunes comic book somewhere in Alabama. Or maybe Tennessee or Louisiana. The one where Bugs escaped that big, furry, red monster dude.
Ok, back to the reasoning for the rant. It's very simple,
really. Basically, my precious, adorable, occasional cantankerous daughter,
Ellie, has undergone a metamorphosis to become precious, adorable, and nearly
always cantankerous. Side note, cantankerous is actually a very difficult word
for me to spell. Everyone has their faults though.
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| Gossamer! His name was Gossamer! |
Now, I've always heard of the terrible twos, but Ellie seems
to have grown into that stage a little earlier than I anticipated and/or
wanted. In fact, it's not farfetched to call her attitude downright combative.
While Ellie's always had a temper, she is now experiences the side-effects of
said temper more often.
For example, one of Ellie's favorite things to do is steal
Bethany's or my cell phone and frolic around the house with it. However, when
the frolicking ends, she then becomes obsessed with trying to crack the
passcode to get into our phones. Envision her, tapping numbers randomly
into our phones, trying in vain to crack my very secure passcode of 1-2-3-4.
And yes, that's not my real passcode. Tell the truth, you thought I divulged
something very important, right?
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| Now you don't know what to believe... |
It's not uncommon for Ellie to eventually lock us
out of our phones for a period of time due to failing at logging in too many
times. For the record, she has locked us out for upwards of 15 minutes before. That's
where the fun starts though. Normally, at this point, I'll start attempting to
reclaim my phone from my curious daughter; an action that is wrought with
peril. The moment I even reach out for said phone, Ellie goes into fight or
flight mode. If she's unable to get away from me in time, her response is to chuck
the phone as hard and as far as she can.
Here's where things get interesting. The second that I tell
her she did wrong or confront her about her misdeed, Ellie will throw herself
onto the floor in a blind rage, screaming and kicking all the while. At this
point, I'm met with two options. I can either console the baby or walk away,
leaving her kicking and screaming until she's blue in the face. Guess which
option I generally pick. Go ahead, guess. Hey, you're right and/or wrong! I do
just let her lay in the floor kicking and screaming while I do something
productive like stare out the window happily.
Lucky for me, she can't do any real damage at this point in
time with her temper tantrums. Worst case scenario, she just gets a nasty
contusion from banging her limbs on the ground. I just have to make certain
she's not exposed to any gamma radiation lest she turns green, muscular, and
super angry. If that happened, I'm not 100% certain our home owners insurance
would cover the damages that would surely occur. And well, I know I wouldn't
want to cover that out-of-pocket. #DaddyWrite
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| It's not 'Hulk Baby' but I can give you 'Creepy Baby with Wild Hair'. On second though, I should provide a nice picture too. |
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