Day 592 - Back to the Grind.

"Ok, there must be a Delorean somewhere around here. That's the only possible way twelve weeks have already passed by."

If you didn't already infer it from that statement, today marked the end of Bethany's twelve-week maternity leave. It's absolutely crazy to think about her already being back at work for multiple reasons. First of all, I feel like there should be no way that Ethan has already turned twelve weeks old. Secondly (and more importantly), is it really already time for me to be solely responsible for two human lives in addition to my own? That can't be a good idea.

This morning was actually kind of heartbreaking to watch unfold if for no other reason that I once again had to wake up at 5:15 to go to the gym instead of waiting around home and going at 8:00. For the record, I'm joking with that last statement. Instead, it was heartbreaking to watch Bethany have to bid adieu to her kids for the first time in twelve weeks knowing that she'll be gone for the entire day. For Ethan, it was a fairly easy experience. Bethany hugged him tightly, enjoying every last snuggle, until the time came for her to hand him to me. With Ellie, the story was slightly different.

Here's a good place for me to remind you that Bethany heads out the door at 7:00 am to head to work. Generally there's not much that will change that time one way or the other. Today I was wondering if that would change as 6:50 hit and Ellie was still fast asleep in her bed. I could tell that Bethany was feeling the same way as she kept mentioning over and over how she hoped Ellie would wake up before she needed to leave.  

Honestly, I don't completely know where the worry arose from. According to Bethany, she didn't know how Ellie would react if she woke up and her mommy had already left for work without saying goodbye. I find it more likely that Bethany just didn't want to leave her daughter for the first time in weeks and not say goodbye. Such a good mommy, right?

As the minutes ticked by, Bethany's curiosity finally became too much to handle. She crept up the stairs, with only the cracking of her ankles providing a soundtrack for her quest. When she reached Ellie's room, Bethany gently turned the door knob and peered inside the room to see Ellie gently snoring. Bethany knew she shouldn't wake Ellie and sadly closed the door. With that, she said one final goodbye to Ethan and me and prepared to head out the door.

With pump bag and purse in hand, Bethany prepared to walk down the stairs when she was suddenly interrupted by a tiny voice. "Mommy, are you going to work?" Bethany happily turned towards the bedrooms to see a sleepy-eyed Ellie staring back at her. With that, the two embraced in a big hug which was followed by Ellie escorting Bethany down the stairs to the garage door. Once Ellie knew Bethany was safely in her car, she then romped up the stairs to the front window and stood there, waving and blowing kisses until Bethany was completely out of sight.

Hey, it's a job even if it's unpaid. Right Dwayne?

As I write these words, I am approximately halfway through my work day and I have to admit, I am very tired. Now the real challenge begins. Can I stay awake and alert until Bethany gets home at 5:00 pm or will I succumb to exhaustion, ultimately collapsing into a snoring, drooling heap in the middle of the floor? Time will only tell. #DaddyWrite

The Intermisson, Part 6 - The Fraternal Order of Home-bound Fathers

When I decided to quit working and became a stay-at-home dad, I knew I was joining a crowd of a select few. It's super common for one to see stay-at-home moms. Seriously, check out your local grocery store or library whenever you have a day off work. However, stay-at-home dads tend to be more of a rare breed. In fact, I feel like I've been able to go weeks at a time without seeing another S.A.H.D. in the wild. Occasionally though, I encounter those moments that remind me I'm not alone.

I'll set the scene. It's Thursday and Ellie and I are ready to take in story time at Woodneath Library. As we had arrived at the library a few minutes early, I decided to treat us to something special from the on-site coffee shop: a strawberry-banana smoothie.

I want this right now.

Now,  I don't know if I speak for all dads when I say this or not, but I like to spoil my little girl and occasional treats like this are one of my favorite ways to do so. Of course, part of spoiling Ellie is wanting to keep it just between the two of us. Therefore, I always make certain to remind her not to tell Mommy even though I know Bethany wouldn't care.

Once our smoothie was in hand, Ellie and I headed to the story time room and took a seat. There we sat and read books together, alternating sips of our smoothie until the festivities finally begun. While these events are largely attended by women, imagine my surprise when I saw a dad with his preschool-aged daughter wander in and take a seat. Of course, as men are prone to do in these situations, rather than engage in conversation, we instead acknowledged each other's presence with a simple head nod and returned our attention to our respective child. 

Approximately an hour later, story time had come and gone, the smoothie was long gone, and Ellie was the proud borrower of five new library books. Therefore, it was time to head to our next stop, Sam's Club. While our shopping list wasn't large by any means, it did include two specific things for Ellie: a new set of pajamas and a massive bucket of animal crackers. 

When it came time for Ellie to pick out her new pajamas, I must admit that disappointment reigned supreme. Even though I made a hard push for her to choose space cat-themed pajamas (you read that right), she instead settled for pink and purple donut-themed pajamas. Like a good dad though, I begrudgingly placed them in the cart and moved on.

Oh, what could have been...

As we traversed aisle after aisle, we suddenly encountered an unexpected surprise. There in the milk aisle was the same father/daughter combo we had seen at story time. Even though this meeting wouldn't be any more eventful than our last, there was at least a second head nod accompanied by a "Hey, it's you!". With that, it was time to head home to see Bethany and Ethan.

Oh, I guess I should mention here that Ellie is the biggest tattletale that ever lived. Within five minutes of being home, she had blabbed all about the smoothie to Bethany. I still can't believe she sold me out! #DaddyWrite

(Wife edit: Really you sold yourself out. Lol. I tried to tell her you don’t buy smoothies at the library. Little did I know her response of “you have never been to this library" was so true.)

The Intermission, Part 5 - The Return

Your eyes do not deceive you. After a little over a month, I'm finally writing another #DaddyWrite post. I'm sure my little layoff makes sense to anyone who has ever had a newborn in the house. That's especially true when you take the presence of Ellie into account as well. 

By the time it's all said and done, if Bethany and I have kept Ethan safe from his big sister for an entire day, that's a win. It doesn't matter if we have dishes that haven't been done or laundry that hasn't been done because priority #1 is keeping both kids happy, healthy, and safe. Therefore, as you can imagine, keeping up with a semi-vanity project like #DaddyWrite falls down the to-do list slightly.

In all seriousness, there is an importance to #DaddyWrite in that it gives us a practical tool with which to look back on the childhoods of Ellie and Ethan someday. That's probably the exact reason why Bethany has been strongly encouraging me to write again. For the record, there is a huge difference between strongly encouraging and nagging. 

While I could choose to write about our family trip to the zoo today, I feel there's an importance in actually discussing what life has been like at home for the past month as a family of four. Spoiler alert, it's been somewhat less than easy.

For one, even something simple like putting Ellie to bed has changed dramatically. It used to be that the three of us would all hang out in her room with the girls sitting in Ellie's rocking chair reading books while I sat in the extra-manly, furry, pink chair on the other side of the room. Once books were finished, we would spend time praying together as a family  before I finally would tuck Ellie in and call it a night. Now, Ellie is lucky to get one of us in her room for Operation Bedtime while the other takes care of Ethan. 

With any luck, Ellie will be doing this soon.

That's not the only thing that has changed for Ellie as she's had to learn to share her mother with her brother. You wouldn't think that would have been a big issue since she still had me around but it's actually been quite difficult. For the first six weeks of Bethany's maternity leave, Ellie and I spent most of our time engaged in battle over me trying in vain to get her to do something and her refusing. 

My personal favorite battle revolved around me trying to get her to put on her pajamas. We spent forty-five minutes locked in the bathroom with Ellie kicking and screaming. What was my response? To watch NCAA Tournament games on my phone, only looking up during commercials to ask if she was ready for my help. That question was generally met with louder and more intense screaming.

The most difficult part of the transition has actually been the arguing for Bethany and me. Between the lack of sleep and heightened emotions, we've found ourselves bickering a lot more than normal which definitely led to some hard feelings. It's ok though because even though we've had some hard conversations, we're back in a really good place right now or at least I feel that way. I'm assuming Bethany does as well.

I don't want you thinking that all of our difficulties are due to Ethan's arrival. For Ellie, her biggest struggle in life can sometimes come from eating a simple taco. We've all been there. We're taking bite after savory bit of taco goodness when out of nowhere, a big pile of filling plunges out the opposite end onto the plate below. While adults simply take a fork and eat the "leftovers" once the taco is consumed, Ellie's response is slightly different. 

"Oh no, my taco!"

On a positive note though, whenever something hard happens tomorrow, I now have something I can think of guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. "Oh no, my taco!" #DaddyWrite

The Intermission, Part 4 - Things Long Forgotten and Things Never Known

One big thing about having a new baby in the house is that it reminds one of all the things long forgotten about child rearing. I, for one, forgot about just how hard it is to keep any kind of real schedule in early weeks. Outside of me attempting to get to the gym each day and our early-afternoon viewings of 'Reba', there's not a ton of consistency in our lives. That's not the only thing I forgot though.

 

What I can only assume is a joke from an episode of 'Reba'. I don't get it.

For example, it was once common knowledge for me to cover certain parts of my daughter when changing diapers. That was likely due to my lack of quickness when it comes to diaper changes. However, now that I have a son, I seem to have forgotten about the importance of speed, efficiency, and taking preventative measures. It only takes one time of getting my face urinated on to remind why that is so important. 

It's not just the diaper changing that seems to have slipped my mind when it comes to having a new baby though. I definitely forgot about all of the crying that consistently echoes around the walls of our house. Unfortunately for me, I also forgot about just how bad I am at calming a crying baby.

It should definitely be said that my lack of proficiency at calming a crying child doesn't come from lack of trying. Instead, it seems to come from one of two sources. The first being that I'm pretty sure Ethan can sense my apprehension and lack of confidence when it comes to calming all that ails him. Despite my best intentions, it seems that it doesn't matter how much I hold him, talk to him, bounce him, or sway with him. The boy will not calm. Of course, I'm guessing that it also has something to do with the fact that there's something special about Bethany to him. After all, she is his source of food in the world.

I'm not sure if it's any consolation or not but at least I'm not just discovering things I've forgotten. I'm also learning about things I've never known. For example, before today, I never knew just how difficult it is to tie a simple ponytail or a pair of pigtails. I should add that this wasn't required knowledge for me until Bethany's purchase of Ellie-sized hair ties over the weekend.

After Ellie finished her daily nap, I met her in the bathroom to assist her in changing back into her clothes. As part of those duties, Ellie had but one simple request: to put her hair up in pigtails. After watching Bethany do so a couple of times, I didn't figure it would be too difficult. Unfortunately I was very, very wrong. 

Obviously the biggest hurdle for me to overcome was my own lack of skill. However, things were also complicated by Ellie's status as a moving target. Seriously, you try successfully putting hair ties in someone's hair as they're spinning in circles in front of you.

Lucky for me, I have a wife who understands my shortcomings in life. She also knew the best way to help me overcome them is through practice. Therefore, her thought was to allow me to practice making pigtails on her. Even though she wasn't satisfied with the final product, I feel like it wasn't too bad for my first attempt. What say you, dear readers? #DaddyWrite

 

The Intermission, Part 3 - Who Knew the Baby Would Be the Easy One?

I feel like I'm starting to get really good at counting. That'll happen when a person decides to go and have two kids rather than just one. Now, instead of simply having to look after one kid, we have to keep tabs on two. While that seems rather obvious, one never really knows how things will change until the time comes.

I feel that this is a good opportunity for me to brag on Ethan for being the easiest baby ever. Despite our little ER adventure, he's basically been a dream. In fact, the only time he ever cries or shows any kind of distress is during diaper changes. I guess there's also occasional cries when he's ready to be fed but that's really pretty common. It's a long ways from the days of keeping earplugs readily available in every room of our house for Ellie.

Good baby. Nice baby.

Speaking of Ellie, she has actually been the biggest cause of stress in our lives since Ethan was born. I don't say that to be mean but that doesn't make it any less true. I've long written of Ellie's unyielding love for her mother or if I haven't, I always meant to. Basically what it all boils down to is that if Bethany is home, Ellie wants her nonstop attention.

It really doesn't matter what Bethany is doing. Just know that Ellie has to be right alongside her. This includes times such as feeding Ethan or taking a bathroom break. Believe it or not, Ellie has even morphed into Bethany's own personal alarm clock as she wakes up each day to the sight of two blue eyes staring her in the face.

The real difficulty with Ellie though has been in managing the tantrums that have become commonplace over the last couple of weeks. I'm not sure if it's due to her sleep quality being diminished due to Ethan's presence or something else but tantrums from Ellie have now become a daily part of our life. 

It's weird because there is no rhyme or reason to what's going to set her off. For example, one of Ellie's tantrums from today was a direct result of me telling her to stop licking a blanket. Yes, I had to tell my two-year-old that it is not socially acceptable behavior to lick a blanket. Never mind the fact that it was my blanket and I really didn't want unnecessary amounts of Ellie's slobber all over it. Those simple words led to my sweet girl throwing herself down on the floor and kicking and screaming until she finally wore herself out.

The biggest fight we've had lately revolves around Ellie's naps. For whatever reason, if Bethany is in the house, Ellie refuses to go down for a nap like she will when it's just me. Under normal circumstances, I help Ellie change into her pajamas and she hops straight into bed after giving me a hug, kiss, fist bump, high five, and "E.T." With Bethany around, things are much, much different though.

The initial call for a nap is met by the frantic screams of our daughter insisting we set a timer. I'm not sure where that originated from but she basically wants the timer to tell her when it is time to nap, not us. Once the timer goes off, we head upstairs where Ellie will begin to ask us for a bath and will eventually become angry at our refusal to bathe her at 12:00 in the afternoon. Once that argument ends and she is dressed, we'll head to her bedroom.

As soon as we arrive in her room, Ellie will begin requesting that we rock her. While we have no qualms with doing so at bedtime, that has never been the case at nap time and Ellie knows it. For the record, even if she is rocked, more fights ensue whether it be over the volume of her music or how she wants us to turn her nightlight on and off several times. 

The nightlight in question.

Finally, the time will come to leave the room with her tucked in bed and all bedtime protocol having been followed. Before we even make it down the hall, Ellie is out of bed and screaming like a banshee for Bethany to watch her sleep. At this point, no amount of talking can calm her. Generally, what ends up happening is I have to go in and lay down on top of Ellie (not too hard) while she is kicking and screaming on the floor until she gives up and agrees to go back to bed.

Honestly, we're just really hoping that Ellie gets back in some kind of routine soon. Otherwise it's going to be a long 10 weeks until Bethany goes back to work. Ugh, it's painful just thinking about it! #DaddyWrite

I'm not sure what Ellie's doing to her brother.