The Intermission, Part 4 - Things Long Forgotten and Things Never Known

One big thing about having a new baby in the house is that it reminds one of all the things long forgotten about child rearing. I, for one, forgot about just how hard it is to keep any kind of real schedule in early weeks. Outside of me attempting to get to the gym each day and our early-afternoon viewings of 'Reba', there's not a ton of consistency in our lives. That's not the only thing I forgot though.

 

What I can only assume is a joke from an episode of 'Reba'. I don't get it.

For example, it was once common knowledge for me to cover certain parts of my daughter when changing diapers. That was likely due to my lack of quickness when it comes to diaper changes. However, now that I have a son, I seem to have forgotten about the importance of speed, efficiency, and taking preventative measures. It only takes one time of getting my face urinated on to remind why that is so important. 

It's not just the diaper changing that seems to have slipped my mind when it comes to having a new baby though. I definitely forgot about all of the crying that consistently echoes around the walls of our house. Unfortunately for me, I also forgot about just how bad I am at calming a crying baby.

It should definitely be said that my lack of proficiency at calming a crying child doesn't come from lack of trying. Instead, it seems to come from one of two sources. The first being that I'm pretty sure Ethan can sense my apprehension and lack of confidence when it comes to calming all that ails him. Despite my best intentions, it seems that it doesn't matter how much I hold him, talk to him, bounce him, or sway with him. The boy will not calm. Of course, I'm guessing that it also has something to do with the fact that there's something special about Bethany to him. After all, she is his source of food in the world.

I'm not sure if it's any consolation or not but at least I'm not just discovering things I've forgotten. I'm also learning about things I've never known. For example, before today, I never knew just how difficult it is to tie a simple ponytail or a pair of pigtails. I should add that this wasn't required knowledge for me until Bethany's purchase of Ellie-sized hair ties over the weekend.

After Ellie finished her daily nap, I met her in the bathroom to assist her in changing back into her clothes. As part of those duties, Ellie had but one simple request: to put her hair up in pigtails. After watching Bethany do so a couple of times, I didn't figure it would be too difficult. Unfortunately I was very, very wrong. 

Obviously the biggest hurdle for me to overcome was my own lack of skill. However, things were also complicated by Ellie's status as a moving target. Seriously, you try successfully putting hair ties in someone's hair as they're spinning in circles in front of you.

Lucky for me, I have a wife who understands my shortcomings in life. She also knew the best way to help me overcome them is through practice. Therefore, her thought was to allow me to practice making pigtails on her. Even though she wasn't satisfied with the final product, I feel like it wasn't too bad for my first attempt. What say you, dear readers? #DaddyWrite

 

The Intermission, Part 3 - Who Knew the Baby Would Be the Easy One?

I feel like I'm starting to get really good at counting. That'll happen when a person decides to go and have two kids rather than just one. Now, instead of simply having to look after one kid, we have to keep tabs on two. While that seems rather obvious, one never really knows how things will change until the time comes.

I feel that this is a good opportunity for me to brag on Ethan for being the easiest baby ever. Despite our little ER adventure, he's basically been a dream. In fact, the only time he ever cries or shows any kind of distress is during diaper changes. I guess there's also occasional cries when he's ready to be fed but that's really pretty common. It's a long ways from the days of keeping earplugs readily available in every room of our house for Ellie.

Good baby. Nice baby.

Speaking of Ellie, she has actually been the biggest cause of stress in our lives since Ethan was born. I don't say that to be mean but that doesn't make it any less true. I've long written of Ellie's unyielding love for her mother or if I haven't, I always meant to. Basically what it all boils down to is that if Bethany is home, Ellie wants her nonstop attention.

It really doesn't matter what Bethany is doing. Just know that Ellie has to be right alongside her. This includes times such as feeding Ethan or taking a bathroom break. Believe it or not, Ellie has even morphed into Bethany's own personal alarm clock as she wakes up each day to the sight of two blue eyes staring her in the face.

The real difficulty with Ellie though has been in managing the tantrums that have become commonplace over the last couple of weeks. I'm not sure if it's due to her sleep quality being diminished due to Ethan's presence or something else but tantrums from Ellie have now become a daily part of our life. 

It's weird because there is no rhyme or reason to what's going to set her off. For example, one of Ellie's tantrums from today was a direct result of me telling her to stop licking a blanket. Yes, I had to tell my two-year-old that it is not socially acceptable behavior to lick a blanket. Never mind the fact that it was my blanket and I really didn't want unnecessary amounts of Ellie's slobber all over it. Those simple words led to my sweet girl throwing herself down on the floor and kicking and screaming until she finally wore herself out.

The biggest fight we've had lately revolves around Ellie's naps. For whatever reason, if Bethany is in the house, Ellie refuses to go down for a nap like she will when it's just me. Under normal circumstances, I help Ellie change into her pajamas and she hops straight into bed after giving me a hug, kiss, fist bump, high five, and "E.T." With Bethany around, things are much, much different though.

The initial call for a nap is met by the frantic screams of our daughter insisting we set a timer. I'm not sure where that originated from but she basically wants the timer to tell her when it is time to nap, not us. Once the timer goes off, we head upstairs where Ellie will begin to ask us for a bath and will eventually become angry at our refusal to bathe her at 12:00 in the afternoon. Once that argument ends and she is dressed, we'll head to her bedroom.

As soon as we arrive in her room, Ellie will begin requesting that we rock her. While we have no qualms with doing so at bedtime, that has never been the case at nap time and Ellie knows it. For the record, even if she is rocked, more fights ensue whether it be over the volume of her music or how she wants us to turn her nightlight on and off several times. 

The nightlight in question.

Finally, the time will come to leave the room with her tucked in bed and all bedtime protocol having been followed. Before we even make it down the hall, Ellie is out of bed and screaming like a banshee for Bethany to watch her sleep. At this point, no amount of talking can calm her. Generally, what ends up happening is I have to go in and lay down on top of Ellie (not too hard) while she is kicking and screaming on the floor until she gives up and agrees to go back to bed.

Honestly, we're just really hoping that Ellie gets back in some kind of routine soon. Otherwise it's going to be a long 10 weeks until Bethany goes back to work. Ugh, it's painful just thinking about it! #DaddyWrite

I'm not sure what Ellie's doing to her brother.

The Intermission, Part 2 - Ethan and the ER

There are certain topics that when posted are pretty much guaranteed to generate some hits. This is probably one of them. I should add the disclaimer here that per the wise counsel of my wife, I will be slightly vague. Never fear though as all of the high points will undoubtedly be revealed.

How my vagueness makes readers feel...

Today marked a big day for Ethan as it was time for his very first doctor's visit. With Ellie, this ended up being less a joy and more a frustration due to the fact that she spent most of the first year of her life at the bottom of the growth charts. Therefore there was always much concern from her doctor. I will say that some of it was probably warranted but most of it was probably an overreaction. That's ok though.

Back to Ethan. Amazingly enough, everything seemed great at first glance. For starters, he's actually almost back to his birth weight and only needs two more ounces to do so. Amazing for a child who hasn't even spent a full week out of the womb. He's also grown an inch longer to boot! 

While most things seemed pretty solid, it so happens that our doctor did find one cause for concern. Unfortunately for us (and Ethan), this was not something he could solve in the office. With that, Bethany sent me a text saying to get Ellie ready because we would be heading to Children's Mercy. Confusion pretty much reigned supreme at that moment until she called me with some additional details. As soon as Bethany arrived home, we quickly loaded up Ellie and headed south towards downtown. 

Upon arriving at Children's Mercy, imagine my surprise to have to go through a double check-in process. Not only did we have to do a formal registration with the front desk, but we also had to do a check-in with perhaps the least engaging security guard of all time. After a few minutes, we finally made it to the jungle-themed waiting room where I entertained Ellie with every toy in the place while Bethany waited with Ethan. Finally, the time had arrived for us to be called back.

Pictures weren't allowed inside the emergency room (obviously) so please enjoy this picture of my ID tag.

As soon as we reached our room, the first thing I was instructed to do was remove Ethan's diaper for a nurse to examine everything. Unfortunately for me, I was suddenly overcome by an extremely warm feeling while doing so. You see, Ethan had chosen that exact moment to empty his bladder all over the diaper, his clothes, my hand, and subsequently, the floor. Luckily for us, I had packed a change of clothes for just such an occasion.

With that, the nurse left the room, promising to be back shortly with the doctor. Now, I don't know if you have ever tried to keep a toddler occupied in a hospital emergency room but it's not an easy process. That's especially true when the only toys in said room are attached to the wall and kind of broken. Therefore, Ellie made her own entertainment by continually hopping on and off the bed and relentlessly wheeling a stool across the room. Mercifully, the ER doctor soon arrived.

After checking Ethan thoroughly, the ER doctor decided he needed to seek an outside opinion. With that, he snapped a photo of the issue and forwarded it to another department. He then left the room, essentially sentencing us to another round of bed jumps and stool pushing. Finally the specialist arrived to check out the issue. 

For the record, specialist might be a bit nice as this resident was somewhat unprepared for what he was getting into. Again, poor Ethan's diaper was removed so everything could be surveyed. About this time, poor Bethany was forced into starting her own "medical" career as she was asked to help hold Ethan down for his examination. Next thing we knew, a cart full of medical tools were being wheeled in and Bethany was not only having to hold down our son, but was also having to unwrap tools for the resident. About this time, Ellie became overwhelmed by everything going on and we stepped out just as a pair of ER doctors headed into our room to relieve Bethany of the duties she neither wanted or asked for. 

A visual representation of Bethany's medical career.

After spending a few minutes roaming the halls, Ellie and I wandered back into the exam room to find that everything was just fine. Well, almost everything. You see, there had been some casualties in the battle. In his frustration/anger/discomfort (whatever you want to call it), Ethan had made his displeasure known by urinating all over not one, not two, but all three doctors. Bonus points for the fact that he sprayed one doctor in the face so much that he had to step back to dry off his glasses before continuing.

With that, it was time for us to head home and bring a close to our morning of adventures. We were certainly grateful that nothing terrible was wrong with our son and it was an easy fix. We were also reminded that visiting the ER is never a fun filled time by the visage of an Amish father carrying a child underneath a pile of blankets while a concerned looking mother and grandmother trailed along behind. 

On a positive note, at least Ethan is now forever in the Children's Mercy database. I can say that with certainty since the lady checking us in actually found my results from my liver biopsy circa 2000 when listing me as Ethan's father. You're welcome for two generations of business, Children's Mercy! #DaddyWrite

The bookkeepers at Children's Mercy upon hearing that news.

The Intermission, Part 1 - New Beginnings

Hey, in case you're wondering, the final count for #DaddyWrite, pre-Ethan, ended up being 591 days. Hopefully you didn't really think that I would be done chronicling the lives of Ellie and now Ethan after only a couple of years. There's plenty more of potential opportunities to embarrass my children by chronicling their existence.

Obviously there are quite a few ways in which this post differs from the ones that have preceded it. For one, there's two kids now instead of just one. For another, Bethany's actually home with me which brings us to the title. It just didn't feel right to have a day counter running during Bethany's maternity leave. It also didn't feel right to just not write altogether for 12 weeks. Therefore, we have The Intermission.

As I write this, I'm actually the only member of my household that is still awake. Both kids are asleep so Bethany took the opportunity to get some much deserved rest of her own. Personally, I can't think of many better ways to end our first weekend as a family of four than by having Ethan snoozing in a bouncy seat just a couple of feet away. 

As Bethany so eloquently reminded me today, "someone" needed to write down some of the stories from our first four days at home with Ethan. Also, for the record, "someone" was code for me. For the record, these stories may or may not be in order as the last four days have kind of run together in my head.

From the time she returned to our house late Thursday afternoon, Ellie has been pretty much obsessed with her younger brother. It really doesn't matter what he's doing or where he is; she wants to be a part of it. If Bethany is feeding him, Ellie has her face right there watching every drink he takes. if it's time for a diaper change, there's Ellie precariously perching herself on top of the diaper pail in an attempt to see everything there is to see (Poor Ethan, he can't even hide his shame).  Of course, there are plenty of hugs and kisses for Ethan as well.

I have two stories from the first four days that are definitely ones to remember. The first revolves around what is currently Ellie's favorite library book, "One Special Day". It's a cute little story that ends with a little boy named Spencer meeting his new baby brother. As we had been reading this book for a couple of weeks before Ethan's arrival, Ellie had plenty of time to memorize all of the pictures in the book. Memorizing the pictures wasn't the only thing she wanted to do though. She also wanted to reenact them.

To be more specific, there was one particular photo she wanted to act out with Ethan. The final page of the book shows Spencer and his new baby brother laying side-by-side on a picnic blanket outdoors. Although it was way too cold for Ethan to be outside, that didn't stop Ellie from living her dream. First, she carefully spread out a quilt on the living room floor. Then, she laid down on the quilt by herself. Finally, she had us lay Ethan down next to her and directed us to take a picture of the moment. When you compare it to the picture in the book, it's actually a pretty good reenactment.

Believe it or not, Ellie actually took the photograph on the left.

I realize I've already droned on for over 500 words so I'll make this next story quick. Ellie and I headed to church this morning if for no other reason than to give Bethany and Ethan a break from big sister's constant vigilance. It wasn't a bad morning if I do say so myself. Once we arrived home though, Ellie's feelings for her brother became crystal clear. Rather than sitting down and taking her boots off like she normally would, Ellie instead made a beeline up the stairs to the living room where Ethan and Bethany were. She then ran straight to Ethan's bouncy seat, wrapped her arms around his little body, and loudly proclaimed, "I missed you, Ethan!".

I'd say that story right there sums up Ellie's love for her baby brother more than just about anything else could. Here's hoping that love continues to grow for days, weeks, months, and years to come. #DaddyWrite

Don't worry. There's still plenty of time for tomfoolery in House Holt.