Day 170 - "Bob"

I love myself a good comedy. Probably because I like to laugh. And I like to smile. If you don't like to laugh and/or smile, then you may have depression. If so, stop reading this blog and seek help immediately. I mean that legitimately. I hadn't intended to have a public service announcement within the confines of this blog post, but sometimes things happen naturally and I just roll with it. 

Where was I? Oh yes, I like to laugh and smile. Preferably at a good comedy. While he's not the greatest actor of all time, if I'm making a list of guys who make me laugh, Bill Murray might be near the top. Between 'Ghostbusters', 'Caddyshack', 'Groundhog Day', and 'What About Bob?', he's been in some great comedies. I didn't even mention his epic cameo in 'Zombieland'. While I'm more than aware of Bill Murray, I don't think I realized until today that Ellie is too.

Nope Bill, you can't. I intentionally left off 'Space Jam' for a reason.

In the past couple of weeks, Ellie has really enjoyed finding her voice. I will say that we're pretty sure she doesn't exactly know what she's saying yet. One of her favorites is saying something that kind of resembles "Ma". I actually refuse to admit she's saying it because I'm determined "ma" won't be her first word. While it's not a bad first word, I clearly have higher hopes for Ellie's vocabulary. If I have to guess based upon her context for using "ma", it actually seems like she's trying to say "more". As in, I'm hungry; stuff more food in my face immediately or I shall commence with additional whining/screaming.

Now, of course, there are other sounds that Ellie is making. One of her favorites is making a high-pitched squeal. If I'm being 100% honest, half of her sounds result in me looking around for R2-D2, the lovable astrotech droid from the 'Star Wars' films. Then there's something that resembles the chorus of "Poker Face". "Po-po-po-po".  I cannot claim to understand the significance of that one though. Maybe she just really likes Lady Gaga?

"How could you be mean to R2? He's like a puppy." **inside joke**

Ellie's newest word, for lack of a better term, showed up for the first time today. It just sounds like she's saying "Bob" with a Wisconsin accent. While I'm not certain why Ellie would have a Wisconsin accent (even though her aunt was born there), it's kind of what it sounds like. Although, if I'm being honest, most of my experience with Wisconsin accents came from watching "That '70's Show" and the character of Bob Pinciotti. 

Ellie's love of the word, "Bob", doesn't seem to be tied to any one thing in particular. She's an equal opportunity offender when it comes to "Bob". It doesn't matter if she's eating, playing, bathing, or trying to fall asleep. "Bob" is right there on her lips. It even had me thinking today just why she would learn to say "Bob". It's likely that she's just engaging in infant babble. However, that's not as much fun as me trying to come up with a certain reason behind its use.

The first thing to pop into my head is that she's just a huge Bill Murray fan and is honoring his role in "What About Bob?" . She could also be thinking of my high school janitor, Bob  Blair, who was immortalized by the Savannah choir at his retirement pep assembly (yes, you read that right) with a song set to the immortal tune of "Barbara Ann". My favorite conspiracy theory is this: Ellie is telling me the future. In other words, her future husband is named Bob and her first word is actually his name. That's some big-time romantic stuff on the level of The Notebook if I do say so myself. 

With that kind of special talent, I should really write a romance novel. Because that's a manly thing to do. Or I'll just watch 'What About Bob?' for the seventeenth time. I haven't decided yet but I'll let you know when I do. #DaddyWrite

Day 168 - Dry Clean Only?

I may have finally reached that moment. I knew it would come eventually but it took me until day 168 to reach this point. I, uh, don't really remember what Ellie-related topics I've broached and what ones I've ignored up to this point. Yes, there's a plethora of nice stories about me taking Ellie on walks. There are some nice stories about me taking her to a store. There's occasional stories about her melting down and hating life. There's even stories about the epic nastiness that lies within her diapers. However, for the life of me, I can't remember if I've written about the story that lies before you. Also, I couldn't find it when reviewing past blog posts. Perhaps there is a downside to the somewhat random form of naming I've embraced on #DaddyWrite. 

It never ceases to amaze me just how easy Ellie is to entertain. I know for a fact I've written about her magic box of junk mail and old wrapping paper in our living room that always brings her joy. There's other things she enjoys. The concept of opening and closing our kitchen cabinets has become an easy distraction for her, especially when she's sad. Not to mention just looking out the window and watching the world pass her by. However, Ellie's favorite activity of all is doing the laundry. 

Now, by that, I don't mean she does the laundry by herself. Although that would be really incredible. I feel like that's a talent I could market and sell (Come see the amazing laundry baby. Tickets are only $19.95 for adults and $9.95 for children). No, she more just loves helping me do the laundry. You're currently thinking something along the lines of "How does an infant help do the laundry?" 

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't look like this...

Easy, once the washer has completed its cycle, I crack open the door and stand back for a minute. Inevitably, Ellie will stand up and begin yanking clothes out. Not only that but she will pass them up to me as I stuff them inside the dryer. I even make certain to tell her "Thank you" after each piece of laundry is received because I don't want her to feel unappreciated. Once that task is done, I turn the dryer on and let it run. When it finishes is when the fun really starts.

Since she won't get wet, I actually place Ellie inside the dryer as I unload. While it seems really weird to place my baby in the dryer (I don't turn it on, I swear), she loves it. In fact, she actually starts to hoard socks and underwear as soon as I place her inside. Don't ask me why those are her favorites. I'm guessing that they are just the lightest weight items for her to grab.

Hey look, it's a baby in a dryer...

Once all of the heavy stuff is out, Ellie gets to come out of the dryer and I hold her as we unload her personal stash. One by one, I'll pull items out and hand them to Ellie. She then promptly drops each item into the laundry basket at my feet. The best part is the cute baby laugh that accompanies each successful drop.

I feel like I have a great long-term social experiment ahead of me. Simply put, how long will Ellie be intrigued by laundry? Better yet, how long will she want to actively participate in laundry day? When I was younger, you couldn't pay me enough to do my own laundry. I was more likely to perform the sniff test to see if I could get away with wearing something. As luck would have it though, I don't think women participate in the sniff test. At least not that I have noticed. #DaddyWrite

P.S. Sorry if you've heard something along the lines of this story before. My lack of imagination can't be helped... 

I think that might be the American dream...

Day 167 - I'm Gonna Live Where the Green Grass Grows

As Ellie grows, she is continuing to become more acutely aware of her surroundings. Specifically, she distinctly understands the difference between indoors and out. Yes, outdoors is significantly more green which is probably the first thing she noticed. It also is a lot brighter, occasionally much colder or warmer, and home to a multitude of allergens. Even more than that, she flat out knows outside is a place she wants to be. Anytime curtains are pulled or blinds are raised in our house, Ellie will immediately find her way over to the window and stare intensely at the world beyond the glass. Taking that into account, I try to get her outside at least once a day for a few minutes to get some fresh air and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors.

"Well, I'm outside. I'm kind of trapped though..."

Of course, there are times now and then when Bethany or I have to be outside for a particular reason and Ellie is unable to join. One example of this is yard work. Let's be real; there's probably no safe way to operate a push mower with one hand while holding a ten-month-old with the other. Even if I could finagle a way to make that happen, I don't believe I could ever pull the cord and hold the emergency stopping bar at the same time to get the mower running. Truth be told, there are days that our mower doesn't even want to start under normal circumstances.

I believe in you plaid-shirted, bearded man!

On Monday evening after Bethany arrived home from work, I promptly changed into some old clothes, officially passed Ellie off to her mother, and headed outside to mow the grass. Since it had been at least a few weeks since I'd had the chance to mow, our lawn was looking pretty pitiful. Between the abundance of dandelions and tall grass above your ankles in some places, we had temporarily become the blight of the neighborhood. As I got the mower running and began making my laps around the front yard, I looked up and saw tiny stands of blonde hair and bright blue eyes just over the window sill. That's right, Ellie was watching me intently to see what I was doing. 

"Dad, I can see you!"

Now, I personally assumed that Ellie would lose interest in watching me mow quickly. After all, there's not much excitement in doing so. At least there isn't yet. We're getting ever closer to some network producing The World Lawn-Mowing Championships. It's likely going to be on FS1, HGTV, or something like Spike TV (Spike TV is still a thing, right?). As I continued to make laps around the yard, I continually saw Ellie's blue eyes peering through the glass following me intently. Once I finally finished the front yard and headed around back, it didn't take long for a set of blinds in our basement to go up so that Ellie could continue watching me go in circles.

I absolutely love the fact that Ellie enjoyed watching me take part in such a mundane task. It means one of two things. Either she really does love me or she was really interested by me walking in circles mowing. If it's the second one, then I can't wait to introduce her to NASCAR. If she likes it as much as watching me mow, then I know how we'll be spending a lot of our Sundays to Bethany's possible chagrin. #DaddyWrite

I immediately regret not purchasing this onesie for Ellie...

Day 165 - The Science of It All

Over the past year-plus, Bethany and I have found ourselves totally hooked on the iPad game, Trivia Crack. We've set the goal for ourselves of trying to unlock every special power-up in the game. And yes, I realize that it's kind of ludicrous to be talking about power-ups in a game created to showcase your own knowledge. Bethany and I have found that the game becomes much easier when we work as a team. I handle the meaningless stuff like sports and entertainment. We somehow struggle together through history, art, and geography. Meanwhile, Bethany is an absolute mastermind at science. Well, as a result of 351 games of Trivia Crack to date, I find myself noticing more and more of the principles of science in everyday life. Ok, that might be a slight fabrication, but stay with me for the sake of the blog. I implore you! 

Today actually started out really funny. Due to a sleepless night for little Miss Ellie, I found myself taking up residence in our spare bedroom sometime during the 2:00 am hour. At least I think it was the 2:00 am hour (it's hard to remember sometimes). Around 6:00 am, I was startled out of a deep slumber by the sudden slamming of the bedroom door. I jolted up with a start and through sleepy eyes looked around confused. 

Finally, through the small amount of light sneaking around the edge of the curtains, I saw the culprit. There was Ellie standing up against the door pawing at it in an attempt to get it open. In her boundless curiosity, she had silently crept into the spare bedroom and began playing with the door. Unfortunately, Ellie's understanding of basic physics sometimes eludes her. Her mass versus the relative lack of mass the door has when on hinges allowed her to easily shut it when putting the smallest amount of weight on it, thereby trapping her (How's that for a science explanation, Bill Nye?). Before I could pry myself out of bed, Bethany opened the door, standing in the doorway as Ellie's heroine, there to save her from her predicament.

This is probably how Bethany looked to Ellie in that moment. (P.S. Check that face carefully)

Sadly, that would not be Ellie's only science lesson of the day. After awaking from her morning nap and getting her bottle around 10:30, I took Ellie upstairs for a diaper and wardrobe change before engaging in playtime. Now, one of Ellie's favorite games has become hide-and-seek. To tell the truth, it's not so much "hide and I'll find you" as it is "I'm going to go around this corner and poke my head back around within five seconds." So generally, for the sake of the game, I don't really follow her when she's playing it as she always returns shortly. 

After several rounds, Ellie exited her bedroom with me waiting just within the door frame for her inevitable return. As I waited, it didn't take long before I heard a loud boom followed by Ellie's unmistakable screams. I scurried down the hall to see Ellie sitting at the bottom of our stairs, looking around and crying. I quickly scooped up my daughter and calmed her screams, checking each of her limbs and her head for bumps and bruises. Once I was satisfied that she was fine, I embraced my inner Sherlock Holmes in an attempt to deduce what happened.

You're not my Sherlock...

That's my Sherlock!!!

Best as I can tell, Ellie had wandered near the edge of the six-steps and dropped her pacifier. As it rolled down the stairs, I believe she was overcome with a desire to retrieve it even though we've trained her not to attempt going down the stairs. Seriously. She normally sits at the top of the staircase and whines if she wants to go down a level. I'm guessing Ellie gingerly stuck one hand over the ledge before gravity took over with her rolling down the stairs and landing at the bottom in shock.

Honestly, I felt absolutely terrible about what had transpired. In fact, I was convinced that if there was an award for world's worst father, I'd be a shoe-in. Or at least second place to Michael Jackson during that time that he held Blanket over a balcony. There is good in every bad though. For me, I learned to never take my eyes off the baby for a second even if I believe I can trust her. 

For Ellie? She further built upon her burgeoning science knowledge in an attempt to gain her very own television show. The title? "Science Jolt with Ellie Holt" of course. #DaddyWrite