Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Day 1,640 - Big Feelings and Little People

Do you ever notice your personality or attitude shifting with the changes in seasons? Some folks definitely find themselves suffering from seasonal depressions as the weather turns. Maybe it’s brought on by the holidays or a lack of fresh air and limited physical activity. Regardless of the cause, it’s certainly a real thing.

In House Holt, we’re definitely seeing a shift in attitudes happening right now, especially with Ethan. I’m not so certain that it’s due to any kind of seasonal depression for them though. Instead, I think it’s primarily due to the fact that they are little people who happen to have big emotions. Unfortunately, sometimes when that is the case, those little people have not yet learned how to fully control said emotions.

For Ethan, that really raised itself last week at K-Prep. Between Thanksgiving break and Bethany being off work, things were certainly not the way that they normally are. While we didn’t notice any issues at home, there definitely were issues at school. Each day, Ethan’s teacher sends home a brief note that basically lets the parent know what their child was like on that day. Normally Ethan is “graded” as being happy and having a good attitude. However, during this instance, Ethan’s report said that he was sad and kind of mopey. In addition, it also stated that he cried because he missed his dad. How heartbreaking is that? The little man had become so accustomed to being around when school wasn’t in session that he cried at being separated. Never fear though as it seems like Ethan’s tears didn’t last long once he got properly distracted.

However, that wasn’t the last time Ethan would shed tears over missing someone or something. That very scenario unfolded today at Quiet Time. For most kids, quiet time is just a time to play alone. I’m pretty open with my kids that Quiet Time is as much for me as it is for them. For Ethan though, Quiet Time is generally an excuse for him to snuggle in his bed and take a nap. In fact, today, he was very open that was his plan. Therefore, imagine my surprise when I heard my son sobbing away upstairs. I listened for a few minutes before deciding that I should intervene.

When I opened the door to his room and went in, Ethan was curled up in his bed, sobbing uncontrollably. When I first asked him what was wrong, I guess he was embarrassed because he replied, “Nothing.” When I pressed again, he told the truth; he couldn’t find his stuffed cat, “Cat,” and was totally inconsolable at the loss. When I offered to help him find “Cat,” his feelings changed pretty quickly. While sometimes finding “Cat” is a massive operation, in this instance it was relatively simple. It was still in Ellie’s bed where the two kids had snuggled this morning before getting up. Once he had Cat safe in his arms, Ethan was cool as a cucumber and ready for that nap.

While it can definitely be stressful to help my kids learn how to deal with some of these big emotions, I also acknowledge that it’s a good thing. For one thing, they’re becoming more well-rounded human beings with an understanding of their feeling and how to deal with them. For another, it stretches me as a parent by forcing me to be more empathetic and sympathetic to their plights. Not my strong suit but I’m trying to keep learning! After all, the day I stop learning, that’s the day that I probably don’t have kids in the house anymore. No one wants that!

#DaddyWrite

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