I feel like it would be an interesting case study for people
to share the time they were angriest at their children. What did those kids do
to make their parents angry? How did the parents respond to said anger? Was it
in a positive or negative manner? Also, do the parents and/or child learn
anything from the situation? It's that last question that I'm especially
interested in today.
It goes without saying that Mondays are always difficult.
Ellie and Ethan have both gotten used to Bethany being around for the weekend
and don't really enjoy having just me around after two fun-filled days with
their mommy. It just so happened that today ended up being a bit more difficult
than the typical Monday. The main reason for that being that everyone (not just
Ethan) was more than a little tired.
Ellie was tired because she got the pleasure of staying up
later than normal last night. Since we knew in advance the college life group
we lead would have smaller attendance than normal, we decided to give the kids
a night off meaning I would go solo. Bethany, taking an idea from me, decided
the time was perfect to do something really fun for Ellie. The two of them
huddled under a blanket on the couch and whiled away the evening watch
'Ratatouille' together. The lone problem was that Ellie was definitely
exhausted by the time it ended.
 |
| "I'm sorry." |
As for me, my tiredness was due to a bunch of weird spasms
that I began suffering overnight. After waking up over the 2:00 hour, I became
completely unable to get comfortable as my chest and upper back was continually
spasming. By the time I finally was able to go back to sleep around 4:30, I had
already spent thirty-plus minutes in a bathtub of piping hot water followed by
an hour of using a heating pad on my aching muscles. Of course, morning came
way too soon for my liking after the night I had.
For the first several hours of the day, things went largely
according to plan. In other words, Ellie began flipping out not long after
Bethany left for work. It really didn't matter what I did or said, she was
going to be unhappy. Therefore, when the time came for Ethan to take his
morning nap, I decided that Ellie needed to follow suit. Fortunately for me,
she really didn't require much convincing which left me with the opportunity to
take a short nap of my own.
Fast forward to after lunch and Ellie deciding that it was
time for her to go poop. Since Ethan and I were playing in our living room, I
just told her to let me know when she was done so I could help/monitor
clean-up. Ethan, to his credit, decided that Ellie needed help right away
rather than waiting for her to finish. With that, the little man took off up
the stairs and opened the bathroom door to peer in at Ellie.
Ellie, as one might expect, didn't appreciate the intrusion.
With me still downstairs, she leaped off the toilet, bounded across the room
and proceeded to slam the door. Unfortunately for all parties involved, Ethan
wasn't completely clear of the door. Two of his fingers had ended up slammed in between the door and the frame.
Almost immediately, the tears began welling up in Ethan's eyes and the screams
rang out as his hand both swelled and bled. I bounded up the stairs and picked
up my little man, holding him tightly as I tried to calm him.
Unfortunately for Ellie, Ethan wasn't the only one that
needed calming. My anger burned bright and deep within. You see, Ellie has
actually slammed Ethan's hand in a door on a previous occasion. Foolishly, I
believed Ethan getting his hand stuck in a door would be a one-time thing. It
was not to be though. As soon as Ethan was calmed, I turned my attention to
Ellie and began berating her for her foolish decision. In fact, I was so harsh
with her that she burst into tears. As she cried, I let her know that she would
be receiving a spanking for hurting her brother and it would come as soon as
she calmed down.
 |
| Poor little hand. |
Sure enough, once the crying ceased, the spanking came. I
honestly feel bad as I made the mistake of spanking her while still angry
resulting in the punishment hurting more than I had planned. Ellie's immediate
response was to begin crying all over again while sprinting to the sanctity of
her room. As I heard her screaming on the other side of the door, I knew I had
done wrong.
Once I finally worked up the courage to open her bedroom
door, I walked in and sat down in Ellie's rocking chair, motioning for her to
join me. She wandered over and hopped up on my lap, burying her face in my
chest. As we sat there rocking, I proceeded to apologize to her for not only
the way I spoke to her but also for spanking her in anger. Lucky for me, my
daughter is the forgiving type and immediately wrapped me in a big hug as she
continued to snuggle away.
Honestly, I feel like a good 45% of parenting is me
apologizing to my daughter for the way I handled a situation followed by me
promising I will try and learn from it. The irony being that generally I want
Ellie to learn from the way she handled the situation that got her into trouble
in the first place. Time will tell which one of us learns first. If I was a
betting man, I'd put money on Ellie figuring it out long before me though.
#DaddyWrite
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