As a guy, there are certain things that you're supposed to
be uncomfortable with. For me, one such thing has always been wandering through
a women's clothing department. It doesn't matter if Bethany is accompanying me
or not. It just feels as if I'm breaking some kind of unwritten rule and it's
only a matter of time until the proper authorities, or I guess, loss prevention
agents, are called to deal with me in harsh fashion.
Of course, the women's clothing department isn't the only
place I feel like I don't belong. As I learned this past Friday, the little
girls' department also makes me results in creeper-esque feelings. Also, for
the wordsmiths out there, can someone confirm that creeper-esque is a real (or
real enough) word?
With Ellie deep in the throes of potty training, Bethany and
I have been promising incentive after incentive to Ellie upon her success.
Chocolate chips, blueberries, grapes, screen time, the great outdoors. All have
been used to some degree of success. However, there was one thing we promised
that really got Ellie excited for potty training: the promise of owning her
very own underwear.
While we had every intention of buying Ellie her very own
underwear, we expected it to be further on down the road in our potty training
adventures. However, nothing changes a timeline like the Friday morning
discovery that we only had three diapers left.
Therefore, as soon as Target opened for the day, Ellie and I set out to stock
up, not on diapers, but on training pants and Ellie's long-awaited underwear.
 |
| For the record, typing 'underwear' into Giphy is an unsafe proposition. Therefore, feel free to enjoy Baby Groot dancing. |
The first stop inside Target was the baby department to find
a box of training pants for Ellie to try. If I'm being completely transparent,
the purchase of diapers always makes me a little uncomfortable as well. Yes,
they're not for me or anything. However, it's just easier to not admit that the
human body has a way of producing waste. For the record, I am more than willing
to concede that yes, I am completely bizarre.
After picking up the box of training pants, Ellie and I set
out on a grand quest to find underwear for her. Starting in the little girls'
department, I was first overwhelmed by just how many varieties there are.
Approximately 15 different princesses had their images gracing the front and
back of underwear. In addition, there were also Star Wars and superhero-branded
garments as well. Hardly what I expected to find in the girls' department. Despite
all of the varieties offered, there was not a single one to be found in Ellie's
size. With that, we wandered back to the baby and toddler section to search
further.
It didn't take long for us to find exactly what we were
looking for. With that, I released Ellie from the cart and set her down in
front of the rack. My expectation was that Ellie would peruse the rack until
she finally found that special underwear that would stand out to her above all
others. To my chagrin, that's not what Ellie had in mind.
Starting with a non-descript package of princess underwear,
Ellie proceeded to enthusiastically toss package after package of underwear
into the cart. It took a little time to convince her to stop but once I finally
did, there was a choice to be had.
From my point of view, I found it unlikely Ellie needed to
purchase approximately 42 pairs of underwear. Therefore, I helped her
whittle down her choices until one remained: a 10-piece package consisting of
different colors and designs. Lucky for me, there was not a single princess
to be found in said packaging.
Now that it is three days after the fact, I can assure you
that save for one very special pair of underwear, we are still relatively
unsuccessful in our potty training venture. However, if that one pair can get
us over the metaphorical hump, then we'll wash that pair each and every night.
I guess all that's left to say is Long Live the Fox Underwear! #DaddyWrite
No comments:
Post a Comment