Day 26 - "Birthdays", Photos, and Fantasy Football

Happy three months of being alive Ellie!  And a hearty congratulations to me, myself, and I for keeping her alive all of this time.  Seriously Jesse, job well done.  There's no bonus coming your way but keep up the good work all of the same.  That's ok though.  In all seriousness, it's pretty nuts to think about just how fast the first three months of her life have gone.  People always say, "Make sure you enjoy every moment.  It'll go too fast."  I always kind of just thought that was one of those things that people just say because, well, because people just say things sometimes.  You know?  But alas, it is going relatively quick.  I'm already a month and a half into this whole stay-at-home dad gig which is crazy in itself.  

One of our little traditions each month involves taking a picture of Ellie in two separate places.  One being on a soft brown blanket and the other being in a big, brown chair.  Before you ask, no, I was not an UPS driver in a former life.  I think that the reason for having these photos on brown backgrounds is because it provides great contrast for whatever she's wearing at the time.  The first couple of months of her life, Ellie had her monthly picture taken in a light green onesie.  Accented her pale complexion and blonde hair nicely.  All that jazz.  

Well, this month she had outgrown it and had to change her wardrobe a bit.  Since I was at home today, I decided to mix it up a bit.  My choice, neon yellow complete with pink flamingo on the side.  Next time we have a power outage, I know what Ellie's going to be wearing.  Photos are always fun, especially if Ellie's in a good mood.  She's not exactly Derek Zoolander when it comes to taking direction from the cameraman.  Me getting good shots involves a lot of noises and silly faces to get her attention.  So largely what I do whenever I'm in a conversation with any of my friends.  

After pictures, Ellie and I sat down for some good father-daughter bonding before her next nap.  One thing that I've been told over and over is that it's very important to talk to your baby.  The problem is that I don't really know what to talk to Ellie about so I just talk about whatever I'm doing.  At this moment, I was dissecting potential waiver choices for my fantasy football league.  I have played with the same group of guys since I was in college.  Nothing on the line but bragging rights and as the defending champion, I intend to keep those all to myself.  Now starting the season with three straight losses has brought me to the point where it's time to unleash my secret weapon.  That's right, my daughter: the fantasy prognosticator!  Now, I realize that Ellie may not have the experience yet, but she's a very lucky baby.  After all, she does have me for a dad!  After some intense back and forth, pouring over the stats together, Ellie and I came to a consensus on whom to pick.  Now, I don't know how much she knew what I was saying, but she really does enjoy the time with me engaging her in any kind of conversation.  Even if no one in the world cares about anyone else's fantasy football team.  #DaddyWrite 

Day 25 - You may experience slight mood swings...

You know that it's been a rough go of things when you're wearing the same clothes that you went to sleep in last night.  I'm experiencing that right now as I type wearing an old Chiefs t-shirt and a pair of windpants.  To top it all off, I've got some epic bedhead going on.  You might be wondering why I'm not dressed and ready for the day.  All I'm doing is staying at home with a baby, right?  Well, hold your horses and I'll tell you.  Figuratively, of course.  I don't want anyone to mess up their back by picking up a horse.

 

According to the research that Bethany has done, Ellie's currently in the midst of her three month growth spurt.  So we are getting all of the side effects that come along with this.  Namely crankiness, insomnia, and hunger (I now feel like I'm in the middle of a drug commercial; Talk to your doctor about Blank-o-cil and find out if it works for you).  To further complicate issues is the fact that Ellie's daddy lacks all knowledge of proper volume control.  Meaning, I don't realize how loud I get when I talk.  In the past two days when we have had Ellie in a beautiful, wonderful sleep, I have decided that was the time to do one of the following.

• ·         On Saturday, I cheered like an absolute nutcase at the Kansas City Royals winning a game over the Detroit Tigers to keep their playoff chances in what is essentially hospice care
• ·         On Sunday, I sang 'Sweet Home Alabama' at the top of my lungs when I heard our worship band at church strumming it while working in the sound booth

Just in case, you're wondering, I probably didn't actually need to do either of these things.  I just don't really sit down and think through things before I act all of the time.  If I had done so, then maybe I wouldn't have done those things.  Maybe I still would have though.  Just saying I didn't have time to create a pros and cons list or anything.  As a result, we found ourselves with an incredibly sleep deprived baby on Sunday night that really could not be soothed for any length of time at all.  After drawing upon all of our parental knowledge, the only two things that really got her to rest were eating and taking a ride in the car.  On a side note, I feel like "taking a ride in the car" has such a negative connotation.  That's what you promise your dog when you're taking him to the vet to be put down.

Or you know, your dog walks the car instead...

Luckily, we finally got Ellie to sleep last night even if it was well after 10:00 and we had been trying since 7:00 pm.  I'd be lying if I wasn't scared of the same thing today.  As a result, I've been afraid to do anything that might make noise while she's sleeping.  Hence, the lack of shower today.  Watching television has been totally out of the question since it's in the same room as her swing.  Radio, also not likely.  Even something simple like running the microwave made me feel like I was in a horror movie.  Constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for the monster to come get me.   

In this case, the monster clearly being my three month old daughter who weighs approximately nine and a half pounds.  Oh yeah.  Am I a big, strong man or what?  Prevailing logic says that the answer will be 'what'.  #DaddyWrite

Day 24 - Infant Linguistics 101

So there are certain days of taking care of Ellie that are picture perfect and nothing goes wrong.  And then there are days where as Moby would say, "It fell apart, it fell apart."  Luckily for me, today was one of the former instead of latter.  (Side note, does anyone else wonder how Moby has made a career of singing the same song for almost fifteen years?  Can anyone even name another Moby song?)  Honestly, it's been the picture perfect day of baby care imaginable.  Ellie and I even were able to begin the day with a three and a half mile walk.  I'm extremely grateful for all of the great weather that we've been having lately, especially early in the mornings, since it allows us to actually get out of the house for an hour or so.  Also, Ellie sleeps so well on her walks that it makes life easier.

Jason Bourne will teach you to make fun of Moby...

Upon our return home, Ellie went straight down in her swing to continue her morning nap until hunger pangs set in.  That gave me some time to just relax, catch up on the news for the day, and eat my breakfast before she woke up ready for her lunch.  Once Ellie awoke from her slumber, we headed up to her room for a diaper change, a wardrobe change, and lunch.  Most days when I'm feeding Ellie her lunch, I like to have the radio on in the background.  It's just background noise mostly to break up the silence and I frequently switch between stations.  Today, we actually listened to 610 Sports Radio which brought up a question in my mind; how many babies listen to sports radio on a near daily basis?  It has to be a real rarity.  The lone bad thing about this day has been the fact that Ellie must have a stomachache or something.  She just continually opens her mouth and lets milk just run down her entire torso until it reaches my shirt.  That's a less than optimal feeling.  In fact, my shirt is still crusty and hard from it.  Yuck!

After that, I took her to her playmat so that she could spend some time stretching.  Due to her great attitude, she was more than willing to "talk" quite a bit.  In fact, she basically brought every sound she knows to the conversation.  Now, I'm no baby linguistics expert.  I  have never played one on TV and I certainly did not stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.  However, I decided to put my best foot forward and create The Ellie Holt Complete Dictionary and Thesaurus, First Edition.  Be sure to order your edition today.  I will even sign copies for an additional charge.

• ·         Ahhhh - a typical squeal of delight; used exclusively when happy and engaged in activity.
• ·         Ooohhh - reserved for intrigue or fascination with an object or person.
• ·         Ah Ga - this sound is primarily made complete with hands in mouth; also may reference the 'American Hosta Growers Association'.
• ·         Coo - insert cute baby noise here; this is reserved for when Ellie is being engaged in conversation
• ·         Mmm - accompanied by extruded bottom lip; means that Ellie is preparing to cry or is currently fearful or something.
• ·         Uggh - Ellie uses this sound when exerting energy in an attempt to sit up, lift her head, crawl, or expel flatulence; or she wants a pair of Uggs and hasn't learned the letter 'S' yet.
• ·         Meh  - Ellie hasn't learned to say this yet but it is not from my lack of trying; a common word used by her father to show excitement, indifference, sadness, and complacency; Inflection of the voice aids in meaning.

As is the case with any dictionary or thesaurus, this will be continually updated as time passes.  I must ensure that all people know what Ellie is saying at all times.  The last thing that I want is for my baby to unintentionally offend people with such salty language.  #DaddyWrite

Sound it out...

Day 23 - Crawl towards the future

 

Today I found myself thinking about the future.  Not my future.  Not even Ellie's future.  The distant future.  Perhaps I should expand on that a bit further.   

Over the past month I've been watching through the old series 'Futurama' on Netflix.  One of those cult favorites that I remember fondly from my college years.  If you haven't heard of it, the show centers around a pizza delivery boy who falls into a cryogenic freezer in 1999 and wakes up in the year 3000.  From there, he has various misadventures with an oddball cast of characters until the show was cancelled after five seasons.  Then, there were some direct-to-DVD films and the show came back to TV for two or three more seasons.  

And now, since I've given you the complete history of a show that you've never heard of or cared about, back to the matter at hand.  Technology is pretty sweet.  It does some wicked awesome things for us.  Whether it be video chatting with family and friends, reading news in the world, or watching silly videos on YouTube, it's a really handy thing to have.  However, technology doesn't do everything for us automatically like I wish it would.

After Ellie's ridiculous nap this morning which went on for almost five hours, she woke up ready to eat.  So of course, what do I do other than get her up and let her eat happily.  Once that's completed and she's in a really good mood, I decide to take her upstairs to play.  Since she's gain the desire to sit up so much lately, we have a horseshoe shaped pillow to help prop her up in a sitting position.  It honestly looks so comfortable that I wish I had one that was my size.  The way that it totally envelopes her and supports her weight looks awesome.  

After a while, Ellie's attention span gets short so it's time to mix things up a bit by moving her to her stomach.  Like normal, she wiggles and squirms around and after a couple of minutes begins to squirm and wiggle instead.  As I lay there playing with her, I was totally stunned to see something from her I hadn't seen before.  Ellie pulled her knees underneath her which is very normal for her.  But she then followed that by putting both fists on the ground and pushing herself up to a crawling position.  This was impressive enough in itself I thought.  I was mistaken.  She then proceeded to take two crawls (I guess that's what you call the crawling equivalent of a step) before all momentum stopped.  Ellie's little arms gave out at this point and she faceplanted right into her playmat.  Of course that brought on some tears.  I don't blame her one bit.  You expect the playmat to be a place of fun and joy, not pain and suffering.  It's essentially in the name.

As I told Bethany about this via text, her response was one of great disappointment.  "Why didn't you record it for me?"  "Well, I didn't expect our two month old to decide to crawl today."  And that's how we get back here.   Since I didn't have my phone handy, this didn't get recorded which is a serious bummer.  If you've ever tried to record anything that an infant does, it's incredibly difficult.  In fact, it's nigh impossible.  The special moment will always be gone by the time you get the camera ready to go. 

Honestly, I think that it may be time to have a GoPro surgically mounted to my head to avoid missing special moments.  The problem with that is that no one will look me in my eyes anymore.  They'd just think they needed to make eye contact with the camera.   I would just end up feeling like I'm some kind of cyborg unicorn.  #DaddyWrite

I guess I'll just attach this to my hat instead of getting surgery...

Day 22 - Ellie's Very First Vlog (Abridged)

I generally prefer the old fashioned form of media.  I'm specifically referring to written word.  I enjoy the process of putting my words down on paper (or computer screen) and seeing something created from nothing.  However, there are certainly days where Ellie's schedule and/or attitude doesn't mesh well with mine in terms of the creative process.  On those days, I normally just fail to get something posted. 

Today, I decided to try something different and recorded some of my thoughts while this was ongoing.  The original cut of this thing was over five minutes long and probably a good 30% of it was really lame and pretty much unwatchable.  Therefore, I cut the fluff and got it down to a relatively cohesive format.  If this is received well, then I will definitely try to post some more video blogs in the future.  If not, I will chalk this one us as a failed experiment.  Either way, I entertained myself.  YAY!