Day 21 - Algebraic Principles of Bagel Bites Preparation 101

One thing about having a baby around has taught me is how to try and manage my time effectively.  Ordinarily, I'm not a planner at all.  I tend to prefer to just go with the flow.  Let things happen how they will.  In fact, that's one of those great differences between my wife and I.  She is the planner extraordinaire in our home.  Whether it's meals for the week or knowing what laundry needs to be done first, she's generally on the ball and already has it all figured out.  On the flip side of that coin, I tend to begin thinking about what to eat for dinner about ten minutes after hunger pangs set in.  And laundry?  I pretty much do it when I notice I have no clean clothes remaining and I'm resorting to sniffing pairs of gym shorts to see what does or doesn't smell.

Since Ellie's been born, I've actively been trying to schedule out a timeline for the day.  For example, Bethany gets Ellie out of her crib each morning around 6:00.  By that timeline, I know that I need to get her in position to take a nap around 7:30 or there will be ample freaking out.  Then I know that Ellie will wake up anytime between 10:30 and 11:30 to eat approximately four ounces of milk.  She will want to play and interact for about an hour and a half after she wakes up so that puts her wanting to sleep again between noon and 1:30 pm.  Overwhelmed yet?  I know it makes my brain hurt a little just thinking about it.  If I choose to leave the house with Ellie to go run some errands or anything, then that results in additional computations that need to be figured out.  Everyone remembers that algebra class they took when they thought, "I'll never use this."  I'm borderline having to use that just to plan my days now.  

There's so much more that actually has to be planned now outside of Ellie's schedule for the day.  Anytime Bethany and I simply want some time without Ellie, it can't come without a few complications.  First and foremost, does Ellie need a babysitter or can we just go ahead and let her stay home alone?  "Now Ellie.  Don't answer the door if there's a stranger there.  Don't use the phone to call China.  No, you can't use the stove to make Bagel Bites.  The toaster or microwave will work just fine."  

Obviously, we don't let our twelve week old daughter stay alone.  That wouldn't be prudent at all.  Anytime Bethany and I want a date, we plan ahead and find a babysitter.  Fortunately, we have so many wonderful friends, family, and random acquaintances that have offered to babysit Ellie for us.  I'm not complaining but there is something to be said for the ease of dropping everything and going somewhere whenever you want.  Now that doesn't occur without a car seat, a diaper bag, and something else I'm forgetting.  Must not be too important.  It'll come to me at some point.  Don't you hate it when you can't remember something like that?

Oh yeah, a baby!  #DaddyWrite

Day 20 - Antagonizing Infants...That could be a hit song

Nothing makes me feel worse than days where I push Ellie to tears.  It's not like I'm sitting around openly antagonizing her or anything.  Although, if I was, then that would definitely make me a bad dad.  She's not old enough to appreciate the concept of being antagonized and how that would be a way for me to show my love.  If I was actually antagonizing her right now, I think it would be something like poking her whenever she falls asleep, taunting her with a bottle, or taking Leon the stuffed lion away from her.  All horrible, no good, putrid, low-down things to do to an infant.  Also, doing none of those things would speak well for me as a human being.  Nope, me pushing Ellie to tears comes from a pretty simple source; trying to get her to sleep anywhere that is not her swing for naps.  

It's probably not a huge problem for her to nap in her swing.  It's just that the forward thinker in me sees it being a problem when she reaches that twenty-five pound weight limit.  Or when she gets so long that her feet hang over the edge of the swing.  Or when she's thirteen.  Ok, maybe some of those aren't necessarily legitimate but you know what I mean.  I actually thought I was going to have a breakthrough on this quest today.  After playing a ton in her bouncy seat, I noticed that Ellie was starting to wear out and get tired so it was time to transition to nap time.  Since she actually seemed pretty tired, I laid out her favorite blanket on our spare bed.  She doesn't roll around a ton so I figured she would be safe there.  Once I laid her down, I read her a book and then gave her a pacifier and sat in the room in the dark while she attempted to fall asleep.  As I write this, I now realize how creepy me sitting in the room while she attempted to sleep could have been.  

When I first laid her down, she was pretty calm and still but within five minutes, screaming began.  And by screaming, I mean it was so epic that I had to dig out some earbuds to put in my ears just to block some of the sound.  Once I got her calmed down, she closed her eyes, sprawled out everywhere, and drifted off to Sleepytown USA (That should really be the name of a store that sells beds).  After close to twenty minutes had passed, I heard the unmistakable sound of Ellie's cries of sheer terror.  I guess she had woken up in the dark and in a room that she barely recognized which led to severe fright.  Poor baby.  I went up to comfort her and she was actually shaking.  After getting her cooled down again, Ellie went straight to her swing to nap there in peace. 

It's apparently already a book and a song.  Not a bed store...yet!

 

If I'm being 100% vulnerable and honest, I think days where I make her violently cry like that are the worst ones to go through as a stay-at-home dad.  Even though I could easily avoid some of these by just bending to her will, I'm still trying to figure out how and when to pick battles with an infant.  I know that is a work in progress and I'll figure it out eventually.  Or die trying.  Or I'll simply go deaf.  Or run away to Canada.  I think all are possibilities.  

And just so you don't think life is all bad, here's a cute baby video that oddly begins with Ellie breaking epic wind.  It's kind of her favorite thing to do now.  Enjoy.  #DaddyWrite

Day 19 - Walking between the raindrops...

Ellie learned another very important lesson today.  I realize that there is a possibility Ellie isn't the one that should be learning these lessons.  It should probably be me learning these lessons given how Ellie is only eleven weeks old but that's beside the point.  To reiterate, Ellie learned another very important lesson today.  That lesson is to have enough sense to come in out of the rain.  At the risk of that sounding like something an old, crotchety person would say, it's true.

Also something an old, crotchety person would say...

Each day before Ellie and I set out on our walk, I check the weather by stepping out on our back porch and staring up at the sky.  It's a very scientific method, I know.  Especially when I think about the fact that I have a weather app always available on my phone.  Anyway, I used all of the scientific methods at my disposal including licking my finger to test the wind and seeing if I could feel a storm coming in my bones.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so I loaded Ellie up in her stroller and we headed on out.  

The first half of our walk was pretty uneventful until we reached our turnaround point.  Ellie was even beginning to fall asleep.  As we reached our turnaround mark, I decided to head east so as to see something different on the trip back.  Just about that time, a light sprinkle began falling from the sky.  Not thinking anything of it, I just put up the sunshade on Ellie's stroller and continued on.  Another block went by and the rain continued to pick up steam.  I began to worry a little around this time until we reached the new Casey's General Store.  As Bob Dylan would sing, we went in and gave ourselves shelter from the storm.

Interestingly enough, today was actually the Grand Opening for the store so the place was actually pretty full.  No worries though.  My baby was fast asleep so I took the opportunity to peruse the store and see if they had any Crystal Pepsi.  Alas, they did not so I kept on looking around.  Since the storm was continuing to pick up steam, I went ahead and purchased myself a lunch special of a couple of pieces of pizza and a soda.  Luckily, Ellie's stroller had a cupholder for me to sit my Root Beer since all of the tables were full.  About this time, Ellie started waking up and crying because of all the noise from the people inside so I decide to take her outside and stand under the overhang while eating my pizza.  So in other words, not near as heartwarming as the commercial with the soldier and kid eating pizza.

As I'm enjoying my slice, I hear a loud commotion to my left coming out of the front door.  Then who should appear but a six foot tall slice of Casey's Pizza.  Nothing makes you question the direction of your life more than eating a slice of pizza while moving a stroller back and forth to calm your crying baby while a person in a giant inflatable pizza costume dances right next to you in a rain storm.  Also, assisting with this revelation was the fact that multiple people started coming up to me, asking to see the baby, making conversation, and ultimately offering us a ride home.  I respectfully declined each person saying that weren't very far from home and were just going to wait out the rain.

Once the storm calmed to a sprinkle, Ellie and I proceeded on home as quickly as we could.  Like I said, Ellie learned another important lesson today.  That lesson being to always check the weather before heading on a walk.  And also to not eat pizza while standing next to an anthropomorphic slice of pizza.  #DaddyWrite

Stop ruining my lunch, Pepperoni Pete!

Day 18 - The day Ellie saw too much...

One of the most difficult things for me to do each day as a stay-at-home dad has to also be one of the world's simplest tasks.  Simply getting a shower and getting dressed each morning has become cause for celebration now.  It's kind of weird if you think about it.  Especially when you take into account the things I can achieve in the morning.  I can feed Ellie a bottle, change her diaper, wash laundry, or even do dishes.  However, I find it really hard to take care of getting myself ready outside of brushing my teeth.  That one is natural.  Ellie doesn't want my stinky mouthguard breath in her face in the morning.  I don't even want to smell my own stinky mouthguard breath in the morning.  It may just be a lack of ambition or laziness or the fact that I like to grab a nap in the mornings while Ellie takes one.

Anyway, back to me getting myself ready.  I think that the issue is twofold.  Number one, if Ellie's awake, she's generally pretty close to where I am in the morning.  Number two, it just seems weird to me to try and take a shower and change clothes with my infant daughter in the room.  if she's asleep, then that's one thing.  if she's actually awake, then that's what complicates things. See, I have this fear that I'm going to scar her for life somehow if she actually sees me in front of her without clothing on.  Odds are that won't end up being her first memory but what if it actually is?   

Now, as previously stated, I like to grab a shower when Ellie's asleep but didn't take advantage of that time this morning.  Nap time was much more important in my opinion.  Since I was planning on actually leaving the house with Ellie today to run errands, I had to time out the day where we left shortly after a feeding so that I could be back prior to her next feeding.  But since she was awake, I had to have her relatively close to where I was.  If I'm not holding her, I normally have her in the same room sitting in her bouncy seat since that entertains her for quite a while since she's learned to bounce herself.  Our master bathroom is just a bit too small to accommodate her but she was able to just sit outside the door with it open so that I could hear her.  

As I prepared to enter the shower, I was able to shut the door most of the way to avert sweet Ellie's eyes as I disrobed.  I then entered the shower halfway and reached carefully across the room to grab the door to open it so that I could keep tabs on Ellie.  Occasionally, I would peek out the door to make sure Ellie was content.  She was happily bouncing herself up and down and making cute baby noises as one is wont to do.  As I finished up, I turned off the water and immediately reached out and grabbed my towel to wrap around myself.  I obviously have to be careful with my innocent daughter's eyes.  I stood in front of the vanity and combed my hair and reached into the drawer to grab my deodorant.  After applying and putting away, I turned to head out of the room.  As I turned, my towel caught the drawer's handle just right and dislodged from my waist.  At this point, poor little Ellie is staring right up at me and all I can do is hurry out of the room to avoid scarring her permanently.

As I sit writing this, I am watching Ellie asleep in her swing.  She is occasionally having short screaming fits all while remaining asleep.  I'm worried that she may be dreaming about the day that she saw more of Daddy than she ever wanted.  #DaddyWrite

 

Day 16 - I've seen fire and I've seen rain...

Rain.  Thunder.  Lightning.  No, those are not the names of my fists (and my left foot).  Nope, not at all.  Instead, that's what happened today.  In fact, this may be the first time that I've encountered a storm of any kind in the time that I've been staying at home with Ellie.  One thing's for sure, Ellie is super frightened of storms when they occur.  I don't know if it's due to atmospheric conditions or her superbaby hearing powers, but she is not a fan.  

We started out the day really well.  Ellie actually made it through Bethany leaving for work again today because I decided to try and outthink her this week.  I realize that it's pretty odd to be discussing outthinking a baby but it's true.  As long as we stay on one of the two top levels of our house until Bethany is gone with the garage door shut, then Ellie doesn't find herself immediately #MissingMommy.  She even was willing to play for about thirty minutes after Bethany left before she was ready for a nap.  Today was certainly one of those days that I couldn't wait for that first nap to arrive since I was very tired.  I finally made it out to my first Royals game of the season last night and got back in late enough that I was really tired this morning.  Nice for me plus it gave Bethany some alone time with Ellie last night which the baby apparently snoozed through a lot of.  Guess she was worn out from yesterday after a walk, sitting up, and tummy time.

Anyway, after Ellie woke up from her first nap for a feeding, everything went pretty well until inklings of the storm arrived.  As raindrops began to plunk down upon our roof, Ellie's eyes immediately began shifting around frantically like a poker player trying to cover their bluff.  As the lightning struck outside, her mouth fell opened into a gasp and her bottom lip began to quiver.  As the thunder roared loudly, the panic set in and there was only one way for her to respond.  That's right.  Ellie vomited on our kitchen table.  

Now, you may be asking, "Why was Ellie on the kitchen table?"  I'll go ahead and tell you now.  She loves sitting up so much, provided she has help, but I get tired of having to look down to her when holding her upright.  Therefore, I had the brilliant idea today that I should just sit her on the kitchen table while holding her upright.  That way I could actually look in her baby blues while she worked so hard.  While I'm guessing her spitting up when the thunder hit was a coincidence, it's possible that she just has an epic gag reflex.  I know that I did when I was young and something made me nervous.  At least if she was going to spit up like that, it was on my side of the table.  And well, if it really bothers me, I can just spin the table around until I forget which side it was on.  Like Russian Roulette with vomit on a table instead of a gun and a bullet.  Now no one gets hurt!   

#DaddyWrite

Day 15 - How do you like your eggs?

This is Humpty Dumpty.  Everyone say "Hi, Humpty Dumpty."

He resides on a stone wall in my neighborhood and maintains quite the wardrobe that he likes to change between.  Just a couple of weeks ago, he was dressed as Pikachu because his home is a big Pokestop for Pokemon Go.  (Oh man, how this blog has degenerated now if I'm mentioning Pokemon Go.)  Anyway, Ellie and I were out for a walk today and wandered by Humpty's abode to find him ready for the Royals stretch run.  Apparently, he even has some new friends joining him for the rest of the season.  As we wandered on by, I found myself seriously thinking about some stuff.  Those that know me well know that it is very much a rarity that I'm thinking seriously.  

I found myself contemplating how over the past three years, a simple baseball team has really pulled an entire city into a level of fandom not known in quite some time.  Going from a 90 loss team to World Series Champions in four years will really do that though.  This isn't a blog post about the Royals though in terms of baseball even though I'm a huge fan.  It's more about the attitude towards life that the team represents and how I would love to see my daughter grow to embrace a similar outlook.  For those that may be unenlightened, the Royals have developed this reputation for achieving the unlikely due to an unwillingness to quit, belief in themselves, smart decision making and more often than not, luck.  As a dad wanting to raise my daughter to be a moderately successful person, these are traits that I'd love to see her personify.  Not on the baseball field, but in life.  But you know, if she wants to be the first woman to play professional baseball, that's ok with me.  Go Ellie, Go!

This was moderately difficult to stage...

Even at her young age, I already see a stubborness/bullheaded nature in my daughter that will serve her well as she grows.  While it will drive me nuts, and already does, at times, I'm proud of her for showing.  She is bound and determined to build up strength in her neck, even to the point where she hates to lay down now and wants to be sitting upright on my lap if she's awake.  Even as I watch her head wobble about, careful not to let her hurt herself, I see the determination on her face as well as the excitement in her eyes whenever she succeeds.  I don't know what exactly Ellie realizes at this stage of her life but I really hope that she's learning that if she works hard, that she can achieve whatever goal she sets her mind to.  

As she grows older, hopefully the other two goals I have for her will begin to manifest themselves.  I already have a strong belief that she will be much smarter in a book sense than I am.  At least, I keep telling myself that and I hope that's true for her sake.  What I'm more wanting to see is that she is wise with the opportunities that present themselves to her and that she will make good choices and not find herself led down a road to ruin.  And for luck.  Well, sometimes you just need a little bit of luck in order to succeed.  The Royals even needed to adopt a seemingly lucky Praying Mantis in order to turn around their season.  Whether it's winning a fantasy football championship (pretty sure my season's already over if anyone cares), or getting that dream job, luck's a bit important.  If for no other reason, it helps you believe in yourself a little more.  Even more so, knowing that God already has an awesome plan for her life mapped out and I can't wait to see what it will be.  Check Jeremiah 29:11.  

And there's the end to a sort of serious blog post.  Who knew that something like that was even remotely possible for me?  And all of this is written and published for teenage, rebellious Ellie to throw back in my face someday.  I feel the urge to compensate for this seriousness in the only way I know how. 

Also, for those wondering, I still believe the Royals will make the Postseason again this year.  Please don't mock me too incessantly if it doesn't occur.  #DaddyWrite