Day 68 - It's the 'Security Dance'!

We all crave security in life.  I don't mean security in terms of our own private police force.  Although, that would be pretty cool.  Just imagine walking anywhere surrounded by a throng of men dutifully sworn to protect you at all costs.  That's something that most of us won't experience unless we become President.  Or maybe Taylor Swift.  No, I'm talking more about that feeling of security that comes from being safe, sound, and secure.  Everyone knows that feeling of paranoia/nervousness that you get when you're in an uncomfortable environment.  And when that occurs, there's often very few things that can calm you and convince you that everything is going to be copacetic.  

So this will be Taylor's campaign slogan in 2028?

Ellie has began to show some signs of associating safety (dance?) with certain places.  For example, today with Ellie was kind of a rough day (as has been par for the course lately).  She's beginning to mature in her sleeping methods.  At the four month mark, babies transition from sleeping anywhere, anytime, anyplace to sleeping as an adult would.  The problem with that is that she can be easily startled and awoken prior to reaching her deepest sleep.  Her sleep patterns have become totally erratic to say the least and it's resulting in her being more upset than normal.  Of course, that will happen when you're waking up from what should be a three hour nap less than an hour into it.  

Whenever Ellie lets out her first cry of being awake, a countdown begins.  Not unlike a shot clock in basketball, I have 24 to 30 seconds to hightail it to wherever she's sleeping and delicately shove a pacifier through her pursed lips.  Easier said than done especially when her head is rapidly turning from side-to-side.  In case you're wondering, Ellie will wake up if you accidentally shove a pacifier in her eye while attempting to hit her mouth.  Anyway, if Ellie cries for too long unaided, she will be completely awake with no chance of falling back asleep immediately.  This afternoon was one of those instances where she fussed for too long before I reached her and thus there was no putting her back to sleep.

Put up the ball; put it up now!!!

Unfortunately for me, not only would Ellie not resume sleep, she would not resume normal infant activities.  Meaning, she basically would do nothing but scream.  On and off for an hour, anything I did was met with Ellie's screams.  Feeding, changing, swaddling, cuddling.  All were failures.  I even tried tummy time in my desperation.  Finally all out of ideas, I decided to try placing her in her car seat.  To my surprise, she immediately ceased all noise and began smiling at me.  I just decided to roll with it, buckle her in, and hit the road for a little adventure.  So to Smithville, we would go.  The library and the discount store we would see.  

While I'm glad Ellie associates her car seat with being a safe zone, I would prefer to find something else sooner rather than later.  As Ellie gets bigger, it would be nice for her to have either a stuffed animal or a blanket that she can cling to for security from the monster under the bed or whatever kids are afraid of.  I mean, can you mentally envision my daughter, fast asleep in her bed, clutching her car seat closely as she drifts off to Dreamland?  No, I can't either.  I guess I could always try my childhood security blanket, "Bee-Bo".  I even know what box it's in at my parents' house.  Surely it's not so brittle that it would fall apart at her first touch.  Right?  #DaddyWrite.

 If I was Ellie, I'd probably be frightened by this...

Day 67 - The one where I tacked on things I'm thankful for...

Hey, I'm back.  In case you've been really concerned, I didn't die.  Nope, instead I just came down with a really nasty case of the flu.  Total truth here, I actually spent twenty-four straight hours in bed one day last week.  If I hadn't felt like walking death, then it'd be a really cool accomplishment.  Given the circumstances though, not cool at all.  I actually was feeling better by Wednesday and considered blogging that day.  However, I had a little discussion with myself first.  It went something like this, "Self, you've been really sick for a few days now.  You could blog today, but keep in mind that you won't be able to blog on Thursday or Friday because you'll have a Bethany around.  Therefore, the blog wouldn't count as a real day because you had your wife around.  So, rather than have one random day to account for, you should probably just take it off and have a blogless week."  So after that lengthy consideration, I chose to just take last week off so welcome back to #DaddyWrite!

I noticed something that I find really interesting about Ellie today.  She actually seems really happy to be home today after a weekend of traveling and being with family.  I mean, sure, I always enjoy getting back home after a time away.  There's something about being back in your own environment and just getting back into a normal routine that is really nice.  That being said, I didn't really expect that from a five month old.  I always kind of figured that she was just happy wherever as long as Bethany and I were present and accounted for.  That being said, she definitely is showing some characteristics that show her happiness to be home.

Anytime Ellie has to sleep away from home, it definitely impacts her quality of sleep.  Going from her normal napping place of her swing to her car seat or a pack-and-play or a bed definitely impacted her attitude over the weekend.  We have certainly found that if Ellie doesn't sleep every two hours, she begins to get really frustrated.  In light of that, my goal for this week was very evident; make sure the baby sleeps.  I feel like I've been able to do just that.  Putting her down this morning around 6:30, Ellie actually stayed put in her swing until 11:00!  She was definitely worn completely out after a long weekend away for the holidays.  

Once Ellie woke up, I decided the most humane thing to do for my five month old who had been away from home all weekend was to stuff her in her car seat and take her out of her home again.  I had a good reason; we really needed milk.  Going to the grocery store as a dad alone with a baby is always one of my favorite experiences.  First and foremost, it really bucks social norms so you definitely get some interesting glances.  Even more so, I love to talk to Ellie as we're walking up and down aisles explaining what we're seeing, telling her what's tasty and what's not, and cracking dad jokes.  I also love how when you pass by another shopper, a phenomenon not unlike that which you see on the highway after a wreck occurs.  That's right, baby rubberneckers are alive and well.  People will always slow their rate of speed and turn, hoping to catch a glimpse of the baby as it passes by.  Once our groceries were purchased, we headed on home so that Ellie could bask in the comfort of her own home for the remainder of the day.

As I write this, I feel that I would be remiss if I neglected to even mention Thanksgiving.  It was actually an incredibly enjoyable weekend, outside of a third of Bethany's family suffering from flu-like symptoms.  Of course that could be partly because I discovered the song, 'Beans & Cornbread.'  That's neither here nor there though.  On Ellie's first Thanksgiving, I find myself thankful for two things above all.  Number one is Ellie.  I am so thankful that she is happy and healthy and absolutely love how her little personality continues to flourish.  Not a day goes by that she doesn't make me laugh and smile at least a little bit regardless of how bad things might be going.  I'm also thankful for my current lot in life as a stay-at-home dad.  Yeah, I like to emasculate myself quite a bit as a result of this "job" but it's actually really great.  I am having the opportunity to not only recharge and figure out what to do with my life long-term, but I'm able to be arguably the formative figure in the first year of my daughter's life.  Sorry to Bethany if I'm being a little cocky in saying so.  Oh wait, can I also be thankful for gifs on iOS 10?  If so, then I choose to be thankful for gifs on iOS 10.  The other stuff I said isn't that important...  #DaddyWrite

Day 63 - We're Going to "Roll" Around the Clock Tonight

My, oh my, Miss Ellie.  Have you had yourself a full twenty-four hours or what?  Now I realize every day for an infant may be a little full.  At least take yourself back to when you were in elementary school and remember how long it seemed to take each year for your birthday to arrive.  Or Christmas.  Or Flag Day if you're into that sort of thing, I guess.  Now, just imagine how long days seem to little Ellie, especially if her sleep patterns are messed up like they kind of were over the past day.

The part of Jack Bauer will now be played by Ellie Holt...

Normally, I choose to just blog about the things that actually occur during my time alone with Ellie but the events of last evening are too good to just totally ignore.  After Bethany gets home and feeds Ellie, she generally likes to spend some time playing with her sweet baby (who she missed terribly during the work day) while I work on prepping supper.  Therefore, while I was getting our grill ready for some awesome Farmland brats, Bethany had placed Ellie on a big quilt to give her room to spread out and play on the living room floor.  One of our goals lately has been for Ellie to be able to effectively push herself up while on her stomach and obviously that can only come with practice (or perhaps a car jack) so, of course, we put Ellie on her stomach to play.  Ellie's natural inclination last night was to immediately roll over which happened almost immediately.  Bethany moved her back to her stomach time and time again until finally Ellie just started rolling from her stomach to her back to her stomach again and so on and so forth.  In fact, this continued for over a half hour.  Ellie even continued to do so while we ate our dinner in the kitchen and watched her play in the next room.  Unfortunately, all of that activity made it a little rough on Ellie's sleep schedule so she did not have any desire to sleep well that night with us finally getting her to bed around 10:00.

The part of Ellie Holt will now be played by this cute ferret.  At least I think it's a ferret.  Or an otter.

 

When the alarm raised the next morning, I found myself hoping for better days ahead.  Unfortunately, it was 4:00 am and it wasn't the alarm that raised.  It was instead the sound (and optics) of our neighborhood's transformer blowing up.  And no, I'm not talking about Optimus Prime.  Obviously, if this impacted my slumber, then Ellie's was impacted as well.  Our power was out until close to 7:00 am.  Luckily enough, it came back on in time for me to get dressed and head out to meet a friend for breakfast at Chick-Fil-A.  I thought I had actually left early enough to get Ellie to fall asleep in her car seat but was crestfallen to find that she was still wide awake when I reached the restaurant.  She was good and played happily for about an hour until her patience finally ran thin.  Then it was time to go home and let her cry herself out and fall asleep in her swing.

To alleviate confusion, the part of Optimus Prime will continue to be played by Optimus Prime.

I soon received a phone call from my parents that they were heading down for the day.  My dad had hardly  gotten to interact with his granddaughter in a month so he was really antsy to see her.  Once they arrived, we headed to Outback to eat lunch with Ellie in tow.  I was wondering if Ellie would want to stay in her car seat or be held but already knew the answer; she wanted to be held so that she could play.  And play, she did.  Watching her interact with my parents was really a great experience.  Since she's become more expressive and more aware of her surroundings, they enjoy her so much more.  Snapping pictures of the big smiles across their faces as Ellie giggled and squealed in delight was definitely a highlight of the day as well as for the week for me. 

Moral of the story.  Even when the job gets redundant, the benefits are nil, and the cliental is grouchy, there are still enough surprises and shockers to make it worth it.  Case in point.  #DaddyWrite

Day 62 - Cute, Smute...

I find myself asking a lot of questions each day.  Most of those questions lead with the phrase, "Why is Ellie...?" but there are certainly others that do not.  For example, "Why is the alarm already going off?" is one of my favorites that comes up every morning.  I'm also incredibly fond of "What is there in our house for me to eat for lunch?"  Or perhaps, "Is the weather nice enough for me to take the baby outside today?"  In fact, one on my favorite things as of late has been to try and trip up Siri by asking nonsensical questions.  Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention the everlasting classic, "Oh, where is my hairbrush?"  Ok, maybe that last one doesn't actually get asked by me but it does happen at least once a week in song form by Bethany.  

The thing about questions is they don't necessarily have to be spoken aloud in order for you to have them.  And that's what had led me to one of my most frequent questions in my head.  That being, "Is my baby cute or are people just nice?"  And now you're reading this and thinking something along the lines of "Man, this is now a gigantic waste of my time."  Don't worry.  I'll get to my point soon.  I should probably lead with this; Yes, I do honestly believe my baby is cute.  Alas, a qualifier is needed for that.  I am her father.  Therefore it's my job to automatically believe that she is cute.  Maybe if she had a third ear or something, I could escape that responsibility.  For now though, I'm stuck.  :)  

Aw, I guess the third ear is a little cute...

What brings this up are just times that I'm out and about in the world.  For example, Ellie and I have a tradition of heading to my old office once a month to see some of my friends.  Not only is it nice to see them all but it gives me an hour of escapism from the realities of being a stay-at-home dad.  Namely, that you are kind of bound to stay at home.  As the majority of my co-workers were women, there is kind of a line forming to hold Ellie and people basically gush over her.  That being said, these are my friends so I know that they are somewhat held to the same standard as I.  That being, don't insult the baby.  Even if they drop a piercing, eardrum shattering scream that literally makes the floor turn and gaze in your direction, you still can't insult the baby.  Thanks a lot for that one, Ellie!

Strangers complimenting my baby is where I get confused.  Basically anywhere I go, people's eyes are automatically drawn to Ellie.  Whether it's church, the gas station, the grocery store, or, heaven forbid, Walmart, people want to look at the baby.  I feel like looking at her comes with an unwritten social contract though.  If you gaze at the baby, you are required to state her cuteness level for all to hear.  

Just one simple request; please don't do it in baby talk.  I don't mind it when you talk in a cutesie voice at my baby; just make sure it's a semi-complete sentence and doesn't include the words, "Whosthebaby, whosthebaby.  Yurthebaby.  Thatright, yur the baby."  I don't know if anyone enjoys hearing that.  #DaddyWrite

Day 61 - Hot "Shots": Part Deux

I've always been the type of person who is really grossed out by a few certain things.  Watching someone just poke and prod their eye always gets me.  Especially if there's a squishy sound accompanying the touching.  **shudder**  That's the exact reason I always have to look away at a certain part of 'Ace Ventura 2'.  If you've been reading along, then you already know my feelings towards mayo, mustard, and belly buttons so I won't repeat those.  The surprising thing is that with being a dad, you'd think I'd be grossed out on a daily basis.  Between the vomit, dirty diapers, and runny noses, I figured I'd pretty much seen the worst of it and to tell the truth, I didn't find it all that bad.  The truth is that I just hadn't had the perfect opportunity come along to be super grossed out by Ellie.  Now I have...

Today was Ellie's four-month checkup which would obviously be accompanies by more shots.  Last time I took her to the doctor, I had grossly misjudged her eating schedule and received plenty of crying from her as a result.  This time I wasn't taking any chances so actually made a plan.  I know, scary right?  With Ellie needing to arrive for her appointment by 10:45, I decided to set an alarm for myself at 9:50.  The reason being that I knew I needed to not waste any time in getting her fed and ready to go, but I wanted her to sleep as long as possible.  Luckily, Ellie began waking up on her own around then so the alarm wasn't even necessary.  I was able to get her fed, changed, and in the car seat by 10:30 so that we could leave with no problem.

Taking your baby to the doctor is so much easier when they're actually in a good mood.  I mean the baby, not the doctor.  Although, it probably would be rough if the doctor was in a bad mood.  While waiting for our appointment, Ellie was happily playing and cooing in her car seat.  Once they called us back, I stripped Ellie down to her diaper so that the nurses could take her measurements.  Once again, no issues.  Then, the doctor came in and this is where things got really gross for me.  As the doctor was checking Ellie over, he asked me to hold her legs down for him.  I willingly obliged and was then horrified to see him open up Ellie's little girl parts and begin cleaning off dead skin.  Just one of the more disgusting things I've ever had the misfortune of seeing and I actually had to turn away.  I couldn't turn off my ears though because I had the sounds of Ellie screaming while the doctor explained in stark detail exactly what he was doing and why.  Fortunately, he said that babies generally don't have to go through that again.  That's good because I don't want to see it happen ever again.  There are just some part of a daughter that a father really shouldn't be seeing.

Doctor, what are you doing?

Following that little escapade, shots were nothing at all.  Ellie took them like a champ barely even squeaking as the second needle went in.  Then we were done.  I redressed Ellie and took her home where she could nap in peace as the immunizations worked their way through her system.  The moral of the story being twofold.  Number one, just because you've taken your baby to the doctor before, don't automatically assume you know what to expect.  And number two, you're just never going to run out of things in life that gross you out and make you uncomfortable.  If you have, well then, you're probably dead.  #DaddyWrite