Day 532 - Halloween Hijinks

It's the scariest night of the year. Actually, for the record, I don't find Halloween all that scary. Except for when the nondescript, windowless, white panel van rolled down our street with small children trick-or-treating on either side. However, creepy might be the better word for that, not scary. For Ellie though, the first trick-or-treater of this year almost single-handedly wrecked her entire Halloween but that's a story I'll get to later.

With this year marking Ellie's third Halloween, after some deliberation, Bethany and I decided it was time for Ellie to have a Halloween costume. While thinking through some of the options at our disposal, we remembered Ellie had received a Minnie Mouse-themed dress from one of Bethany's co-workers that she absolutely loves. Therefore, we figured it would be fun for Ellie to dress as Minnie Mouse.

Of course, a big part of any Minnie Mouse costume has to be the ears. Without them, you're just a kid with a picture of a cartoon mouse on her chest. Therefore, my mission for the day was to create a set of ears to go with Ellie's dress. Starting early this morning, I found an old box in the basement and cut out a pair of circles using one of Ellie's bowls as a pattern. Then, I covered each circle in black duct tape. 

At this point though, I reached an impasse when I realized I didn't know how to attach the ears to Ellie's head. My impasse would remain unsolved until an afternoon trip to Target gave me what I needed to complete my project: a headband from the $1.00 aisle. With our purchases in hand, we headed home to complete Ellie's costume.

In case you're wondering what all goes into a homemade pair of mouse ears, the list is simple.

• One $1.00 headband from Target
• Two circles cut out of cardboard
• One roll of black duct tape
• One old t-shirt (blue)
• One really old pair of underwear (black)
• One staple gun

In case you're wondering, the underwear was used to cover the ears with fabric as I thought it looked better than duct tape. Don't worry; they were clean. As for the shirt, I cut strips of fabric and tied them into a bow to create a version of Minnie's iconic bow. The final step was to assemble everything using the staple gun and duct tape. Honestly, it didn't look too bad if I say so myself.

If we're being serious, all of the work on the costume didn't really matter to Ellie one iota. What really mattered to her was taking part in her favorite part of Halloween, handing out candy. Unfortunately for Ellie, that was almost ruined with the first trick-or-treater of the evening.

The three of us had been anxiously waiting in our living room for the first kids to arrive. While Bethany and I were just sitting on the floor chatting, Ellie excitedly peered out the window. All of a sudden, Ellie began screaming in terror and took off, bounding up the stairs to safety. At that same moment, the doorbell rang out. As I answered the door, I saw the object of Ellie's fear: a kid in one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes. 

Our best guess as to the reason for Ellie's fear? If you've ever seen one of those dinosaur costumes, then you realize that it's not easy to tell there's a human inside. That's especially true when you're two years old. Lucky for us, as soon as the dinosaur had left the premises, Ellie wandered back downstairs and excitedly handed out candy to any who rang our doorbell.

The moral of the story for this Halloween for Ellie? Simply put, she probably shouldn't watch 'Jurassic Park' anytime soon. Actually, for all I know, 'The Land Before Time' might even be too intense for her. #DaddyWrite

Day 528 - It's the American (Royal) Way

I have a (hardly new) confession to make regarding my daughter. If she does not grow up to be a veterinarian or zookeeper or even someone who works in animal control, I will be incredibly shocked.

I say this because Ellie has spent literally the entire week asking to see animals. It began as far back as Monday with requests to go see "Papa's cows" again. Those were followed by requests to go to the zoo on Tuesday. 

Finally on Wednesday, I promised to take her to the Red Barn Farm in Weston that afternoon. However, I had a caveat; she absolutely had to be on her best behavior. That was not to be as she succumbed to her basic toddler instincts and threw a horrendous tantrum. Although, if I'm being 100% honest, it had less to do with the tantrum and more to do with her napping for three hours.

Today though would finally be Ellie's day. With Bethany leaving town this morning to head to a women's retreat for the weekend, I really wanted to make today a fun day for my daughter. 

Conveniently enough, this weekend marks the final days of the livestock shows at the American Royal. Therefore, as soon as Bethany left for the morning at 9:00, Ellie and I loaded up and headed down to the West Bottoms to partake in some old-fashioned cow watching.

Someone, somewhere has probably asked this question in real life

This probably goes without saying but I didn't plan this trip out particularly well. For proof, look no further than the fact that I didn't realize one had to pay for parking ($10?!?!) when going to the American Royal and had no cash on me to boot. Lucky for us, we found a parking garage less than a 1/4 mile away from the arena that did accept credit cards.

Once Ellie and I made the cold trek from the garage to the arena, we started our journey by wandering back into the "stables" area of Hale Arena to check out the livestock. Ellie was so overcome with excitement over seeing live cows that she couldn't even string together a coherent sentence to describe what she was seeing. 

"Ellie see cow...eating...no...standing...vacuuming...not Papa's cow...cow not dirty"

After roaming the "stables" for a while, we found our way into the show ring where a Charolais show was going on. Obviously, the ring during a show is no place for a toddler. Taking that into account, we wandered through an open gate and climbed up into the stands where Ellie would sit and enjoy some animal crackers as we watched the judging.

Once that particular judging session had ended, I decided it was a great time for Ellie to take a bathroom break. Following said break, we wandered into the very prestigious and obviously well-known American Royal Museum. I say this because I definitely didn't realize that this museum was a thing until today. 

While it wasn't a huge (or thrilling) museum by any means, there were plenty of hands-on activities that served to entertain Ellie for a few minutes. My personal favorite was when Ellie was able to pretend she was grooming a horse. Although, us weighing ourselves in a cattle chute is a close second. For the record, the scale was inaccurate by about five pounds.

After that, we wandered back inside the arena for some more judging. Ellie and I spent about 30 minutes happily watching from the stands before Ellie informed me that "Ellie's tired of sitting." With that, we decided to make one more pass through the "stables" in an attempt to find the Angus section. 

Upon discovering the Angus section, Ellie was overjoyed to find that there weren't just cows standing and eating or being groomed. In her own words, there were also "Cows taking shower!". In fact, she was so intrigued by this that we stood there for a good ten minutes watching people bathe their cattle. 

Finally, my daughter looked at me with her big blue eyes and simply said, "Ellie getting pretty tired of cows. Go home now?". So with that, we trekked out of the arena and headed back to our car. 

There was one final mystery to be solved though before we could head home. Namely, how much would I be paying for our stint in this parking garage. Fortunately for me, when I scanned my ticket, it came out to a not-so-painful $3.00. 

I guess it pays to be cheap and not pay for parking at the first lot I find? #DaddyWrite

Day 523 - Let Me In!

It was a cold and cloudy day; much like today. Actually, for the record, it was today. This morning, in fact. With nothing else going on, Ellie and I chose to spend our morning getting things done around the house that needed to be done. Things like doing dishes, picking up the kitchen, and putting away toys that weren't being played with were just some of the things on the list.

As I stood at the sink washing the last of the dishes, Ellie on a chair beside me, I began to gaze out the window at the drops of water beading up across our deck. I understand people don't really gaze at beads of water under normal circumstances. However, as I've spent the last couple of days staining our deck, I was more than excited to see it taking place. The thing about looking out a window is that you really don't get the full picture of what's going on. Therefore, I decided to pop outside for a quick second to see what the deck and stairs looked like.

The thing about having a toddler is that you don't really get to go outside without them wanting to do so as well. Unfortunately for Ellie, I decided she should stay inside to avoid the cold, especially since I would only be outside for a minute or so. 

After taking a quick glance at the floorboards and the stairs, I was ready to head back inside. For the record, they look great! I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it freely only to find the door didn't budge. Panicked, I immediately tried the same thing again only to experience the same result. Finally, the truth set in; I was locked out. 

I didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to piece together what had happened. Since I was outside, Ellie decided she needed to be outside. However, instead of turning the doorknob, Ellie instead turned the deadbolt, locking me outside and herself inside. 

As I stood there shivering, barefoot, and lacking a cell phone, I began to think about my options. I could go next door to one of my neighbors and call my wife to come home and let me in or I could try and break down the door like a real-life action movie star (Lots of glass in our door = Ouch!). However, the most realistic option was to try and talk Ellie through opening the deadbolt. 

Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to talk a two-year-old through unlocking a door but it's not an easy task. For one, if I tapped on the glass and pointed to the deadbolt, Ellie's reaction was to mimic me rather than help. If I pantomimed unlocking the deadbolt, her response was to mimic that as well. For the most part, she didn't seem to remember that she had twisted the deadbolt just minutes earlier. Before long, she had both the doorknob and the deadbolt locked. 

Finally, after she managed to unlock the doorknob again, I convinced her to grab a chair and stand on it next to the door. It was then that she was able to see the deadbolt right in front of her eyes. She grabbed hold of the deadbolt and turned it one direction only to find it wouldn't spin. Then, after much pleading, she finally twisted it the opposite direction, unlocking the door and letting a very cold and damp daddy burst inside. For the record, I was only outside for about 15 minutes.

I should end this little tale with the disclaimer that I didn't really know the best thing to do in regards to punishing Ellie. She had locked me out but she had also let me back in. Therefore, I decided a thank you was in order but she did receive a spanking as well. 

My hope is that she doesn't play with doors anymore but also realized I was grateful she let me in. I'm guessing she'll instead associate the words "Thank you" with being spanked. Therefore, sorry in advance for my daughter's lack of proper etiquette. It's because of that one time her father spanked her while saying "Thank you." #DaddyWrite

Day 517 - Head Above Water...Or Not

I've discussed Ellie's lack of fear before. I can be certain because I know I've used the same lame collage of Daredevil and Taylor Swift's 'Fearless' twice. 

Still, though, her lack of fear continues to astonish me. As I was thinking about it today, I had a question pop into my head. Are children born with the capacity to fear or is it simply learned through experience?

Don't worry Mr. Butterfly.

I believe wholeheartedly that children learn to be cautious. In my book though, fear and caution are distinctly different reactions. Caution is simply thinking before you act. Fear is more of a crippling reaction to stimuli. Those definitions aren't dictionary definitions by the way, just made-up definitions brought forth from my own understandings of the term.

At this point, anyone still reading is likely wondering why I'm pretending to be deep and philosophical. They're probably also wondering if I'll start explaining the meaning of life next (According to 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it's 42). The answer to that is no. Instead, I'll just talk about how Ellie's taking swim lessons again this month.

Today marked the second week of Ellie's second round of swim lessons. While her first round, which occurred back in winter and/or spring, was fun, I thought she might get more out of it by waiting to take the second round. For the record, two weeks in and I believe I have collected enough evidence to confirm my hypothesis was correct.

For Ellie, her first round of lessons were spent mostly in the safety of my arms as her lip quivered from the intense cold of the pool. This time around, even though her lip still quivers, she is more likely to be happily splashing about and attempting to swim on her own. As there's only two other kids in Ellie's class, she's getting plenty of 1:1 time with the teacher to learn.

When we arrived for our lessons today, it was all I could do to convince Ellie to not immediately jump into the pool before her teacher arrived. Once lessons finally began, Ellie started off standing on a moveable platform, allowing her to keep her head above water. Then, she was encouraged to run back and forth between me and the teacher. 

It didn't take too long of doing that for the inevitable to occur. By that, I mean Ellie tripping and falling into the water. Obviously, my protective instincts kicked in and I quickly fished my daughter out of the water. While I expected tears, I was instead greeted by laughing and smiling. With that, Ellie went back to running back and forth across the platform which the teacher said was a great thing.

Not really applicable, but I hope you enjoy watching this horse swim.

Soon after, the teacher took Ellie in her arms and laid her flat on her back in the water, proceeding to slowly drag Ellie around the pool. Last time around, Ellie would have no part of this activity as she didn't want water in her ears. This time though, she couldn't have cared less as she was completely at peace in the water.

The final activity for the day centered around convincing Ellie it was ok to put her face in the water. As part of this activity, Ellie found herself right back on the same platform she started lessons on. The teacher gently wiggled a plastic fish around Ellie's feet in the water until Ellie decided it was time to try and get the fish. She first tried to bend down slightly, only to find that her prize had "dived" lower. Then, she attempted to use her foot to hook the fish and bring it up to her, only to find that her prize continued to elude her. 

Finally, with no other recourse left, she bent at her waist and plunged her face into the water. While doing so, she actually remembered to blow bubbles out of her mouth like we had been working on. Impressive, right? With that, the teacher gave Ellie the fish she had so desperately desired. Approximately four seconds after that, Ellie lost interest in said fish, letting t it sink to the bottom of the pool.

Regardless of one's age and comfort, being under water is not a natural experience for humans. That being said, I couldn't be more proud of Ellie's lack of fear in learning how to be cautious and comfortable in the water. After all, even Michael Phelps had to start somewhere, right? #DaddyWrite

Bet you thought you'd get away without seeing this again...